It's a tip of the hat this morning to Fox Sports, which yesterday managed to summarise the Wayne Rooney/Manchester United spat with a choice quote from the strumpet-friendly footballing Weeble: Fox Sports grab showing Rooney declaring "Later, wankers" Of course, we don't really think young Wayne said that to Alex Ferguson and …
I can't be bothered to click
But Fox would have their work cut out to explain Wayne Rooney, Alex Ferguson, Manchester United, wankers, and indeed football, using short words that won't upset their god-fearing, trailer-park friendly audience.
For one of those, the explanation is that wankers and Fox are pretty much synonymous.
...that the god-fearing, trailer-park friendly audience probably understands Derek Jeter, Joe Torre (yes, I know he's with LA now), the Yankees, jerkoffs, and indeed baseball (a sport which is intrinsically rather more complex than football/soccer) perfectly well, right? So why would they have any trouble with the British analogues with a bit of explanation? Just because you don't agree with Fox News readers doesn't mean they're all incredibly stupid.
(given the high immigrant population of the U.S., BTW, soccer/football news is more commonly available and more widely followed than you'd probably guess. Being as blinkered a Brit as you fondly imagine your targets to be blinkered Americans.)
You don't realize
"Just because you don't agree with Fox News readers doesn't mean they're all incredibly stupid."
Remember. We have the internet here too. We can watch Fox too. We know how utterly fucking hateful, retarded and full of outright lies it is. We know it is a political mouthpiece for one of the most abhorrent people on this planet.
If you feel differently, then ... well ... sorry .... but you're stupid; legally, clinically and terminally.
More acceptable in America...
...Mr Burns even called U2 "wankers" in The Simpsons' 200th episode (1998).
...And, needless to say, it's often (mistakenly?) broadcast unedited in the UK:
Re: More acceptable in America...
I always remember the episode of "Angel" with Wesley and Angel on a motorbike (Cordelia half-inched Angel's motor IIRC).
When they went to set off, Wesley presented Angel with a crash helmet, which Angel refused to wear on the grounds that it was pink and he was immortal anyway so it didn't matter. An argument ensued over the inconvenience of being stopped by the law. Matters were resolved by Wesley saying: "Stop being such a wanker and put it on.". Stress on the word "wanker" too.
As I heard it, this came about as the director wasn't happy with the script and wanted something more argument-endingly pithy. He asked Alexis Denisof for a candidate English (he worked over here for several years) epithet for someone making such a fuss over nothing. He responded: "Oh, I'd probably call him a wanker". A brief check of the "naughty words" list revealed that "wanker" wasn't on there, so in it went.
I sprayed tea all over the table in disbelief when it aired in the early evening on Sky 1.
More acceptable or not understood?
An 1978 episode of Mork & Mindy "To Tell the Truth" featured two characters with the names Arnold and Annie Wanker.
My how we laughed.
Re: More acceptable in America...
I'm convinced that at least 90% of British people who up sticks for the US deliberately set out to amuse themselves uttering phrases they could never get away with back home.
One of the (British) commentators for F1 in the USA said "[He's] bollocking down to the corner" the other week - I nearly choked on my breakfast laughing. BBC America are running a promo saying that their TV "kicks arse."
I for one take great delight in using as many British expletives as possible in front of the locals - it's almost a sport :)
RE: Re: More acceptable in America...
My sis in the States was most amused by that episode. The local kids were apparently a lot more savvy than their parents and looked it up on the Web, and then took great glee in using it in front of their unsuspecting parents. She seriously upset a coffee morning when she let the local moms in on what the word actually means!
Myths and things
There is a myth in the UK that the majority of US citizens don't know our swear words. The funny thing is that the knowledge of common British swear words are known to a lot of Americans largely because of the popular media.
The only time there is any confusion is where similar words mean different things on opposite sides of the pond. For example fanny. Fairly innocuous in the US, but guaranteed to raise a snigger if an American uses the word in it's US sense in the UK. I remember an American visitor asking a female triathlete if her bike saddle gave her a sore fanny. Confusion and red faces all round.
Generally however most US citizens are pretty savvy when it comes to common anlo-saxon vernacular. It's almost thirty years since I was last there, but even then I found that words like bollocks were known to many people.
Bigger screenshot please
You cut the advert in the bottom right off just at the wrong point. Perfect what?? From the picture it looks like sodomy but I don't think that's likely on Fox Sports.
Re: Bigger screenshot please
No can do, I'm afraid (yes it was me wot done it).
I screengrabbed that yesterday. Checking today reveals that there must be a few red faces at Fox as all evidence this ever existed has gone. Even their search returns nothing.
I'd like to add though that when I first saw this as a link and after I'd stopped pissing myself with laughter, I did make sure I closed the browser and then started a new session, typing the Fox Sports URL in manually myself, to be sure it was kosher. I also checked that the site I was looking at was fully functional. No photoshop* / fake page / redirection shenanigans were involved. Unfortunately I was a bit busy yesterday and didn't get around to chucking the resulting pic across to Lester until this AM, by which time Fox were back to their usual prissy selves.
*Bar El Reg's "blow it up large to really rub it in" of course. Nice one.
Alex Ferguson calls Rooney a "fanny".
I think this may be a case of the word not really having the same meaning in the US.
*Using the Rooney face icon*
Somebody call the Pulitzer people
"strumpet-friendly footballing Weeble"
Brilliant, just brilliant!
'Ere, lay off my handle...
The Andrex Sport...soft and very expensive.
Re: More acceptable in America...
One more to add to the collection- Phil Collins used wanker in a guest appearance on Miami Vice in the 80s.
If you want a laugh then check out Paul Hogans character Leo Wanker on YouTube- I'm sure the fire extinguishers made an appearance in IronMan
The only wanker is Mr Shrek Rooney. Wonder what he will do now? i heard that man u do not allow players to join english tems, so hopefully he will go to New Zeland or some place far far away.
Just to annoy the Rooney fans....
Rooney has been cr*p for ages, he's shown zero application not just in Man U colours but also when playing for England. I would have thought he'd be using his England appearances as a means of selling himself, so I suspect the fact that he has been rubbish playing for England too means there is a more serious underlying problem than just his wanting more cash than he gets from Fergie. If I was in the market for a striker I'd be wanting to impose performance-related pay on him as he seems to have become far too lazy to score many goals this season. Seeing as both Man City and Chelsea seem to be publicly backing away I'd say the thought it widespread.
As for those wondering the IT angle, Rooney is this weeks top search term for our networks (though he's very closely followed by searches for pics of his escort-of-choice Jennifer Thompson). Our Web admin has said he will redirect any searches for either to www.chelseafc.com, thought that may be because he's a Bolton fan.
Whilst the aspect of this sketch is scatalogically amusing,
I suspect it is related to golf.
" Perfect Tee-shot " perhaps.
Sodomy is more of an R's-shot.