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back to article HABITABLE ALIEN WORLD discovered 20 light-years away!

Stargazing boffins say they have discovered evidence of a potentially habitable world orbiting a star just 20 light-years from Earth. They add that the circumstances of the discovery suggest that the galaxy may be "teeming with potentially habitable planets". Artist's conception showing the inner four planets of the Gliese 581 …

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Troll

For a title-free universe

"...before some galactic equivalent of the Germans chuck their beach-towels on all the best planets..."

Already starting to colour the map of the universe pink, Mr. Page, are we?

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Alien

I, for one...

welcome the interstellar hostile takeover bid for Bebo that's sure to be launched.

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

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FAIL

Yes, lets turn this into a political discussion, shall we?

Because the mess this country is in is in no way, shape or form related to the actions of the previous incumbent government at all, is it?

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Anonymous Coward

If not then who's?

Erm, failing to regulate immoral and bankrupt banking practices is the governments job isn't it?

I'm pretty sure it isn't mine?

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Oh fuck off

You sanctimonious half wit. As if any "previous incumbent government" (said with a sarcastic whiny voice) has ever done anything other than fuck things up worse than they were before.

Twat

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FFS

Can we not give political sniping a fucking rest?

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Oh fuck off

Be nice, now.

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re "Can we not give it a rest?"

Of course we can't. This is, after all, the internets.

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Alien

interstellar stupid ray.

"Let's all hope that any denizens of the possible, habitable Sunrise Belt of Gliese 581g - or perhaps of 581d, should it in fact be habitable - have failed to evolve beyond the level of pondlife or primitive gibbering tree-dwellers, and as such will not be offended by the Bebo drivel-blast solecism."

It is a little known fact that highly intelligent life actually was discovered on Gliese 581d some years ago, and the Bebo transmissions are actually the first interstellar weapon of mass destruction exactly intended to cause the inhabitants to un-evolve back to the level of pondlife and primitive gibbering tree-dwellers.

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Alien

Nicely written

You managed to get the science bit in as well as making me laugh/cringe. Well done!

Obligatory icon, obviously.

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Headmaster

Mercury

An otherwise fine article, but Mercury *isn't* tidally locked.

Niven's "The Coldest Place" should not be used as reference material.

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Headmaster

Sorta locked...

It's in resonance with it's orbit 3:2 iirc days to orbits.

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Joke

Government

"might also be inhabited by life more complex than the microbial forms which have been all there was on Earth for almost all the time it has been a living planet"

Why not just call them politicians?

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FAIL

Like they're the only ones

you could add bankers, talent show producers, warlords, the arms industry (sorry Lewis), everyone at Fox News, and anyone who posts on internet forums.

Oh, bugger.

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Anonymous Coward

And telephone sanitary engineers.

All in the title

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Joke

Damn.

You found me.

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Thumb Down

Bebo sent THAT into space.

There should be a law, or commission or something to stop morons, not only breeding, but also sending idiotic drivel into space. Surely what we beam into the cosmos should at least be monitored and censored to at least show the good side of humanity?

I mean come on. "Laters...." ???

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WTF?

Re: Laters....

> Our bodies are made of bones ... We have senses. Smell, Taste, Sight and Touch. Without any of these things, we wouldn't live.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I don't believe any of these senses are prerequisites for life either...

And are all Bebo users deaf? WTF do they teach kids at skool these days?

Please make them all go away.

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Headmaster

<this space for sale>

<QUOTE>I mean come on. "Laters...." ???</QUOTE>

You think the space things are pedants of the English persuasion?

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Alien

Could be worse

At least the bebo stuff is mere drivel. We could have really pissed them off by sending them 419 scams, or even the old Make Money Fa$t spam.

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419ers

At least they're funny, as opposed to just making one want to smash one's head against a wall repeatedly.

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Alien

could be MUCH worse...

Somebody could have sent them the works of Paul Neil Milne Johnstone.

Wait... It was BeBo was it? Can someone check that they didn't? Please please please say they didn't.....

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Alert

TITLETITLETITLETITLETITLETITLETITLEoh i can't be bothered anymore

actually a very exciting discovery and will be interesting to see what else is found... I do think there will be some red faces and a lot of explaining to do though when intelligent life is finally found and says a big hello to planet earth - some of them are very likely to be the ET's various governments have been strenously claiming they know nothing about for decades. what will said governments do then? admit they have been lying to everyone for 50+ years? I think that might severely dent people's general confidence in them and possibly lead to mass unrest.

i don't see any way this can be "disclosed" without seriously buggering up the power/control infrastructure in the world, which for obvious reasons, the associated parties will not allow to happen.

they need to get working on some extremely good excuses.

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Joke

slash title

>>what will said governments do then? admit they have been lying to everyone for 50+ years? I think that might severely dent people's general confidence in them and possibly lead to mass unrest.

Or they might be a new government and blame it on the previous government while simultaneously broadcasting soundbites insisting they are a "Strong and stable government", just like the one we don't have now.

At least we won't have to worry about a comet strike any more. Although I don't see why we couldn't just go to Curry's instead :P

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Welcome

might severely dent people's general confidence in...

Um..., who the hell are you talking about, everyone I've talked to has lost all confidence in Government a long time ago. Maybe your talking about the Banksters, I believe they may still have confidence that things are running properly.

Let's see, 20 Light years, that means they should just about be recieving America's Funniest Home Videos and Doogie Howser M.D. about now.

That'll send the right impression about us.

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Anonymous Coward

The Bebo message wasn't really as bad

as the 11 years of Big Brother coverage the aliens will get to watch. How cruel the "Phone lines are now closed" messages will be...

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Headmaster

Actually no..

The broadcast was particularly bad as it was a directed beam of microwaves. Prior now to its arrival you should know that its inhabitants now are but simple peaceful unicellular organisms no more andvanced that your average slime mould here on earth. Evolution has so far been stagnant due to the weak red rays from their sun and thick atmosphere.

When this broadcast arrives, it will by chance just give enough energy to one particular molecule of one particular vital enzyme or protein, say a heat shock protein or something (or whatever analogs they have) causing it to malfunction and pass on a mutation.

This mutation as you will see will be but the start. If you will, the tip of the iceberg of such a calamitous evolutionary cascade that by the time we arrive there some 50-100 years ago (depending on when exactly the Vulcans and this Zephram Cochrane dude eventually show up), we will find the whole planet inhabited by a somewhat humanoid, highly evil, and while debatably intelligent, definitely slimy, life form.

Copyright Lawyers.

(" I say we take off, and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. " Something like that's bound to be said I suspect )

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Silver badge

And they will still be charged

if they text in a vote...

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MJI
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Alien

They are probably scared of us but wondering why we haven't visited

Well they have seen the films of our spaceships.

They are probably wondering why the Enterprise hasn't visited yet.

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Grenade

+1

also, won't they be wondering when our moon is going to show up?

how ironic would it be if we have actually conquered every advanced planet within 80 lightyears decades in advance by scaring the shit out of them with transmissions of our millitary might, only to show up with no weapons wrapped in padded white suits saying "we come in peace"?

IMHO, we should be putting ion cannons and nuke launchers on the ISS.

When the invasion force gets here, it will be because Firefly got cancelled.

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Thumb Up

Agree.

Nice Firefly reference! :)

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Grenade

Firefly/Serenity

You guys are beginning to damage my calm......

(obligatory Grenade icon!)

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Don't forget Galaxy Quest.

They'll be watching it nine years from now. And they will be pretty mad when they realise that the historical documents they've been shitting themselves over for years, aren't real.

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Silver badge

Lucky for us

Any recipients (un)fortunate enough to have received and translated the messages from planet Bebo will have concluded from them that we pose no threat whatsoever. Though they may puzzle how such an obviously retarded species ever got the technology to create fire, let alone beam messages across the void.

Oh yes, one small point - you missed out a word:

>tidally locked - with one face constantly turned to its primary, like Mercury

should read "_unlike_ Mercury". it's been known since the 60's that this wasn;t the case.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Lucky for us

Thanks everyone who pointed this out - article's now been amended.

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Thumb Up

More like this please.

"As one might expect the resulting material focused on matters of interest only to mental cripples. "

I'm still giggling... nice one!

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Heart

Nicole

I bet Nicole is an 18 stone truck driver.

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Silver badge

Nicole

She's also apparently related to Malcom X. You'd think she'd be a bit more well-read.

Hey, at least she's interested in doing Broadway and likes Doctor Who. That's quite a bit better than, say, wanting to be on ...

You know, I just realized that I watch so little TV now that I can't come up with an example of a truly insipid show. I know about Huge, and Glee, and Mad Men, but those are all pretty good. Hunh.

Anyway, Broadway and Doctor Who? It could be a lot worse.

-David x

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ummm

and male too.

But, y'know, I think we're pretty happy together after all.

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Alien

Ha!

A sweaty one in a Lidl leisure suit as well

Apart from that how does Bebo waffle stand up against Vogon poetry?

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Alien

I for one

welcome our new Gliese 581 overlords....

I was actually thinking that if they had not evolved beyond pondlife then.......

wait for it..............

Beebo, facebook twatter et alii, will be right up there street !!

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FAIL

Mercury is not tidally locked

Mercury is in a 3:2 resonance with the Sun (same as Pluto and Neptune).

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Stop

Hoho

Great stuff, enjoyed reading that. Perhaps any life on that planet might perceive us as harmless morons based on the Bebo message and hold off on the interstellar shafting.

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Joke

we are the morons from outer space

This is writing instrument. P-E-N-N . Lol long live 1980s B movies.

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MrT
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Pint

Lube

mmmmm... green beer....

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Joke

A new religion is born

That transmission will probably start a new religion.

"God Bebo; we praise your interstellar word, we bow down our appendages * to you"

* I'm thinking green tentacles or similar..

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Troll

QED

"if conditions on the surface are right liquid water could perhaps exist there"

So that's that explained then.

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Boffin

Tidally powered

The big temperature differences will, even in a non rotating world, result in huge atmospheric storms and if it has surface water currents as well. I certainly wouldn't see the place as a long term colony prospect. You would likely only be able to inhabit tiny portions of it and be constantly subject to the storms.

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Troll

1.1-1.7 g

"Thus its surface gravity would be anywhere from 1.1 to 1.7 g ... quite feasible for humans to walk about in"

Speak for yourself, fitness freak. Most of your readership has enough trouble struggling to the vending machine in 1g conditions.

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