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back to article BOFH: You just can't go around killing people

Bot Wars IV - The Screenplay [Black Screen] Several screens of multi-coloured static flash by before the words: INITIAL TESTS INDICATE UNIT OK appear in large tasteless block letters on the screen. Another burst of static crowds the screen before a Camera image appears with the top half of the PFY’s upside-down face …

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Coffee/keyboard

and the run(ning) continues

PFY been a bit too smart this time ...... or too many largers in the planning.

nearly a coffee moment.

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Finally, it's Friday! Thank you, Simon.

<see title>

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Coffee/keyboard

Title? What Title!

Simon, you owe me a keyboard. Another excellent story.

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Anonymous Coward

Of course you can go around killing people.

Better not let it watch Hardware, though.

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Rob
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Jobs Horns

Could be worse...

... might have seen Demon Seed [chill runs down spine]

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TFI Friday!

ROTFLMFAO, excellent work - can't wait to see the continuation :)

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Not just regular installments...

but cliffhangers too! Can't wait 'til next Friday

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Damn! I have to wait.

Cliffhangers like this are just unfair!

Don't sell the film-rights, Simon, well, not for too little anyway. This will make a great flick - character development, Frankenstein's monsters, general mayhem and desctruction of office furniture and fittings. Just make it gratuitous.

Could we have a bloody massacre, I mean a recycling, of some marketing types please?

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The waiting time..

.. depends on whether production companies bite. I love this story!

Back_to_the_article.click()

Ctrl-A

Ctrl-C

Alt-Tab to Series_2_episode_1.doc

Ctrl-V

I'm working (with Simon's agreement) on a series of BOFH TV scripts and I'm trying to find a producer for them. I don't want to say too much at this stage, but I hope if it does take off, BOFH aficionados won't be disappointed.

Having said that, I've deliberately avoided too much gratuitous violence. After the first couple of instances, it actually gets boring. There's only so much mileage in Arsenic and Old Lace. It's far more intimidating to show things that downtrodden IT people could actually do without landing themselves in the slammer.

But chainsaw-wielding robots hunting the management... oh, yes.

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Perfect!

But I want it to air in the US too! Not just 2 seasons like they did with the new Dr. Who

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Happy

don't stop now

GAAAAAAHHHH...now I have to wait until next week.....what to do...what to do....

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Bored

Can we move on, this story line has been done death!

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Sure

You write it, we'll read it. Then complain it's boring. :-P

Nice work Simon - great to be getting our BOFH fix so frequently now :-)

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Pint

Better and better

Simon, have an icon pint because I can't buy you a real one. This is superb!

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Flame

single line of text

Cut to Mission Control, an hour later. Simon and Stephen enter Mission Control to find the robot gone. The PFY’s monitor has a text editor open with a single line of text

NOW I’VE GOT AN AXE, HO HO HO!

Excellent work Simon!!

(fire = closest thing to fire axe)

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Die Hard quote =

Icing on cake!

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Go

Red Dwarf

Assuming the PFY hasn't shown the 'bot the episode "Psirens", just give it an electric guitar and ask it to play.

Or alternatively, nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

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Terminator

Oh, please, please, PLEASE can I borrow it?

I could do *SO* much good with one of those around here...

*prints pictures of certain lusers*

Loving it - particularly the Die Hard line! :D

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look ones moving....

Famous last words??

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Go

Could only be improved by...

...two robots sitting in the smoking ruins of the building trying to decide which one of them is "The Thing"

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Episode 14?

Versioning's never been the strength of the Bofh, has it? Then again, why would a bastard operator care...

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FAIL

@Episode 14?

You mean this one:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/10/29/bofh_2010_episode_14/

(Icon for obvious reasons)

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: @Episode 14?

Yes yes thank you everyone there is now just one episode 14 and a shiny new episode 15. Can I go back to bed now? Great.

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Anonymous Coward

OMFG

This story line is the best in a long time. Go on!

IF they manage to get the robot back, the PFY should make 'em watch "Hostel"... then show 'em some Boss' and/or beancounters' pictures.

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Pint

Excellent. Can I has pubtime nao?

And Simon, don't you dare making us hang for several weeks this time!

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Return of the BOFH Killer Robot

So the BOFH *did* pull it out from the basement after all!

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2002/11/21/the_killer_bofh_bot/

This is the bot Simon's using to hunt the other, Terminator gone DieHard bot. Woohoo!!!

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Grenade

Don't know why but I like the Robot Wars

<see title>

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If common everyday compuers can run skynet

then a network of more powerful computers that gives the robot self awareness should be easy task for BOFH.

However, I do remember BOFH has backup plan to handle "future" enemies who (or what) may threat his safety. Time to pull the trigger?

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Permanent fixing solution

415v 3 phase mains in 3 nanosecond bursts, about 20 will suffice

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