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back to article It's alive! Duke Nukem Forever breaks out of vapour trail

Duke Nukem Forever is the video games world's equivalent of the flying car: mothballed in the garage. Twelve years in the making, this infamous slice of vapourware is set to for release in 2011. Really. Take-Two Interactive, the publisher, even issued a press release today announcing its impending release so it must be true. …

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Silver badge
Joke

Yeah right

In which part of the world is it the equivalent of April Fools Day today?

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Happy

That was my first thought

Is this april 1?

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Anonymous Coward

ALWAYS BET ON DUKE

There's an old photo on the internet of a recipt for a preorder of this game. We need to find out if the guy still has it and if he gets his game. I'm counting on you El Reg!

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Gold badge

Horsemen.

I hear Horsemen.

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IT Angle

Not just yet

You have to hear the lamb breaking the seventh seal first. Didn't I just hear some baaa coming from the street... Oh wait...

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Coat

Just Horsemen?

How's that sound?

"Hey, where're the horses?"

"Uh, that mean-looking dude with the sunglasses shot 'em all..."

"Muthafu-- Hey Pestilence, back up, your sores are weeping on my wing-tips man."

/etc

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About time

But still no proper video, I missed the live feed from PAX10

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Didn't work anyway

The live feed didn't work anyway. Apparently they had 'technical difficulties', plus the trailer isn't ESRB rated yet, but is pretty naughty (as you'd expect).

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Silver badge

It will kinda kill some of the jokes, though.

DNF will actually be released before everyone's transitioned to IPv6.

But then again, Starcraft 2 actually got released before DNF.

The really good joke is that there's a pretty good chance that most current-gen console owners have never, ever heard about Duke Nukem.

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ehhh? wassat you say boy? the Dukes back ?

I really want this to work but I wont be suprised if it's sanitised to hell and winds up in the bargain bucket a few weeks after its launch :(

The original was a riotous mix of violence and non-pc humour that only us old farts could love.

I live in hope but wont be surprised when I'm disappointed.

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Happy

I have a dream.....

That one day, the young gamers of today will chortle at "Suck it down, baby!" Can't wait to hear how wound-up the Mary Whitehouse types get. The distributors can get a shedload of publicity just by announcing that they're keeping the non-PC bits in.

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Thumb Up

shake it baby and come get some

after being addicted to Duke 3d in the mid to late 90's , I wanted this in 2000.

Is Drew Cullen "some bottom feeding scum sucking algae eater" for getting my geriatric hopes up . ( I was a young man when this was meant to be released )

Drew, if this is a false story I hope you will "rip of the head, and shit down the neck" of whoever is peddling the lies.

I just knocked over my zimmer frame in excitement.

Will my pension stretch to purchase this so I can relive my youth? and do I still care ? maybe .. just a bit too much ;)

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Gearbox?

Wow, so maybe Aliens: Colonial Marines will get released too? It's only 9 years late and being made by the same company!

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Thumb Up

It's time to kick ass and chew gum...

and I'm all out of gum.

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Did Not Finish no longer

I spent many years waiting for this game, in my youth!

still, slightly quicker than a guns n' roses album and a lot more likely to be bought.

come get some

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Bronze badge
Stop

Just another cynical response.

I won't be holding my breath.

I'll wait for the release time for people to say it either doesn't have a map builder, or it's a cost extra.

I'll wait for them to say the Australian version will be sanitised to hell (like the fuckers did the last time).

I'll wait for them to say you need a constant internet connection to make the thing work.

I'll wait for the cracked version to appear two weeks later, before I don't bother downloading that either.

Bah, who cares. I'm all over it.

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Boffin

It don't really matter

You're gonna find out for yourself...

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Halo

Um ,wait. I thought Master Chief was the Duke?

http://godmode.keenspot.com/d/20070924.html

Still, after waiting all this time this game had better be truly and totally awesome, or there will be blood. Real blood. With real vomit.

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Silver badge

Sir

Master Chief has to wear armour...nuff said.

Smoke 'em if ya got 'em.

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Coat

Ain't got time...

...to play with myself!

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Coat

Is this the same Take Two that published Battlecruiser 3000AD?

Er, renowned for being released in pretty much alpha-form and full of bugs, then ending up making money only for the lawyers as the Derek Smart and Take-Two entered legal fisticuffs? *cough* not difficult considering the personalities involved. *cough* Er, also renowned for being very delayed? Maybe it's their specialty.

Yep that's mine with the original box of Battlecruiser 3000AD, I'm hoping it will be worth something one day.

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Grenade

Thanks a lot, Gearbox

I rather wish they'd stop bothering the corpse. With over a decade of hype, this had better be one damn awesome game. I'd prefer no game to some travesty, but if they're gonna do it, let's see what they got.

Daikatana suddenly springs to mind.

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Bah!

"Daikatana suddenly springs to mind."

Dammit you beat me to it! I find it hard to believe that this came could possibly live up to the hopes and dreams of all of us old Duke fans. And if it doesn't have the Build editor, then pah! I'm waiting with eager anticipation for all the yoofs who think they've 'discovered' Duke Nukem...

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Troll

Riiiiight...

I call shenanigans!

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Heart

c...c...could it be true ?

ooooh my heart,... please be strong, this could be another lie !!

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Silver badge
Happy

Re: Daikatana

No, you have to give it's full, sanctimonious title - "John Romero's Daikatana". It's like the M&S ad - this isn't just any Daikatana...

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Grenade

For consoles?

For consoles?

Fuck me.. if the enemies are all retards and the controls are fucked I will punish people. This sould be a PC only gem.

That said, Mafia 2 is ok on PC..

Now.. where's my gum?

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Silver badge

Oh ye of little faith

After all, Alien vs Predator turned out just peachy didn't it? There's even people still playing it - both of them.

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Vapourware

Don't come close to record for long wait for a release?

Xanadu?

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Thumb Up

Your ass is grass...

....and I've got the weed whacker!

Awsome.

I can't wait until I can: Come get some

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Stop

PS3, XBox 360 and Window PC formats

Eh? What about the ZX Spectrum, VIC-20, and Jupiter Ace versions that were originally announced?

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I would post a comment but I...

... Don't have time to play with myself

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Flame

Randolf Richardson

You know, even if they actually do release this in stores, nobody's going to believe it.

http://www.lumbercartel.ca/

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Gates Horns

Sub-zero temperatures down below

"Fancy doing another black slope, Satan?"

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Thumb Up

Diablo 3 next?

I really hope this is true and all I need now is a concrete release date for Diablo III and that will make my year.

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Erm

Heard it all before, like someone else said its been over hyped for far too long. I bet its a big steaming pile of crap. But what do we do if it actually is released? What will we then ridicule and use a bench mark to indicate just how likely a release date is going to be?

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Bronze badge

Yes, but...

Previously it was hyped by a development house run by geeks. Now it's being hyped by a published run by businessmen.

3D Realms never gave themselves deadlines, and a dev without a deadline will never finish.

Take Two will have set the deadlines and will be forcing the devs to finish on time.

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Thumb Up

I just found my 'Kill-A-Ton' collection

Hmmm... Three CDs of Duke Goodness might get me through.

Now to just pull out the old laptop.

"Looks like cleanup on isle 4."

Schweet.

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Boffin

My only concerns now...

First concern: the price. StarCraft II took 8 years and costs as much as a blu-ray disc release of a game that was only 3 years in the making (*cough*FinalFantasyXIII*cough*). Given that DNF took 5 years more, wouldn't it cost around 38% more? And given SCII's ridiculous price (RM250? I didn't even pay close to that for Final Fantasy XIII, and that was a blu-ray title!)

Second concern: the DRM. It better not be one that screws up my hard disk intermittently.

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Price

The development costs from the original developers are irrelevant, what matter to the current ones is how much they paid at the bankruptcy court to get the rights and whatever 3drealms had done.

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PAX Demo

I was at PAX and the line for the Demo was up to 5 and a half hours long! Needless to say I didn't play it...

The people that I talked to to that had played it suggested it was very playable.

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Review here

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1968-Viewers-Choice-Duke-Nukem-Forever

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Console version

I have a PS3 and a PC, and I'll be getting the console version. And I'm old enough to remember Duke Nukem games before they went 3D.

There are too many issues with high end PC games these days. At least with the console you know it'll work out of the box without driver issues, insane system requirements and DRM-from-hell. (Plus, once all my games are console versions, I can finally get rid of Windows).

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WTF?

Hesitant

On one hand, I want more of the Duke just as I remember him; on the other, not being able to use DNF as the benchmark for infinity will be hard to adjust to.

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Thumb Down

The original can't be beaten, not in todays society.

I have the original running on my N900. Been playing for months and all those corny one liners are awesome, with the corny links to star wars (luke in hoth) independence day (the ship in hangar) indiana jones hanging and of course the car chase of O J Simpson on the TV. Even the duke burger store with dog kennels underground.

...but I bet all the genre links and icons of the times won't be there. Lets face it instead of luke skywalker upside down in a hidden cave, we would get some tw@ from 'twilight' or worse a harry potter reference, instead of something like the OJ simpsons car chase it will be Big brother or X factor. And political correctness will remove anything that might be construed as dodgy.

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