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back to article Two-lane BRIDGE FOUND ON FAR SIDE OF THE MOON!

In blockbusting news, a NASA spacecraft has discovered a bridge wide enough to carry a two-lane road on the far side of the Moon. A bridge on the Moon near the King Crater. Credit: NASA/GSFC/Arizona State University Not so good for playing pooh-sticks. Images sent back by the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter (LRO) as it sailed …

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FAIL

Really? Really Really???

I want fricking aliens with fricking laser beams. And don't come back until you find em!

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Humans?

"Though President Obama has lately said that humans will not return to the Moon as had been intended"

Is El Reg suggesting that Chinese people aren't human?

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Joke

More likely

suggesting that as no-one else is heading back to the moon, the Chinese have no-one to copy for plans. So it'll take them ages to manage it...

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Joke

true

but the lack of a requirement to plan for a return trip will make the task easier....

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Alien

Those sneaky moonites!

This would make a great hideout for potential alien invaders. If that ever happens it will c-rater riot!

Badoom tsh!

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Black Helicopters

It's being built for moonbase Schwatz Sonne!

"Disappointingly, the lunar bridge and tunnel discoveries aren't considered to be the work of escaped Nazis - perhaps having fled the collapsing Third Reich in an early rocket ship developed from the V2 missile programme"

Rockets are so last year!, everyone knows the Nazis developed anti gravity and hence the Hannebau flying saucer series.

Get ready to kick some Nazi ass:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeAfoiN5SDw&feature=player_embedded

http://www.ironsky.net/site

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Alien

Of all the conspiracy theories

the Nazi-flying saucer is my favourite!!

But the Hannebau and Vril type saucers don't work on anti-gravity. Rather, they use the Earths magnetic field to sort of float on. Simple really, all you have to do is misunderstand the works of Tesla and it also helps if you don't know quite a lot about electro-magnetism.

But then it's easy to understand the Nazi's where the first on the moon.

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Black Helicopters

More Nazi flying saucers

A German friend of mine sent me this link:

http://discaircraft.greyfalcon.us/HAUNEBU.htm

This coupled with the super secret videos cunningly hidden on YouTube prove it must be true, lmao!

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Vorsprung durch Realtechnik.

The Nazis *did* have a working flying saucer. It was a ducted fan VTOL craft, though, and never made it beyond the (top secret) prototype stage. The invading Allies (the US, to be precise) took this work in progress back home and commissioned Avro to continue research and development - again, under top secrecy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_disc-shaped_aircraft

Of course, while they did try to keep the test flights top secret as well, people did witness and report them. And one of the first pieces of disinformation that the government deployed in order to misdirect attention was - you guessed it - extraterrestrial origin. They also began creating more secluded centres where they could test such aircraft - such as Area 51.

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WHAT?? You mean no-one noticed ... PHARAOH'S FACE?

Look closely at the small picture on the upper right! Could NOT be MORE obvious!

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Happy

Move along, nothing to see here

It's the Clangers. Pretty certain it isn't the Klingons. They live on Uranus.

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Joke

They live on Uranus.

They might live on yours but not mine !

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FAIL

Nothing more than...

Provocation and shennanigans by those pesky Clangers and their accomplice "Soup Dragon".

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MJI
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Go

We need closeups

Come on space agencies, time to investigate

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small tunnelling robotic mole-cruisers?

Or some bespacesuited badgers?

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Happy

What is that glining at the bottom of the hole?

It looks like Thunderbird 3 to me...

Pool's dried up though.

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Joke

Glining?

Who's had my 't' then...

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Alert

@hplasm

I reckon it's a WWII bomber.

Quite obviously the Star was right all along with their "WWII BOMBER FOUND ON MOON!" headline.

The fact that it's still there and has just been moved a bit proves that their subsequent headline "WWII BOMBER ON MOON DISAPPEARS!!!!!"* was misleading, so tabloid journalism standards are intact.

*Something like that. There might have been more exclamation marks.

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Anonymous Coward

ok a bridge

will it make easier to get to work in the morning?

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Alien

UK Space Race

This bridge is clearly the result of the UKs involvement.

Taking all the traffic from the moon superhighway, and routing it through a 2 lane single carraigeway.

No doubt to please the environmentally minded Mooninites, while holding up the commuters in lunar buggies, and taxing them to the hilt.

If the US was involved, it would be a 10 lane freeway bridge.

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Anonymous Coward

clearly

the work of the Toast King.

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Welcome

Where

are the toll booths?

I for one welcome our new alien civil engineers.

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Coat

Bus Depot

If you look very closely, you can just see a bus parked under there!

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Nope -

it's Phil Mitchell new car repair business. I knew they'd find him sooner or later.

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FAIL

Meters?

"the bridge is approximately 7 meters wide on top and perhaps 9 meters on the bottom side, and is a 20 meter walk for an astronaut to cross from one side to the other".

Gas meters? Water meters?

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Go

Meter meters

Oh c'mon, lad. NASA is finally trying to get a grasp on international metric units. Don't spoil them with spelling pedantry.

Usually they express themselves in feet, two kinds of miles and the size of Texas.

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Coat

President Obama says...

....it's a bridge too far.

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Thumb Up

I want one !

"Small tunnelling robotic mole-cruiser"

Sounds like a really cool thing to have.

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Pint

Local lifeforms

Could the clangers have built it?

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Black Helicopters

Honestly

"No, the NASA selenologists think rather that the formations occurred as lava flowed away from beneath them in the past, leaving solid tunnel roofs (and in this case a bridge) still in position above the vacated space. "

Sheesh, I'm insulted. They think we'll swallow any old crap NASA tries to sell us these days, don't they? Lava flows, pfah. Anyone know a good supplier for industrial quantities of tin foil?

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Happy

MOOMINS!!!

Dear little critters have industrialised!

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Troll

Watch out for those Lunar Trolls!

The smallest astronaut is the first to cross the bridge and the troll leaps out and threatens to eat him up. He convinces** the troll that there's not much meat on him but and that the next astronaut is fatter.....

**obviously a lot of signing would have been involved there.

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h 6
Happy

Not so good for playing pooh-sticks.

Thank you.

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Happy

Seconded

Pooh-sticks and baby donkeys. This is a good day.

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the networks of underground tunnels

Can you have overground tunnels?

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Bronze badge

overground tunnels

Why can't one have overground tunnels?

I always enjoyed running around in the big concrete pipes on building sites before they were put in the ground. Are they not overground tunnels? My children have an expandable tunnel that they like to play in.

Then there are the short tunnels that lead one through rocky outspurs on coastal roads. We can haggle over the definition of «ground» but I'm sure that you see my point.

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Coat

It's definitely American..

Obviously, a Bridge To Nowhere!

Coat Please!

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Alien

Dholes

No, not the cute dog-like animals, the other ones.

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Coat

All sing together:

Like a bridge over troubled craters...

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If you flip the picture 180 degrees*

That looks like a face; a mind flayer , I believe.

Then I find if I zoom in on the left eye socket, the skull of some unnamed thing with horns (one is visible). At a slightly higher zoom level, an animal resembling a kitten** can be seen climbing out of the right hand eye socket.

*or stand on your head.

**I first thought it was the things teddy bear; had to go almost to the pixel level to be certain that it wasn't.

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Go

Base in a Lava tube

This reminds me of Kim Stanley Johnson's notion of sealing & pressurising lava tubes to make underground bases in Green Mars.

Looks like the roof of this one may need a bit of work, but at least we have an entrance.

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I had mulled this dilemma before posting

but concluded that pipes on a building site are still pipes until they are put into the ground. Then depending on their size can be either pipes or tunnels.

Road tunnels on coastal roads etc are tunnels because they are underground.

The ELC tunnel is not a tunnel at all as it's a tube.

Thee. I feel better now.

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