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back to article Your genes determine whether you will respond to surveys

Humanity is in general genetically predisposed not to take surveys, according to new research. However there exists a proportion of mutant freaks whose genes make them want to respond to surveys. The amazing news comes as part of a new study by profs in America and Singapore. This involved the cunning sending out of a survey to …

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Terminator

Stroke of Genius

That's a well clever study. I knew experimenting on identical twins would be back in one day.

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FAIL

Opinion Polls - bleh!

Ive always found opinion polls to be amazing. Amazing in the fact that politicians take these as being fact and representative of the whole population, rather then the reality that they reflect only the opinions of those people who are a) too stupid not to hang up after the first five seconds of a telemarketers call; b) have so much time on their hand that they dont mind answering a telemarketers call (im guessing this is the very old and the very lonely); and c) those who are taking the piss and giving the stupidest answers imaginable.

That so many of our political decisions are based on the repsonses of these 3 groups of people really makes my head spin at times...

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Thumb Up

I freely admit

to being firmly in category (c).

The trick it trying to get to the end of the survey without the surveyor realising that you are, in fact, "taking the piss".

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Alert

How to get the result you want.

What, you thought the politicians actually listen to the people? You've been conned. How a politician gets the right answer, strait from Yes Minister. Satire is the best teacher. :)

Are you worried about the number of young people without Jobs? (Yes)

Are you worried about the rise in crime in young people? (Yes)

Do you think there is a lack of discipline in our comprehensive schools? (Yes)

Do you think young people welcome some leadership? (Yes)

Do you think young people respond well to a challenge? (Yes)

Would you be in favour of re-introducing National Service? (Yes. You can't really say no at this point...)

Bernard; "Is that what survey companies really do?"

Sir H; "Not the reputable ones, but there aren't many of those."

Sir H; "alternately, you can get the opposite result."

Bernard; "but how?"

Are you worried about the danger of war? (Yes)

Are you worried about the growth of armaments? (Yes)

Do you think there is a danger in giving young people guns and teaching them to kill? (Yes)

Do you think it's wrong to force people to take up arms against their will? (Yes)

Would you oppose the reintroduction of national service? (Yes!)

Politicians decide the results, then get the polls done to give the right result so they can say that people are in favour of it. Not that i'm cynical towards politicians (regardless of party) or anything.

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you missed off the funny line

There you go the perfect balanced sample

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Badgers

Now we just need some similar research...

On those idiots who spend hours posting comments on Internet forums and blogs that no-one will read... Oh wait... ****.

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FAIL

Ah the old identical twins junk science.

Because all of the sets of twins were raised in the same household, the only distinguishing variable between identical and fraternal twin sets is the fact that identical twins are genetically identical and fraternal twins are not."

Sooo friends,schooling, interaction with others (identical twins are treated differently), interaction between each other, gender, lifestyle choices ( etc etc etc... have anything to to do with it then?

Next week, Gillian Mckeith tell us her latest research on poo.

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FAIL

Nowt to do with biology.

I responded to all your surveys until you decided to keep your competitions confined to UK residents only.

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Policy based evidence

Select your policy, then chop it to pieces. For each piece, find a few worse alternatives. Now put the whole lot together a multiple choice survey. If you do it right, you should be able to prove that your policy is the most popular choice.

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Silver badge

Only 1,000 pairs? That might be enough tosses of the dice

to know whether or not they are fair, but for a survey? Really? And no hint of what the questions on the survey were or who was giving it?

Pass the Mann hockey stick please.

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Gav
Troll

Twas ever thus

"The silent genetic mainstream of humanity are evidently being drowned out by strident freaks."

Isn't that the very definition of the internet? You just have to look at the average Youtube comment section to see that.

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Boffin

Yeah - but what about the non-twins?

What is the reference level? How many ordinary people not being twins of any kind respond to surveys?

Perhaps this gem was in the paper but it's definitely not in your report.

From the abstract reference you gave it's not likely to be there either.

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Bronze badge

Imperfect Control

The idea that the only difference between identical and fraternal twins is that the latter share a common set of genes and that, otherwise, they have identical experiences is clearly simplistic. The very fact of being one of a pair of identical twins and realising that, not to mention differences in treatement by relatives and society at large means that the fraternal twins make an imperfect control. It's well known that there are behavioural differences between identical and fraternal twins.

Now is it certainly true that a common set of genes would appear to be a good reason why much of the behaviour of identical twins is simlar (and studies on identical twins separated at birth have support this). However, it we can hardly eliminate the possibility that at least some of the common behaviour pattern is also driven by social expectations of identical twins behaving similarly.

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Silver badge
Joke

Is there a commentard gene?

Oh wait, that would be me!

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Grenade

LOL

Actually, my genes determine when I can't be bothered, which greatly applies to "surveys." LOL!

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Alien

WONSTO

I for one would like to welcome our new survey taking overlords.

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Anonymous Coward

Another Boss Story

I had a boss who was often to be found on the phone, saying, "yes... yes... 5, 5, 3, not very, often, ... fifty billion".

I think it made him feel good that *someone* cared what he thought!

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Gold badge

I tried...

I'm not one for polls either. But I tried answering political polls, only to find they are broken by design. These polls are just another part of what is warping the US political system! I have gotten 2 calls... one (after the introduction saying it's a poll):

"Are you voting for (guy running as a democrat) or (guy running as a republican?)"

"No, I'm voting libertarian"

"OK bye." *click* (As fast as they hung up they obviously didn't even record my response).

Second poll, said to push 1 for the dem, 2 for the rep and 3 for 3rd party, and when I pushed 3 said it wasn't a proper response!

So then, the poll results come out claiming <1% are planning to vote third party. Go figure when it's not even a choice! And then later on after elections, stories came out shocked that so many more voted 3rd party than the polls indicated. But, of course, a lot of people just aren't willing to vote for someone they think will lose, these polls help keep third parties out of the running.

So, I'm pretty demotivated from answering polls now, when not only are the questions biased, but they won't even accept a full range of answers (even if I'm just recorded as "other").

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Anonymous Coward

I bet you a fiver

the original study was examining something completely different, but they didn't get enough responses.

Anon so nobody can claim their fiver.

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