TomTom has updated its iPhone satnav app, introducing support for the iPhone 4's high-resolution screen but more importantly allowing you to have Darth Vader read out your directions. "He will join the M1 at junction five or die, my master." If you fear the Dark Lord of the Sith's threatening tones will distract you from your …
Better (fake) quote?
s/M25 contraflow/Hanger Lane Gyratory/
Makes more sense then.
Tha's got for't get satnav
I was holding out for a stressed sounding Welsh voice doing the directions in the style of rally pace notes. Yoda is a good enough second prize to consider trading in my sense of direction for satnav.
(Welsh Valleys accent:)
"You'll be wanting the next junction now you will. Coming up now in a minute it is."
So you're driving down a road and Lord Vader is directing you to take the next left. You miss it and instead of the "Do a U-Turn" statement, you are greeted with the chilling "You have failed me for the last time" followed by a tightness in your throat.
Let's hope they included...
That's no moon.... It's your destination.
It's a (speed) trap!
This is not the turn you are looking for.
I find your lack of faith (in my sense of direction) disturbing.
If you ignore a turn...
Does it say "I have a bad feeling about this"?
I don't want custom voices, I want clear and concise directions. This isn't a toy, it's satellite navigation.
I'd imagine these custom voices would get old very quickly so I certainly won't be buying into them.
I hate spoken directions
I've been using SatNav for over a decade, starting with a Garmin GPS3 and going through just about every model range TomTom have produced, and I love it - for someone who travels to a lot of different destinations, it's the perfect appliance of technology, easy to use, removes loads of potential stress, yada, yada, yada.
However, first thing I do with every new one I get is to disable voice prompts. When I'm driving, I want to do things as and when I decide it is safe to do so, and that incudes taking on board directions. So the unit gets mounted as close to the car's instruments as is practical, and I look at it when I want to.
My Grumpy Pants
There speaks someone who doesn't have a rubber chicken in his office. Lighten up, dude, it's a bit of fun.
Re: I hate spoken directions
Aren't you kinda missing the point of spoken directions? Spoken directions mean you DON'T have to take your eyes off the road; turning off the speech means you've got to constantly look at the device to see if there's a turning coming up, or which roundabout exit you need to take and so on. Ok, less of an issue if you're on the motorway, but invaluable around unfamiliar towns. You only need glance at the screen if there are multiple turnings close together, the rest of the time the speech is enough.
On the plus side, I guess you saved a few quid when you removed your car's stereo and sold it on the nation's favourite tat bazaar...
No, I'm not missing the point.
I am also, apparently, a nightmare to speak to on the (hands-free) phone when I'm driving, because the driving takes precedence over the conversation, such that I often stop talking mid-sentence, leave thoughts unfinished, and so on.
The car stereo, interestingly, I can cope with, although I tend to listen to stuff that doesn't require much attention.
I don't mind at all if I miss the occasional turning because I'm paying proper attention to my driving, although I have to say that happens very, very rarely, as in most cases the next turning is shown a long way in advance.
Any satnav that tells me "Meesa turnee right in two hundreddee yards" will make Humpty Dumpty look like a 10-piece kiddie's jigsaw, after me and my lump-hammer have finished with it.
Not JarJar... Anything but JarJar...
Gods, not Jar Jar. There'd be a smoking hole in it (and probably the windscreen behind it) after I got done with it.
I call the satnav I have "betty"- obstinately in reference to the voice warning systems on a good number of aircraft.
And for the advanced Starwarians
there is TomTom's R2-D2 voice, erm beep update.
Beepity beep whirr beep beep
Don't get technical with me.
I hope that...
...they include R2D2 as well!
"We can do the Birmingham run in less than 12 parsecs.........yeah, it didn't make any sense the first time I said it either."
Most "celeb" voices not of practical use
Sadly most of the TomTom celebrity voices aren't much good for practical use - there are too many "jokes" which, when repeated within moments, get annoying. Classic examples are KITT's motorway-joining and John Cleese's "you have reached your destination" - it's fine to hear it once, but when it's repeated you get the whole gag all over again. All it would take is a simple flag telling the device to not play the gag audio if it's already been played within the last few minutes - don't know why this hasn't been done already.
In terms of non-standard voices, the very best one I've found is Alan "Voice of the balls" Dedicoat (Radio 2 announcer and voice of the National Lottery show)- calm, clear, and most importantly, minimal gags. Not buying a Tomtom 1000 until I can upload him.
best clear voice
joanna lumley - but it comes with "darhling" at the end of each sentence.
A friend of mine had a GPS which allowed something similar - though user-created rather than licensed, so quality varied.
The best one was from the A-Team: "Mista T pity da foo' who don't turn right in 200 feet!"
do the Chewbacca and R2D2 tracks come with subtitles??
I want the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy voices...
"I've have a brain the size of a planet and all you want is directions to ...?"
"You want to get to ... in THIS traffic? Its hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. Don't even think about it."
"Hi, I'm Eddie, your satnav voice and I'm feeling just GREAT guys and I know I'll get a bundle of kicks out of giving you directions to wherever you want to go."
I'm not sure where you're seeing the voices capability. I'm not seeing it anywhere in the app, and the description for 1.5 doesn't mention voices at all. Where can I enable custom voices?
Jesse...as someone who has to deal with people asking stupid questions on a daily basis I think I am qualified to inform you that you should contact the manufacturer helpdesk for support or RTFM.
As for the voices...it can be fun to have a fun voice on at times but personally I quickly get bored of them. It would be interesting if you could create a favourites list and have the device play all the voices randomly. Until then I will stick with my "Female (UK) with streetnames".
Anonymous, as someone who has to deal with anonymous cowards on a daily basis, what freakin' manual are you talking about? There is absolutely no data out there suggesting TomTom is offering custom voices for iPhone. Nothing in their help section, nothing in any news release I can find. Do you even own this app?
- Apple's spamtastic iBeacon retail alerts launch with Frisco FAIL
- Submerged Navy submarine successfully launches drone from missile tubes
- Cache in the Attic El Reg's contraptions confessional no.2: Tablet PC, CRT screen and more
- Pix Astroboffins spot HOT, YOUNG GIANT where she doesn't belong
- Developer unleashes bowel-shaking KILLER APP for Google Glass