Feeds

back to article iPad apps: the 10 smartest and 10 stupidest

As competitors to Apple's "magical and revolutionary" iPad begin to appear, expect Jobs & Co. to argue that a key advantage of their tablet over the Samsung Galaxy Tab, RIM BlackBerry PlayBook, et al. is the vast collection of iPad apps available in the iOS App Store. Well, yes and no. There are, indeed, some fine apps …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
Thumb Down

No FileMaker?

No FileMaker for iPad, even in the runners-up??? Makes me wonder how many Apps the author has actually seen.

2
2
Anonymous Coward

@No FileMaker

You're right - FileMaker IS pretty stupid.

1
2
Thumb Up

Oh god

While the top ten smartest will always be open to debate (no airvideo? No Filebrowser? ), I must concur with the ten worst. Gahd they were truly cringe-worthy.

1
0

Title? What title?

It was like watching a car crash, I was more interested in the 10 worst apps.

Sadly, you know the developers have made money from them!

2
0
Gold badge

Sadly?

It probably took only 5 minutes to create (say) the red card app. If it gets reviewed by a dozen different magazines, that's a fairly good hourly rate for its creator. The economics are similar to those for spam. I wonder how many "app-spammers" there are out there? Should we pity them? Or pity those who fall for it?

2
0
Silver badge

The Ipad is just yet another mobile computer

There were tablets before and after the Apple tablet came along - we should be asking whether the Ipad can compete with the range of tablets now available, not the other way round. However the article makes a good point - it's not about quantity - who cares if the Ipad has thousands of fart apps? Some of the more prominent apps do nothing more than display a graphic ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8152338.stm ). And claims of numbers of apps are misleading anyway, since they only count the official app stores. Other platforms like Symbian, Windows, Android, Blackberry etc aren't locked down like Apple, so the total number of apps would be far greater. Would anyone suggest that the Ipad has more than Windows, because Microsoft don't have an app store?

I must confess, when I first read this, I missed the irony of "magical and revolutionary" and didn't realise it was a quote from Apple. The sad thing is it's hard to tell irony from some of the astroturfing that goes on by much of the media.

2
2

I don't follow your logic

I can see how it's pretty much impossible to count the apps available for devices that are not locked to an official app store, but I don't see how that leads directly to there being more of them.

Care to fill in the blanks?

I would suggest that Windows probably has more apps because it's been around for 20+ years and is installed on something like 90% of all desktop computers.

I'd also say that it is *probable* that Android will have more apps than iOS, if it doesn't already, because it's likely to become a dominant platform in the mobile space - which will tend to take you down the same path. Proving it will likely be a great deal more difficult, though.

0
0
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Postmodernism Generator

"...either reject postconceptual discourse or accept that the State is capable of significance..."

Well, there's me rejecting postconceptual discourse, then...

1
0
Silver badge
WTF?

Bacon Clock?

Aw, come on! It's genius! Nowhere near as bad as the vast majority of dross on the Apple store.

2
2

Genius!?

For sufficiently small values of genius, perhaps.

If I hadn't seen the title there's no way I'd have guessed that was supposed to be bacon. The "bacon" graphics are so poor they look like red and white stripey things. Could be so much better.

The concept isn't bad. Take a theme, knock up some graphics and spam the app store. Bacon clock, fish clock, chocolate straw clock, etc. The possibilities are limited only by your imagination for stick like things to make the numbers out of. All at 99c of course...

1
1

Bacon Graphics

What you want is Canadian Bacon Clock!

0
0
Silver badge
Happy

Real genius

Many years ago we had a programmer that had a screensaver he'd coded, the digits being formed out of the lovely shapes of Playboy bunnies. Sadly, I can't see that one appearing on the iStore soon due to the Jobsian morality codes, despite it's obvious artistic appeal....

0
1
Jobs Horns

How can there be a list of the 10 worst?

Surely Apple's strict approval procedure ensures the best experience for the customer by weeding out the dross? Or is it that Apple are only human after all?

0
0
Jobs Halo

I'd hate to see the ones that got rejected

Spare a thought for those doing the weeding out

1
0
Jobs Halo

And imagine the complaint emails!

"I still await a confirmation of acceptance for my submissions to the Apple App Store. "Erect Penis Metronome" and "It'sTotallyMilkYou'reShootingAtThemCam" are intended to be a cornerstone of my business and need to be accepted forthwith!

I'll never use this icon again, but Thank You Jobs for keeping this sort of thing away!

1
1
Thumb Down

Postmodernism Generator

comes from a well-known random essay generator on the Web. You could just visit its page on the Web for free instead of buying an "app".

0
0
WTF?

Find your fanny?

*juvenile comment goes here*

0
0
Jobs Horns

So nothing

that isn't available on Android then? Office Apps, graphics apps- they're all there.

Actually, I'm not sure about the remote monitor thing. But it's definitely been around on Windows Mobile for a good few years.

I'm still waiting to see what the iPad can do that nothing else can. "Magical" and "Revolutionary" are big claims that I'm pretty sure the ASA wouldn't agree with...

0
2
Thumb Up

Stupidest iPad apps

My brother had a good go at finding the stupidest iPad apps a while back and came up with some corkers.

Check out

Vegan Pamphlet

and

Last Words From Death Row - Texas Edition

0
0
WTF?

Title

TRWTF is the iPad

1
0

TRWTF?

You're on the wrong site bro.

1
1
WTF?

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

Dear Ef'd,

In case you can’t tell, this is a grown-up place. The

fact that you insist on using your ridiculous handle

clearly shows that you’re too young and too stupid

to be using The Register.

Go away and grow up.

Sincerely,

Bert Glanstron

0
2
Stu
Alert

The worst thing...

...about the stupid apps is that there ARE people out there who are stupid and common enough to like them, so utterly helpless that its a real laugh for them and their likeminded mates. Chavvy teenagers, I point at you. Which is why the stupid apps make quite a lot of money for their lazy assed developers.

,

Apple should have a tat cleanout, as its becoming difficult by the second to find the good stuff amongst the shit, I only learn about the decent apps via site articles like this one.

0
0
Joke

Actually the tanning app works fine!

... replete w/ increased risk of skin cancer, etc! You simply must use it out of doors for 60 min. a day..... between 10:00 and 14:00.

And to think I haven't yet forked over $500 - $1000 US plus the cost of a "data plan" (whatever that is) yet....

0
0
Silver badge

Maybe not too stupid...

It appears that all the "stupid" apps are $.99. It seems that these developers really aren't that stupid after all. They are getting some money from the sales, so they are pretty smart. The dumb people are the ones that actually BUY the applications. Need I say more?

0
0
Happy

But.....but....but...

...it's bacon! You CAN'T go wrong with bacon!

Mmmmm....bacon...

2
0
Thumb Down

No tit required, it's a bum

"Find Your Fanny - cartoon-butt collection (99¢) "

I'd like to point out that Americans and Brits have a different idea as to what constitutes a fanny as i can see a lot of disappointed people on this side of the pond accidentally downloading this app.

Americans - Rear bum

Brits - Front bum

2
0

And

Short for Frances

0
0
Def
Bronze badge
Happy

Re: And

"Short for Frances"

But not everyone has one of those though.

0
0

Handwriting with Notes Plus could be beautiful ...

Check out this piece of art made with Notes Plus by Chipp Walters: http://blog.chipp.com/best-app-for-taking-notes-on-an-ipad/

0
0
Thumb Up

dormant

Can you get sales figures for the 10 most stupid. Would be interesting, no?

0
0
Boffin

Missed one

iFlickTheBean

Masturbation will never be the same again.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Jumping on the bandwagon

It seem that every man and his dog is jumping on the apple app bandwagon these days in an attempt to make money and/or fame for producing the next best thing. A lot of the time it's hard to believe that apple even review and approve some of the apps that make it onto the store given some of the awful creations I have had the pleasure of downloading.

0
0
This topic is closed for new posts.