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back to article Everything Everywhere unveils contrary figures

The newly combined Orange and T-Mobile has announced its first quarterly results, with revenues and customers up or down depending how you count them. Revenue is down 4.8 per cent to £1.72bn, but that's the government's fault, and the drop in subscribers only exists if you insist on comparing to earlier this year rather than 12 …

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Anonymous Coward

Magenta

Magenta Telecom is the obvious name. One2One was a good name, although these days the domain is used by a porn site. But given that they came up with the stupid name "Everything Everywhere" they might just come up with some awful brand killing moniker instead.

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Coat

As we approach the phone event horizon...

As a society sinks into depression, the people of the society need to cheer themselves up by buying themselves gifts. This is usually done through the purchase of mobile telephones. As more money is spent on mobile telephones, more phone shops are built, and the quality of the phones begins to diminish as the demand for different types of phone increases. This makes people buy more phones.

The above turns into a vicious cycle, the end result being that other industries begin to falter.

Eventually the titular Mobile Telephone Event Horizon is reached, where the only type of store economically viable to build is a phone shop. At this point, society ceases to function, and the economy collapses, sending a world into ruin. In the case of Britain, the population forsook mobile telephones and evolved into ham radio operators.

Or something like that. Mine's the one with the starship Heart of Gold in the pocket...

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FAIL

retaining customers!

Your having a laugh arent you.

Since they upgraded me to a premier account status they have done everything in there power to lose me as a customer.

No data anywhere sir, ok we can offer you £1.50 back! I spend the best part of £10,000 a year with these muppets and when you cant connect for three days in a major UK city they offer you £1.50!

Its easier to count the days when the data network actually works rather than the outages.

More salesmen on the high street wont retain customers, perhaps a network infrastructure that wasnt made of string and plastic cups would do the job!

Fail, like the Orange Notwork

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WTF?

… so switch to a more reliable operator!

Perhaps you should switch to T-mobile, which has been working very well for me, both data and voice, for years.

In fact, why on earth haven't you switched away already, if you find Orange's service to be so bad? There are several others to choose from.

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Thumb Down

@… so switch to a more reliable operator

RTFA - Orange and T-Mobile are now merged into Everything Everywhere. What good would it be for the OP to move from Orange to T-Mobile? Do you really think the merger will drag Orange's CS up to the level you have had with T-M? Synergy usually implies it going the other way!

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Paris Hilton

I guess you work for EDS with advice like that!

Switch to T mobile, part of EE? nice idea.

You think your T mobile service is going to get better with the merger or worse?

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Branding

I believe for a while at least, the two will be "Orange, an Everything Everywhere company", and "T-Mobile, an Everything Everywhere company". That is, until they've got enough brand awareness of "Everything Everywhere" to ditch the two fronts.

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FAIL

A possibility

At a staff meeting today it was suggested that they should replace Everything Everywhere with No Signal, Anywhere as their name given the experience we have had working with T-Mobile over the last year

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Badgers

I've said it before and I'll say it again

T-MOrange.

(say it quickly.)

I will chuckle away when the day comes where, once the "Everything Everywhere" branding 2.0 has been foisted upon us for so long, people just abbreviate it to " I'm on E" when asked what mobile network they use

Honestly I think they should stick with T-Mobile, it has a better brand image and customer service reputation than Orange (which I think you will find is almost universally dismal). Second only to Three in terms of rubish after-sales service.

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FAIL

Competition?

So at a stroke, the number of operators in the UK reduces from 5 (Voda,Orange,T-MObile,3,O2) to 3 (Voda,O2,EE). I know 3 is still notionally separate, but if it loses control of its network, it will have its margins squeezed, and then it will be a matter of time.

OFCOM (sorry, Ofcom) must have been well-greased ot let than one through.

30p/minute here we come!

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FAIL

Could become 2

IIRC there was some discussions between Voda and O2 on a network sharing agreement - a bit like the original agreement between Three and T-Mobile. Not sure if it went anywhere, but it all went quiet so hopefully wont happen.

Where is the double fail icon?

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