BOFH
BOFH: You just can't go around killing people
Bot Wars IV - The Screenplay [Black Screen] Several screens of multi-coloured static flash by before the words: INITIAL TESTS INDICATE UNIT OK appear in large tasteless block letters on the screen. Another burst of static crowds the screen before a Camera image appears with the top half of the PFY’s upside-down face …
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and the run(ning) continues
PFY been a bit too smart this time ...... or too many largers in the planning.
nearly a coffee moment.
Title? What Title!
Simon, you owe me a keyboard. Another excellent story.
Of course you can go around killing people.
Better not let it watch Hardware, though.
Could be worse...
... might have seen Demon Seed [chill runs down spine]
TFI Friday!
ROTFLMFAO, excellent work - can't wait to see the continuation :)
Not just regular installments...
but cliffhangers too! Can't wait 'til next Friday
Damn! I have to wait.
Cliffhangers like this are just unfair!
Don't sell the film-rights, Simon, well, not for too little anyway. This will make a great flick - character development, Frankenstein's monsters, general mayhem and desctruction of office furniture and fittings. Just make it gratuitous.
Could we have a bloody massacre, I mean a recycling, of some marketing types please?
The waiting time..
.. depends on whether production companies bite. I love this story!
Back_to_the_article.click()
Ctrl-A
Ctrl-C
Alt-Tab to Series_2_episode_1.doc
Ctrl-V
I'm working (with Simon's agreement) on a series of BOFH TV scripts and I'm trying to find a producer for them. I don't want to say too much at this stage, but I hope if it does take off, BOFH aficionados won't be disappointed.
Having said that, I've deliberately avoided too much gratuitous violence. After the first couple of instances, it actually gets boring. There's only so much mileage in Arsenic and Old Lace. It's far more intimidating to show things that downtrodden IT people could actually do without landing themselves in the slammer.
But chainsaw-wielding robots hunting the management... oh, yes.
Perfect!
But I want it to air in the US too! Not just 2 seasons like they did with the new Dr. Who
don't stop now
GAAAAAAHHHH...now I have to wait until next week.....what to do...what to do....
Bored
Can we move on, this story line has been done death!
Sure
You write it, we'll read it. Then complain it's boring. :-P
Nice work Simon - great to be getting our BOFH fix so frequently now :-)
Better and better
Simon, have an icon pint because I can't buy you a real one. This is superb!
single line of text
Cut to Mission Control, an hour later. Simon and Stephen enter Mission Control to find the robot gone. The PFY’s monitor has a text editor open with a single line of text
NOW I’VE GOT AN AXE, HO HO HO!
Excellent work Simon!!
(fire = closest thing to fire axe)
Red Dwarf
Assuming the PFY hasn't shown the 'bot the episode "Psirens", just give it an electric guitar and ask it to play.
Or alternatively, nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Oh, please, please, PLEASE can I borrow it?
I could do *SO* much good with one of those around here...
*prints pictures of certain lusers*
Loving it - particularly the Die Hard line! :D
Could only be improved by...
...two robots sitting in the smoking ruins of the building trying to decide which one of them is "The Thing"
Episode 14?
Versioning's never been the strength of the Bofh, has it? Then again, why would a bastard operator care...
@Episode 14?
You mean this one:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/10/29/bofh_2010_episode_14/
(Icon for obvious reasons)
Re: @Episode 14?
Yes yes thank you everyone there is now just one episode 14 and a shiny new episode 15. Can I go back to bed now? Great.
OMFG
This story line is the best in a long time. Go on!
IF they manage to get the robot back, the PFY should make 'em watch "Hostel"... then show 'em some Boss' and/or beancounters' pictures.
Excellent. Can I has pubtime nao?
And Simon, don't you dare making us hang for several weeks this time!
Return of the BOFH Killer Robot
So the BOFH *did* pull it out from the basement after all!
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2002/11/21/the_killer_bofh_bot/
This is the bot Simon's using to hunt the other, Terminator gone DieHard bot. Woohoo!!!
If common everyday compuers can run skynet
then a network of more powerful computers that gives the robot self awareness should be easy task for BOFH.
However, I do remember BOFH has backup plan to handle "future" enemies who (or what) may threat his safety. Time to pull the trigger?
Permanent fixing solution
415v 3 phase mains in 3 nanosecond bursts, about 20 will suffice
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