back to article Handheld porn market growing fast

Apple might not like it, but smutty services for mobile phones and other devices are still growing strongly. The market for handheld filth is expected to be worth $2.8bn by 2015, up from $1.7bn in 2009. Video chat and subscription-based services will drive most of the growth, according to Juniper Research. Video chat services …

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no!

Wait, in spite of Overlord Jobs telling people that they don't want porn, they actually still want porn? I'm shocked. Don't consumers know that we don't know what we want until a company or corporation tells us what we want?

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FAIL

eh? wot?

I dont think Jobs has ever asserted that people don't wan't porn - just that he doesn't want his multi multi multi billion dollar firm involved in supplying it to them.

It's a fairly common stance among large companies making unimaginable rack-loads of cash already that a few extra million from porn isn't worth the hassle they'd get from the 'stop this filth' brigade.

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Jobs Horns

Hmmm...

I imagine the first person to market a reliable stand to support the hand held, so both hands are then free, will make a killing.

Why Steve Jobs? Well he's a w*******

+++CARRIER LOST

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Anonymous Coward

Either you're bragging excessively

or you're using that other hand to do something particularly unmentionable...

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Joke

*raises eyebrow*

@"Much of it not optimised for the mobile experience, but still more than sufficient for casual users."

What as opposed to not enough for hardcore users?! ... sounds like a recursive double entendre?!. :)

Anyway, Apple could easily target the porn market, they just have to call it the iFondle!

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@MinionZero

iFull, surely?

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Pint

Mobile smut

Back when Mobiles supported WMV, Avi, and Mpeg file downloads and native plays, it was easier. Not having those options on the iPhone hasn't made it impossible to find. Despite jobs not wanting it, apparently some device users definitely want it.

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Thumb Up

The Byline

Of this article is pure brilliance. Well done, sir. Well done. Also, please enclose funds for a new keyboard.

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The URL is even better...

<msg ends>

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You mean all of it isn't?

Doesn't almost all porn consumption involve something "handheld"?

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Gates Halo

I was always disappointed with Apple...

..ever since I found out iTouch wasn't a portable pornograph.

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Silver badge
Badgers

Uh-oh

"Video chat and subscription-based services will drive most of the growth"

Ignoring the brilliant double entendre about "growth", does this mean we'll see video chat services offering FaceTime compatibility?? I can't imagine ol' Jobs will stand for that!

Still, the iPhone fits comfortably in one hand, leaving the other hand conveniently free. I imagine we'll get a new message from his holiness instructing us "don't hold it that way - you filthy pervert"

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Bronze badge
Coffee/keyboard

best sub-headline in quite a while

[pattern of coffee spray on monitor]

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Gold badge
Coat

"Handheld" "porn"

Applause for another *lovely* headline.

I'll keep coming back for more. Err..

Can we have an "Applause" icon?

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Zap

It's always safer

It's always safer to use your hand! We have all seen the you tube videos of what happens when people use strange things like vacuum cleaners.

I know Apple has a sensor for water damage but it may need a new one for users returning their unit with sticky stuff in the orifices!

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