Mexican telco exec: iPhone 4 antenna fix imminent
Well obviously...
On 30th September, Jobs will reveal Apple's new product: 31st September, iDay, the first e-day, a day only available to Apple users. This will be the annual launch day for the Pro versions of Apple kit, or as non-believers call them, the fixed ones.
If you don't have piles of spare cash to flush down the lavvy on overpriced fripperies, don't worry. In a few years time, Microsoft will roll out version 3 of December 32nd. Version 1 will have crashed beyond all recovery at about 11am and version 2 will only be available in brown and puce. But, with version 3, the rest of us will be able to join in.*
*Service patches will be released every 2 hours. For reasons of national security and to protect children, nuns and small furry animals, everything you do on an e-day will be monitored by the government. You may enjoy your e-day to an 'unlimited' extent, which is to say that the limits placed on your enjoyment are available from your e-day vendor, if you can get through to customer service (calls cost £2 per min, average wait, 3hrs, but then it is 4am in Delhi). Enjoyment beyond the limits of fair use will result in castration. You do not own your e-day, despite paying for it, and may not have a birthday upon it. 32nd December will be available for only 4 years, after which time it will be replaced by another day of Microsoft's choosing, with a ridiculous toolbar that ruins breakfast. Continued use of an obsolete e-day will lead to prosecution on copyright grounds. E-days will not be available in some rural areas, although you might get an e-hour if you are lucky. They will however, be available in Birmingham, as the government will abolish whatever scant public services still remain to fund a direct, super-fast, hard-wired e-day provision link for that city. No we don't know why either. Maybe they have a granny who lives there.
