back to article BOFH: Join the club

“You make it sound so... nasty,” the PFY says to the Boss as he fingers through several sheets of complaints. “What – trying to maim a supplier’s employees just because you don’t like their product!?” the Boss snaps. “THEY STARTED IT!” the PFY retorts. “How?” “They sent us their product!” “And in response you’ve been …

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Anonymous Coward

oh god....

I bet the security folks are watching me on the CCTV cameras wondering what the hell I'm doing laughing like a maniac in their data center.......

Excellend Job, again.

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Linux

Brilliant

"They Started it", absolutely brilliant. Simon you give me so many ideas for office hilarity but alas i have a small smidgen of conscience left but that will to take long to purge. scrub -r -p nnsa /dev/conscience there all better.

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Pint

Thank you Simon

This storyline just keeps getting better & better .....

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wim
Happy

thank you thank you

keep em coming

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Another fortnight - another BOFH

A more mundane bofh for sure, but Simon has been doing some good work lately. Keep it up buddy!

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Heart

Excellant!

It just doesn't feel like friday without the BOFH. The increasing frequency of updates is very good, keep it up!

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Heart

Magnesium Fire

I love it. Well Done!!!

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Thumb Up

Lol

That's made my day!!!!

Keep up the good work!!

Jay

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Pint

My...

Friday is now perfik.....well nearly.......I just have to get to the pub!

:-)

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Thumb Up

What can I say....

... only that there are tears of laughter running down my face!

Another epic episode.

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Coffee/keyboard

Oh nicely done...

Looks like you're onto a winner here, Simon. Had me laughing like a loon... thanks for the cheering up :-)

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Paris Hilton

A refund !

Robotards throw in towel.

So, we'll never know what the next " service message "

was. Perhaps, " We have identified a fault in the

circuit-breaker architecture, implemented up-graded

protocols and return the machine to your service etc "

Ph, no refunds

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Pint

They Tried...

...making cars out of magnesium.

Big Mistake!

http://www.britishpathe.com/record.php?id=39422

Particularly, note what happens when water is applied!

Now i am gonna test my brain when beer is applied.

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Terminator

Bloody

“Bloody magnesium fire"

"Bloody genius" more like.

Bloody in the literal sense, natch.

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Thumb Up

Ahhh, fun with magnesium!

Excellent! :D It'd be ruddy difficult to keep track of for avoidance purposes, too - magnesium burns too brightly to watch directly.

How do I know this? At school we had a chemistry teacher who decided to demonstrate catalysts in action using a rather volitile experiment of creating iron from iron oxide + aluminium powder as a catalyst and a heat source - in this case, a magnesium fuse. It was so much fun, she demonstrated it twice!

Slighty bigger version of what she did here:

http://www.davidavery.co.uk/thermite/index.htm

So, assuming the robot had aluminium panels... ;)

As for our results - well, last time I re-visited that classroom, there were still bits of iron embedded in the ceiling... ;)

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Boffin

Not catalysts

That's an experiment demonstrating oxidation. The difference in oxidation energies between the iron and aluminium means that the aluminium violently takes the oxygen from the iron oxide, hence the fierce reaction.

The magnesium is there for 2 reasons: firstly, the activation energy for the thermite is quite large, so having something easily lit that burns hot enough to ignite the reaction is a plus. Secondly, the magnesium ribbon burning down gives the teacher time to get away from the reaction before it starts

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Pint

Re: Not catalysts

"That's an experiment demonstrating oxidation. The difference in oxidation energies between the iron and aluminium means that the aluminium violently takes the oxygen from the iron oxide, hence the fierce reaction.

The magnesium is there for 2 reasons: firstly, the activation energy for the thermite is quite large, so having something easily lit that burns hot enough to ignite the reaction is a plus. Secondly, the magnesium ribbon burning down gives the teacher time to get away from the reaction before it starts"

Yes, I remember the running away and hiding bit! ;) And the plexiglass protective screens, and the goggles etc. And the headmistress wandering in halfway through with some prospective parents and getting quite a scare as the thing went up! ;)

Anyway, it's over just over half a lifetime since that demonstration, so my memory is a little fuzzy on the precise details... ;) I'm /fairly/ sure there was an unmentioned catalyst in the mix, but I can't remember what it was. And I could be wrong.

But, hey - things went boom in a suitably spectacular, ceiling damaging manner, and that's what really matters, eh? ;)

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1

This

is the best story in a long time. Oh, I love robots.

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Pint

What a line!

Ironing out bugs - with a #2 Iron.

Simon, if you ever run short of beer you can rely on me for several.

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Thumb Up

Friday

"Or the Duke-Nukem-is-coming website.”

my screen needs cleaning now

top stuff !!

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Pint

Laughter on a sad day

I've been to a funeral today, this simply added to the tears, but its a perfect antidote. Thanks Simon!

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Thumb Up

Bravo!

Simon, this storyline is amazing! Kudos on making my Friday's rock! :)

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Jobs Horns

Magnesium plate - brilliant!

As a former firefighter who has fought magnesium fires: BRILLIANT!!!

If I could have babies, I would name them after Simon. As I cannot, I will simply have to build a robot in its stead.

Now, bearings and diesel, where do we keep those ... ?

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Flame

Magnesium plate

“And we ‘just happened’ to have some 1mm magnesium plate ‘just laying around the office’ did we?”

Anybody seen my NeXT cube?

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Thumb Up

LOL...

Way to go Simon. THIS ONE made my day!! :-D

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Lock Stock and one smoking robot

Just brilliant!!

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Coffee/keyboard

Clueless Boss .........

.....wheels spinning in the sand...........

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Perfect

Makes my hangover feel just a bit better!

Now back to sleep in the server room....

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Stop

Hardware?

That amount of modding is dangerously close to being an engineer.

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Pint

Ever wonder -

Where the phrase "knows enough to be dangerous" came from? Well, here you go.

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Flame

Nah

just case-modding taken to extreme limits.

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Pint

sad about those bearings

But happy about that robot. Cheers!

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Pint

Excellent...

Ah Yes another wonderful Redition of Self Preservation and the Cunning masterful Way that "Good clean Fun" can be achived while leaving no clues as to the "Fun" that took place that truely shows that the good Master BOFH thinks things out as he preforms his true Duties of ensuring that No-One invades into his Domain of making money off the Boss, Lager off the PFY, and Ensured Loyality of fellow BOFHs and their PFY's on the Gobal Scale though the stories that make their way here.

Here's one of Three Pre-paid Pints Mr.Simon (your choice of brew), now i'll just grab my Coat with the Robot Blueprints and the Z-Pitch.

[AC because of work]

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Silver badge
Alien

AC is pretty pointless

since the message content pretty much gives you away, amanfromMars...

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Go

WE...

see Simon rollin'

we Lovin'

Excremetionally good show, meaning the droid firm techies have brown trousers every time they recieve a shipment.

I've forwarded the links of this yarn to our hardware supplier, have not heard from them yet <evil grin>

Cheers!

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Coat

Ahahaha AAAAHHHAHHAHHAHHAHHHAAA

Had to be said........

(Mine's the white one with the nice wraparound sleeves....)

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Dex
Pint

I'm with...

Maverick! Love the DNF FINALLY being real reference :)

You can always count on the T!

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Go

Robowar is defensive

BOFH continues defending one of his prime assets,

the cleaner !

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Pint

Simon, you sir are...

You sir are a god amongst us mortal and insignificant men. How we should bow down to your spender and behold the BOFH commandments...

1. Thou shall not out bofh the bofh

2. Simon is all knowing and dutiful to the balance of IT

3. PFY must never be given too much leverage! Keep him in his place....

4. BEER will be the funder-mental currency in which all blackmail scams are paid.

5. Lusers and bosses much pay homage to the BOFH with a large sacrifice (preferably the boss or his boss!)

6. Never give the mindless sheep any reason to dial the BOFH command Line!....

So says the BOFH!

Classic episode for a crappy day :D keep up the great work o'lord and master.

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