back to article Laptops heat up your balls

Men who put laptops on top of their laps heat up their testicles - even when wearing clothes. This is bad for sperm quality, which in turn could affect fertility. These are the findings of a State University of New York study of 29 men who agreed to have the temperature of their scrotum measured while using a laptop on their …

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We need more research on this.

For example : how many hours of Civ 5 do I have to play before I can have unprotected sex safely?

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@Alpha Tony

If you play enough hours of Civ 5 you will probably find the problem of having any sort sex goes away

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RE: We need more research on this.

uhmmm, you can't. there is a lot more risks to having unsafe sex than just getting somebody pregnant....

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@bikerboil87

;there is a lot more risks to having unsafe sex than just getting somebody pregnant...'

You're telling me. This one time I pulled a muscle and couldn't walk for a week.

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Silver badge

Roasted nuts

Many of the men that are seen perpetually attatchd to thier laptops seem to have more of an interest in what is on the screen rather than what is happening in the real world. Procreation is not foremost in thier minds nor is permanent attatchment to a laptop one of the biggest turn-ons for women.

The cooked tadpoles can be seen as Darwinism in action as the sub-species reduces in numbers. Another sub-species is coming to the fore, that of the Pad-Carriers, they are more likley to die out due to rushing across busy roads trying to get a decent signal.

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Happy

Cook your junk ..

.. is the correct term :)

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Paris Hilton

Can I sue?

I have a company issued laptop.

Can I sue for damages to my little wigglies?

Surely there must be a Health & Safety investigation into this as we as a species are progressively sterilising our brightest members. <smirk>

Paris as she must be getting thirsty reading all this.

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WTF?

So that makes hairy kneed, kilt wearing Scotsmen ....

really fertile?

But this studies findings are contusing. How come the birth rate in India, Pakistan and China is so high?

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Simples, really

Less laptops, very little spread of the internet, thus less time spent cooking your spuds.

Oh yes, that also means more time spent doing the right things!

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Anonymous Coward

These 29 men

... who agreed to have the temperature of their scrotum measured.

Did they get to choose who took the measurements?

Or were they not that fussy?

Enquiring nuts need to know.

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Best suited for India

This is precisely what India needs. More laptops!

Got to get that 1 billion under control. Less babies. Yes!

Sorry. Time for my medication, I think.

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Paris Hilton

Darwinism

On the other hand blokes who get their tackle out while looking at their computer screens are better off, reproductively speaking.

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Anonymous Coward

Go commando

"Other studies suggest that a 1 C rise in scrotal temperature could harm sperm production"

Well if global warming increases temperatures overall by the predicted 3 degrees, then we will have to go commando or perhaps wear kilts in order to be safe, regardless of laptops!

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beats the snip

With 3 kids already I fail to see why I should be concerned. Sounds like an added benefit to me.

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I know what you mean...

... I think I should be playing more games and such like before going to bed.

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Will iPad do better?

They should test the iPad and other types of tablet computers

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title

Will all future laptop reviews on El Reg now rate the testicle heat raising powers of each laptop?

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Jobs Horns

iPad users - more sex, more fertile, more better

Prepare for our genetically superior progeny to take over the planet, puny sub human laptop users.

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Nut roasting!

Laptops are already hot enough for me *not* to consider putting them on my lap. Fortunately, most of the time I've required using a laptop, I have some kind of table to put the laptop on. On airplanes, this used to mean using the dinner tray for the laptop, or the next seat if it was free. Oh, I haven't flown with a laptop on-board since July 2001, don't know what kind of restrictions apply for laptops these days...

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Grenade

no sh*t sherlock

men who put a warm device on their lap have increased scrotal temperature

huh? they did a study of this? its bloody obvious...and sometime, eg hot dinner plate, bloody painful

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Paris Hilton

Long hot baths are a fairly decent male contraceptive.

However, since it's DEVELOPING wigglers affected by higher temps, the pipe need clearing. And the baths need to be a daily occurence. And of course there's also a chance a hardy little taddy migt make it. Still, for those who think Jebus is watching them, it's an option to add to coiutus interuptus and the rythm method and one that may well be more effective than either.

And yes, inquiring minds, your love spuds will work fine once you stop cooking them.

Paris coz.....

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Anonymous Coward

Laptops heat up your balls

and it's hard to clean the keyboard afterwards

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More laptops!

I also think This is precisely what India needs. More laptops!

Got to get that 1 billion under control. Less babies. Yes!

Sorry. Time for my medication, I think.

__________

Downloadvlcplayer.org

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