Supermarket shenanigans EXPOSED
IT'S ALL TRUE! I once worked in a supermarket stocking shelves, and sometimes they'd have us spend an entire night shift, especially on the weekend, moving items from shelf to shelf, just to make it harder for people to find what they'd come in to the place to buy. Seriously, there's nothing more entertaining than watching a frustrated mother of four completely lose her rag in the middle of the paper-goods aisle and throw a frothing wobbler -- dropping bricks off a freeway bridge just doesn't begin to compare!
Oh, wait, no, actually, we didn't do anything like that at all, because that would be fucking stupid. Instead we took the boring, predictable option and put things right by other things just like them, in the aisles where the signs said they should be -- you know, like how you always seem to find the butter in the dairy case with the other butter, not halfway across the store in the butcher-shop cold cases because we thought it'd offer better cross-selling opportunities with the meat.
(Though admittedly, if you've never taken an extra-rare steak, salted it, and seared it in butter until the outside turned crispy, you're missing out on a culinary experience fit for a god. Top with melted bleu cheese, bacon, and mushrooms sauteed in the bacon fat for something that'll get gods to convert to *you* -- and so what if it clogs up your pipes? Everybody dies of something or other, so why not enjoy yourself on the way?)
Honestly, has it ever occurred to some of you that you might have an easier time of it in the grocery store if you spent less effort on concocting elaborate conspiracy theories to explain why you always need a half hour to find your favorite brand of shrimp-and-mango-chutney crisps, and a little more on paying attention to where things are so that you don't have to figure it out entirely from scratch the next time you take it into your tiny little heads to wander in the front door? Or would that cut into your all-important Foursquare time?