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back to article Voice of America chap ejaculates over Paris Hilton

Our revelation last week that the US of A will attempt to win Middle Eastern hearts and minds by pumping out a weekly celebtastic show featuring the antics of Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and Britney Spears didn't go down too well at the Voice Of America. It appears we were too quick to condemn Splash News and Pictures' …

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Badgers

Pop Culture?

A large interest in American Pop Culture does NOT mean they are in favour of it.

Honestly, where do they find these muppets?

POP - Pretty Obviously Purile/Pointless/Pathetic.

Badgers, for no other reason than I like Badgers.

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Oy vay

"...attempt to win Middle Eastern hearts and minds by pumping out a weekly celebtastic show featuring the antics of Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and Britney Spears"

That'll go down well with the clerics. I can't imagine many things that'll have a more polarizing effect on Islamic cultures.

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Troll

Primary objective fail

“present a balanced and comprehensive projection of significant American thought and institutions.”

I'm sorry, I thought that the primary objective was to make the peoples of other countries like America?

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Happy

Once again Lester...

Thanks for making my day!

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FAIL

LOL

What moral VOA has to make such a supid comment?

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Joke

furry front bottom???

that's like so 1980's

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Thumb Up

Precisely

Kudos for using both Front Bottom and Grumble flick in the same article. 2 Sets of words guaranteed to amuse the 14 yr child in me.

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(Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

Re: furry front bottom???

I know. I'm so old I can almost remember what one looks like.

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Joke

Re: Furry Front Bottom

I thought most of them come totally depilated nowadays

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For a moment I read...

... Vice of America.

But it seemed an unlikely singular.

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Paris Hilton

It's a cunning plan, I tell you!

They're not aimed at defusing potential al-Qaeda suicide bombers. They're designed to make them go off prematurely.

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Silver badge

Speaking as a Yank & (sometime) world traveller ...

About the only thing I ever found useful about the VOA was the occasional baseball broadcast. In my mind, the VOA is a caricature off all that's bad about American broadcasting.

And that is saying a lot, innit.

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Anonymous Coward

A long time ago in a land far far away

Well, Edinburgh late 80s.

I was back on campus during the holiday's to catch up on some lab work ( ie a sort of practical resit as a result of wasting too much term time on Gauntlet)

My only comfort in the evenings on a effectively shut down site in my room on campus was a radio. The only two stations I could pick up effectively were VOA and radio Luxembourg.

Despite the fading in and out and the endless repeats of adverts for foot powder, the latter just about kept me sane. The former did nothing for my understanding of the USA.

(At some level that story sums up how I wasted my university years, and I do mean wasted)

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Unhappy

VOA is no BBC International

VOA is stultifying, boring, broadcasting by committee. It is only bettered by the commercial religious transmissions for power wastage.

These religious types are running 500,000 watt transmitters in the AM band in the Philippines to China and VietNam where the most popular receivers are FM! Same with VOA, except they use shortwave.

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Wow!

Gentlemen, I think we have ourselves the first cat fight between the Register and the American government. This could run and run (hopefully)

Let's hope Lester didn't have any plans to visit the Land of the Free any time soon.

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Paris Hilton

VOA has an obligation to report on it, explain it and give it context.

Or, they could take the higher road and not give Paris and her associates the publicity they crave.

I can't wait to hear how Paris is explained and given context.

//who else but...

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Paris Hilton

Butthurt, Vacuous, Gossip-Pedaler is Butthurt

LOL it amazes me how dropout scum that get paid from wittering on about inane celebtards behaviour can become so defensive and angry when their vapid way of life is challenged in the slightest manner. I especially enjoy how he has tried to justify his pathetic reports with such an attempted argument, that at first sounds very forthright, but then you are remided about the shallow content of what he is banging on and pity this lifeless cretin. It's hilarious that he thinks commentary of Lady GaGa's latest twitter post requies "editorial judgement" roflmao ect.

Paris because she gets butthurt regularly.

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Black Helicopters

bunch of arse

VoA is a propoganda tool of the CIA. And do they really think this dross will help in "The War Against Terror" (T.W.A.T.) More likley to prove the point that the United States are in fact the great satan and utterly devoid of positive attributes.

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Paris Hilton

First time for everything

This must be the first time Paris Hilton has found herself associted with "significant American thought".

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Joke

Not quite

If I recall she did a thoughtful election video during the last campaign

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And

Of course, Paris Hilton being top of the pile in Hollywood.

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Paris Hilton

Butt...

Top of the pile? The shag pile, I presume.

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Anonymous Coward

"Balanced"

I wonder if he had to check the spelling for that before writing the email, because I doubt it's a word many staff at VOA have encountered often. If they have, they evidently decided not to let it pollute their programming, most of which resembles what would happen if you left the Tellytubbies in charge of Fox News for a year.

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Unhappy

I am afraid...

...that the last paragraph of the article pretty much sums up 90% of today´s media. And I am not talking USA only. The remaining 10% are hobby magazines and El Reg.

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FAIL

re: "I am afraid..."

Bollocks to you mate.

Last I checked, BBC Radio 4 was neither of those, with better news, current affairs, drama, satire and angry commentards than almost anywhere else.

If you will insist on consuming Sky/ITV/Fox/CNN/wutevars, then you get what's coming to you.

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Silver badge

and Bollocks to you too

if you consider R4 all that, what with its moral maze, thought for the day, woman's hour, etc. it's pathetic OTT drama (all performed by actors who haven't sussed that real people don't sound like that, screenplay by people that ditto), and its 'let's poke it with a stick' newscasters (including that silly cow caroline quinn who can't for the life of her work out the difference between asking a hard sensible question and giving someone a hard time), and their obsession with the minutiae of westminster politics ('red gobshite said pointless X about the opposition but blue gobshite responded vacuous Y and we'll have an interview with the both of them later because floods in pakistan are getting booooooring'). And their science program? Have you listened to the shallowness of it, larded with 'jokes'?

It's news is ok, its comedy is outstanding, that's about all I have to say. Then again, familiarity breeds contempt and I *have* seen fox news but I guess my brain actively tries to wipe the memory out of mercy, so my recollection is fuzzy.

Flame on.

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FAIL

re: Bollocks

Agreed squire...

R4 lefty fascist bollocks... All of it.

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Headmaster

Did he really write

"...indicate an large interest..." or was that a typo?

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Anonymous Coward

Probably

He probably did write "an large interest". It's something I've come across in stupid people. Many people think that because "an interest" is correct the letter "n" should remain even if you stick an adjective between "an" and "interest". It's because they don't realise what the "n" is there for.

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Definitely...

...given the grammar in the rest of his email.

"...people who come from the regions VOA broadcasts are directed."

Missing an "in which".

"to be ensure standards are maintained."

Should be "to be sure" or "to ensure", surely.

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Paris Hilton

"significant American thought"

Just beautiful. I have been snorting and snuffling with repressed giggling at this article - a great mix of unintentional irony and traditional smut.

Poke them again, go on. I want to hear them talk about Ms Hilton some more.

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Where's Ms Bee?

She needs to explain the other meaning(s) for "ejaculate."

The same way she explained yesterday -- in the article about the Playboy centerfold -- that a "stiff one" sometimes means something other than an alcoholic beverage.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Where's Ms Bee?

Sorry! Here I am! Using the word 'ejaculate' to describe an effusive verbal outpouring is funny because 'ejaculate' also means 'to spunk everywhere', do you see?

Ha! I'm glad we all understand. Wordplay is fun.

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Anonymous Coward

V.O.A. 0 - Lester Haines 1

Excellent use of the phrase "furry front bottom". We should see more of it.

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Thumb Up

Enthusiastic thumbs up!

Love the commentary. :-)

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Wonderful!

Oh bugger! For one beautiful moment I thought it must be Friday.

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Happy

The Weeks Headlines...

are your friend. For me, it IS Friday

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Pirate

really?

"Hollywood, its celebrities and American media are among the United States’ largest institutions and exports. "

Really? That would explain a lot. I thought we were known for Democracy, Science, Industry, and Agriculture, and all this time we're really just famous for producing pictures of whores and weirdos. I've never been so proud of my country as now...

meh.

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Vic
Silver badge

Our fiends across the pond...

> I thought we were known for Democracy, Science, Industry, and Agriculture

Well, you're known for Science, Industry, and Agriculture...

Vic.

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Happy

Democracy, Science, Industry, and Agriculture...

More like science and agriculture these days... most things you can find in the US is made somewhere in Asia. And the rest sucks.

Although come to thing of it European agriculture is more productive actually so make it just science. And Japan and various European countries might have an objection there, too.

OK, so you're really famous for an aggressive military approach of international affairs, commercial cinema, and finance.

And software/ITservices. (Also hardware? As seen in Boston last week: "Boston is home of the first computer in the world (MIT)". Yeah, you keep telling you that.)

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Pirate

I dunno

I've been taking welding classes of late (midlife crisis, I think, as IT is getting brain-numbingly boring to me), and we still make good welding machines here in the US. Better than the stuff from China, at least. Although I don't doubt the best welders probably come from the Swiss or Germans, but, as the instructions aren't in American English, we can't use them. heh.

And our "aggressive military approach" has a purpose. We pay scads of money in taxes which are used to buy weapons and we want to see those weapons USED, not rusting away in storage. Our Constitution pretty much precludes us from using them on ourselfs, so...

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Pirate

ah

point taken.

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Thumb Up

Another one bites the dust

Yet another *tard trolled by Bootnotes ... Bootnoted. Or is it Lestered? LesHained? Registered?

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Happy

I don't think we get enough coverage of these

'howling Lesbian prison gang ordeals' you report Lindsay Lohan undergoing.

Do you have a white paper on this?

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Anonymous Coward

Do you have a white paper on this?

Yes but its a sticky tissue...

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Happy

Do you have a white paper on this?

Damn someone beat me to it

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Gold badge

@Lester

You sir...you are fantastic.

Keep 'em coming.

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