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back to article IT engineer fights spider with improvised flamethrower

An IT engineer who attempted to dispatch a spider with an improvised flamethrower ended up on the wrong end of his own can of deodorant, the Sun reports. Dad-of-two Chris Welding, of Clacton-on-Sea, Essex, explained: "It was about 10.30pm last night. My wife was getting ready for bed and suddenly she let out a scream. She said …

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Flame

the old trick eh?

I do this all the time. Most recently to dispatch a large amount of wasps which had congregated in my kitchen one morning after the light had been left on all night. There were nine of the little bastards. Nine!

Anyway, I burst in there with a can of my girlfriend's hair spray, a yellow Clipper and a pair of sunglasses and sent all those stripey fuckers to hell.

Worked a treat.

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Stop

I wouldnt encourage this

You could do yourself some damage and be nominated for the Darwin awards. I hope you're not being for real!

I'm not a spiders rights activist thought btw, I couldn't care a less about them.

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*chortles*

"I burst in there with a can of my girlfriend's hair spray, a yellow Clipper and a pair of sunglasses and sent all those stripey fuckers to hell"

That, Mr envmod, should be a tagline from the next Tarantino flick. :)

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Joke

"sent all those stripey fuckers to hell"

You sadistic anti-vespite!

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Flame

Win!

I salute your action in the service of humankind.

The only good wasp is one that's done to a crisp, doused in chemical death or smeared very thinly between two surfaces.

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The only good bug is a dead bug

Would you like to know more?

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Flame

Dare to dream!

Only thing works better is a can of starting fluid. I know, because I've had 1 1/2 eyebrows for the last 20 years.

I chose the flame because it went with the theme of the thread.

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Seconded

In our loft, clad head to toe in motorcycle gear, 3 wasps nests, thousands of wasps, 2 cans of Right Guard. Got bonus points for not burning down the house and not passing out from the fumes and falling through the loft hatch.

Player 1 wins.

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Paris Hilton

Hopefully...

...he's only doing that newfangled Game Programming Engineer stuff.

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Oh, no...

Two burnt fingers and a burned knuckle - and a call to the emergency services? No wonder NHS is going bust.

And, Chris, welding, ur doing it rong!

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Happy

Sorry, couldn't risk :o)

And, Vladimir, spelling, ur doing it rong! [sic]

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Oh, am I?

http://cheezburger.com/aniela/lolz/View/936827648

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Grenade

amateur

I regularly use a can of Raid and a Zippo to dispatch unwanted arachnids. Can't say I've ever suffered any blow back.

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Flame

Raid AND a Zippo?

"Raid kills bugs dead" would imply that the Zippo might not be entirely neccessary. Or advisable.

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Anonymous Coward

To paraphrase Graham Chapman

There's nothing more dangerous than a wounded mosquito.

Raid & a lighter? Bravo!

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Flame

There's a...

"P" missing from his name.

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Headmaster

Roger Moore...

... used the spraycan flamethrower on a snake. Sean Connery despatched the spider with his shoe - like a real man.

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Anonymous Coward

Welding?

Shirley that's a made up name.

Lucky he didn't set fire to the bathroom.

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Two fire crews and an ambulance?

For a couple of small burns? Why the fuck was so much time and money wasted on some guy who had an owie?

"In case he inhaled some fumes" is not an answer, by the way, unless they're now using a new propellant which suddenly turns into radioactive thallium. I know, and have read of, many people who have done similar (including myself, many times during my teens) with absolutely no ill effects -- so to my mind taking him in on the off chance something very very rare happened is akin to taking someone random off the street to hospital just in case they're about to have a heart attack.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Two fire crews and an ambulance?

> "Why the fuck was so much time and money wasted on some guy who had an owie?"

I'll bite. Someone called 999 and asked for either an ambulance or advice on what to do about a burn. The first thing the handler's going to ask is what the cause was, and when the user says something along the lines of "it was caused from a sheet of fire that came from the bathroom" before hanging up you can imagine their response. 999 has to respond to *every* call, even if it's blatantly a prank call or a waste of time. The fire engines were probably sent because it sounded serious and they needed to guarantee the Health & Safety of the ambulance staff.

Personally, If I were the dispatcher I think i'd be making a quiet deal with the police to dispatch police officers to as many calls as humanly possible under any pretence (like them being faster responding and first aid trained, whatever) I'm sure they could make themselves useful by making arrests for "wasting police time".

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Anonymous Coward

Services havin' a field day

Beats sitting at the station the entire boring night, no? A bit of because we can, maybe? Or is it more sinister, and are we that coddled into incompetence by our (technology|government|...)? Something for the tin hat brigade to stew over.

Anyway, personally I leave spiders be if they keep to themselves, or grab them their thread or perhaps "utilizing" a bit of paper or cloth to catch them, then shoo them out the window. Keep'em at arm's length, for they aren't my friends but they are useful. No need to get scared about that.

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very excessive..

I wouldn't have even bothered calling 999 at most just NHS helpline if any advice necessary.. In my youth have had tons of incidents... dumbest of all while bbq in a cave we see a small hole which we couldn't see the end of so numties the lot of us, decide to .. "lets chuck some diesel into it and light it to see how far it goes.." 3 of us standing on top while one of us lights the match... 6 burned eyebrows later... duh... (seem to recall serious amounts of vodka also involved...). Cannot imagine hair spray being worse than this though.. bit of toothpaste on the burn and bob'd be his uncle - use sainsburys basics for 17p a tube and apply liberally.

If they came out at all even, they probably just came to have a laugh and see a numty!!. if it's policy to go out then I want a refund on my taxes please cause that's just stupid...

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@Anonymous Coward, Tuesday 31st August 2010 22:41 GMT

You scenario does sound plausible -- but if that is what happened then:

A) The guy is a pathetic, time-whasting, wimpy arsehole for calling 999 because his pinky was sore.

b) I hope to fuck he had to pay for the time of the ambulance and fire crew as people do when they cause car accidents.

I still think this is sad example of money being thrown away due to people being far too cautious. The number of people killed over the years by smoke inhalation from the burning of a few millilitres of hydrocarbons must be minuscule -- heck, some people regularly suck butane flames through paper tubes of cancerous chemicals and nobody rushes them to hospital if they burn their finger in the process.

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Alert

sitting at the station the entire boring night

Dunno about the fire service, but the Ambulance service are lucky if they get two half hour breaks in a twelve hour shift - and that's on nights - on days it is common not to get a break at all.

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When Flanders and Swann sang about the spider in the bath

the ultimate weapon used against the creature was a present from Penarth. If only they were around now to hear this one and update the song.

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YouTube for "Man Flu"

And all will be answered.

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Save the spiders...

They kill the other nasties...

And seriously, you guys don't have anything there remotely venomous amongst them.

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FAIL

Should have got the hoover out

not the flamethrower!

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Happy

That's what I call

A flash n the pan.

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Flame

theres a joke in there...

About loo and backdraft...

I'll leave that one to the pros. Tis Pub'o'clock

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Joke

There, you see?

We IT professionals DO own cans of deodorant...

...We still haven't worked out what they're for, yet, but we've been having a smashing time, trying to work out!

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Black Helicopters

Hmm

I'm not sure if I believe this blowback story - my guess is the spider was also equipped with a flamethrower, asbestos pants and jetpack for quick getaway.

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FAIL

Bah

I also cannot see why he had to go to hospital....Madness.

Also I personally find a can of WD40 (or GT85) works a treat, one doesnt even have to light it. Instant mini oil slick for instant insect death!

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Happy

Arachnophobia

Someone's been watching too much Arachnophobia :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aQ6vg3JB2U#t=1m45

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Coat

A Dyson is my weapon of choice.

After all, nature - as we all know - abhors a vacuum.

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Coat

Of course you can't inhale a vacuum-

you'll die, son.

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frying the spider

yes i would of done the same thin not burn myself of course i also get spiders in the bathroom the crawl throguh the plug hole or bathtub hole although i havent getten any through the loo pipe yet heh. if i do il fry the bugger lol

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yes i would OF done

I would HAVE

Oh, all right; if you must:

I WOULD'VE

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Anonymous Coward

Brain Dead 4 Ever.

man u reely shud ov gon to skool

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Coat

Changing his name...

...to Chris Welded...?

...Chris Welldone...?

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Methane

His wife discovered the spider. She was having a dump, started screaming, forgot to flush and along came our hero and blew himself up on her gaseous emanations.

I would be fucking embarrassed to go to hospital with singed fingers.

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Re:An Owie

It doesn't say how badly his knuckles/fingers were burned. Flames are a dangerous thing, though sending the fire crews does seem a bit overkill.

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Flame

He forgot to say...

..Hey, Y'all watch this!

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Because...

To everyone who's wondering why there was an ambulance and two fire crews...

"There was an almighty explosion which blew the man back into his hallway and lifted the hatch on the loft."

I don't know why they left that out. I'd say he's lucky if it's indeed true.

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Definitely done it wrong

Yeah - he must have sprayed a heck of a lot of propellant in there. This stuffs tends to make a bit of a flame - but with an appropriate quantity - it is a fairly brief flame - not enough to burn anything (except some singed hair or eye brows).

It also works a treat for setting the tyre bead on the wheel rim - brilliant stuff. And the effect is quite spectacular :-)

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Welcome

I for one...

...welcome our flame retardant arachnid overlords.

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fumes and spiders..

I remember that news article about some kid spraying too much Lynx in a small bathroom and being overcome by the propellant fumes.

Also, slightly apropos - I have two large spiders in my bedroom: one is the small bodied-long legged type and the other is just large and thick legged so you can actually hear it running around the floor at night.

Last night I dreamt they both engaged in an arachnoid-duel across the bedroom floor - bizarrely conjoined one underneath the other in a crazy 16-legged beast cavorting wildly around the carpet. It was like a manic little tumbleweed pattering about and, I kid you not, they were emitting little screams as they attacked each other.

I'm pretty sure it was just a dream, but it sure as hell woke me up !

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