back to article Drunken employee pops cap in server

An employee of a Salt Lake City mortgage company allegedly got drunk and popped a cap in the firm's $100k server, the Salt Lake Tribune reports. Joshua Lee Campbell, 23, had apparently been enjoying a few liveners with a fellow worker at the Twilight Concert in Pioneer Park, and later nipped back to work to shoot the server …

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  1. Lloyd
    Thumb Up

    We've all been there

    It's just as well we don't have a right to bear arms in the UK.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      well at least

      we have the right to bare arms.

      Short sleeves all the way.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        i always

        I always wanted the right to arm bears.

    2. Kevin Reader
      Go

      errm, the Eddie option...

      Although sadly fictional, *Eddie Shoestring* also used an American "weapon of choice", a baseball bat, in his character defining resignation from IT. As I recall this was occasionally shown in a flashback, but there's no evidence on the web.

      I should think even a single whack on the casing would not have done much for those late 70s multiplatter disk packs...

    3. Jean-Luc

      however, you do

      have a right to beer arms

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Bear Arms

      I've got Bear arms, it's a birth defect.

  2. Wommit
    Thumb Up

    Now come on.

    Just who hasn't wanted to 'pop a cap' into a server now and then?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Shooting them's too quick

      For a server that's been a particular pain in the arse I can recomend hanging, drawing and quartering.

      Much more satisfying....

      1. serviceWithASmile
        Flame

        re: shooting them's too quick

        yeah.

        personally, i'd just turn the air conditioning off.

        then ask it to do sums.

        siilicone won't last long at 100 degrees :D

        flame for obvious reasons

        p.s now i think about it, i'd sabotage the temp sensors and / or put the max shutdown temp up

        1. Wize
          Flame

          Some oily rags and a match.

          Will permanently fix most machines.

    2. yeehaw....
      Flame

      Sigh.................................

      One of my clients has a Dictaphone "server" running on a NT 4 Workstation w/Pentium 1(!) and 128mb ram....... Damn thing has no business being alive but I have to support it.

      Dictaphone won't talk to me anymore either....

    3. TimeMaster T
      Grenade

      Uhmmm, no

      Shoot a server, never.

      Discharge a 250,000V Tesla coil through its network jack, offten.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      we have all done it.

      or well ehmm wanted to. i did pack an epson printer with fireworks once and b-l-e-w it up whilst on the phone to support. I had a cordless phone and took it outside.......

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Give that man a beer

    Oh yes..

  4. Michael 82
    Grenade

    LOL

    Thats one way to 'pwn' a server.

    1. serviceWithASmile
      Flame

      apologies

      but i just have to say it:

      HEADSHOT!

      i'll get my coat

  5. Rob
    Thumb Up

    He's been reading...

    ... BOFH

    1. raving angry loony
      Pint

      nah...

      Nah. BOFH would have convinced the boss to pop the cap into the server, using an excuse that I'm far too unimaginative to come up with right now.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      I don't need no stinkin' title

      But a true BOFH would've been better prepared for such a contingency, including a beancounter or boss ready & waiting to be framed for the crime, as well as CCTV footage confirming his story

    3. TimeMaster T
      Megaphone

      No

      If he had even an inkling of the Mastery of BOFH he would never have used a gun.

      A true BOFH would have gotten the Patsy^WBoss to use the modified cattle prod and made sure that a CCTV camera was pointing at the server to record the event. This would be after transferring the contents of several company bank accounts to off shore accounts and ensuring that the transactions traced back to the boss's computer.

      How he would have convince the Boss to do it is far beyond my ability to even imagine. Such is Simon's Mastery of the art of BOFH.

      1. Andus McCoatover
        Joke

        Easy Peasy!

        The BOFH would have claimed to have 'accidentally' sprained his wrist on the latest server upgrade, then asked the boss if he'd be so kind as to slide the server - ever so carefully - back into the rack. "Boss, for 'elf and safety's sake, to ensure you don't get a shock, I'd recommend using this stick"

        BZZZZZT! Job (both) done.

        Mwahahaha!!!

  6. Code Monkey

    Drunk in charge of a gun

    No wonder there are so many shootings in the US. I'd much rather live somewhere with decent gun control so I can get pissed in comparative safety.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      Reminds me of a story I heard one time

      ...from a friend that at the Microsoft campus a few years back. There was a Brit with their group and a lady (typical West Coast liberal-type) start going off about how the US is backwards and "inhumane" vs. the UK and their progressive gun control legislation.

      The Brit pipes up and says "Inhumane? You haven't seen inhumane unless you've seen someone get beat to death with a beer bottle".

      The point here is that *PEOPLE* kill other people and you don't need a gun to do it. Gun control or lack of guns (after all the most popular weapon in Rwanda was machetes) does not mean people don't get killed.

      Anyway, as far as the article goes, yes me too... I think we've all wanted to do this at one time or another.

      Bringing it all together: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9e5Ky7CXPA

      1. OrsonX

        oh please!

        wake up and smell the coffee...

        In 2008, there were 42 gun related deaths in the UK (source: Wiki Answers)

        How many in USA? Please feel free to factor in population size if it helps....

        [...it won't]

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          UK killings

          "In 2008, there were 42 gun related deaths in the UK (source: Wiki Answers)"

          don't forget the 270 (roughly) fatal stabbings. I'm not sure if being stabbed to death is more or less pleasant than being shot.

          1. jonathanb Silver badge

            re: UK killings

            and 12632 gun homicides in the the US, total homicides 18361.

            Source http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/homicide.htm

            Guns may not kill, but they certainly help humans kill.

            1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
              FAIL

              RE: re: UK killings

              A gun is a tool, simple as that. How many people die every year in the States from accidents with power tools? Are you going to ban all those too? Good luck building anything. I hear about 3500 people in the States drown every year, are you going to ban swimming "for their own good"? Don't let's even look at deaths in car crashes, otherwise you could talk yourself into walking everywhere! Good luck in your ultra-safe life, wrapped in bubblewrap (falls around the home kill people every day), always indoors (lightning strikes to avoid) and eating only with a plastic spoon (no solids, I'm told hundreds of people choke to death on solids every year too). Best if you also disconnect yourself from the Internet, you wouldn't want to risk getting an electric shock.

        2. Matt Bryant Silver badge
          FAIL

          RE: oh please!

          You completely forgot to mention that it is the areas of the US with the strongest gun control laws that actually have the highest recorded incidences of gun crime. I have visited many US cities and felt a darn sight safer than many in the UK. I was in North Texas a few years back, where every truck seemed to have a gunrack and I'm pretty sure quite a few cars had a pistol in the glovebox, and the locals (people you would probably label as "rednecks that cling to their guns and bibles") were most upset about a shooting that had occured in their county - the first in twelve years!

          1. Tom 35

            Re: RE: oh please!

            "areas of the US with the strongest gun control laws that actually have the highest recorded incidences of gun crime."

            What came first? Your trying to imply that the gun control caused the higher crime? Gun control laws are a response to high gun crime.

            The problem is that if the law is only in one area it's a short drive to get your gun.

            In Canada they have strong control on hand guns, and most of the guns used in gun crime come from the US as they only find about 10% at the border.

            1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
              FAIL

              RE: Re: RE: oh please!

              "......What came first?...." The high levels of gun crime. Then the kneejerk reaction of stiffer gun laws, which had the effect of removing weapons from law-abiding citizens, making them less able to defend themselves. Bad news was that criminals are not law-abiding citizens, they didn't give up their guns, and now had softer targets to prey on. The "what came first" bit ignores that the stiffer gun laws came next, with the illogical view that they would reduce gun crime, but the reality is it actually went up in such places. However, in areas where US citizens were encouraged to own firearms, incidents of gun crime went down as the criminals couldn't gamble on not running into a gun-toting "victim".

              "....The problem is that if the law is only in one area it's a short drive to get your gun....." What a fallacy! In the '80s, the most common handgun used in street crime in Chicago and New York was a cheap German revolver that wasn't even legally imported into the States (it was so cheap and nasty it failed Federal safety testing)! Criminals smuggled them in to sell to other criminals. There was no need for criminals to go shopping for guns in other states, they were usually too lazy to, they simply bought cheap guns from the more organised criminals. All that baloney about guns being brought into Liberal states that had tighter gun laws was just more of the same old Liberal moaning that they were never to blame for a problem, it was always the fault of those nasty Republicans in their gun-loving states!

        3. steward
          FAIL

          I'll factor in 'any weapon available', though

          From the Beeb:

          "In fact, the most common weapon used in a violent crime in England and Wales is not a gun - but a knife. "

      2. Tiddles the cat
        Pint

        Indeed it is

        As a Brit myself, when I think of specific folk of my acquaintance who might enjoy such bracing exercise, I am somewhat glad that policies (effective or otherwise) restricting their access to guns exist.

        1. Captain Thyratron

          Unintentionally enlightening?

          Here's a post that demonstrates one of the fastest ways to lose your civil rights: You fear your neighbors having some right and you are willing to give it up yourself if it means some symbolic gesture--say, a law of questionable efficacy--will calm your fears, justified or not.

          (Whole lot of good it did Pat Regan.)

      3. Tom 35

        after all the most popular weapon in Rwanda was machetes

        That's just because they don't have gun shops (with a pawn shop on one side and a liquor store on the other) every two blocks in the crappier part of town. Rwandans had to put some effort into their evil deeds while Americans don't even have to get out of their cars.

      4. Steve 13
        WTF?

        I haven't

        In fact I've never even heard of someone being beaten to death with a beer bottle.

        One thing that is sure though, a drunken person in control of a beer bottle and intending harm, is a hell of a lot less dangerous than the equivalent with a .45

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        machetes

        Wasnt it a UK company that provided them.

      6. Anonymous Coward
        Grenade

        Gun Control

        Here in the US Gun Control means hitting what you are aiming at!

    2. peyton?

      Oh god please no more us vs them gun threads

      But do still be careful out there - a drunk behind the wheel is just as dangerous as one with a gun.

    3. Tim
      WTF?

      Not that big of a deal

      It's only a class B misdemeanour after all, like harassing sheep or cycling on the pavement.

    4. David Eddleman
      FAIL

      Nope.

      Gun control = limiting arms of law-abiding citizens.

      Criminals, 9 times out of 10, won't go into a shop, do the paperwork, etc. They'll steal, buy stolen/smuggled, smuggle them, etc.

      1. Sooty

        @David Eddleman

        and who do the criminals steal these guns from? Yes - it's the law abiding citizens who went into a shop and filled out all the paperwork. Criminals may still be able to get hold of guns, but the fewer out there legally, the harder it becomes to obtain them illegally.

        Also, all it takes is for one law abiding citizen to have a bad day and they can quite easily "go postal". If they don;t have a gun to hand, they are less likely to go out and find an illegal/stolen/smuggled gun to use, and will vent their anger in a different way

        Yes, people still commit crimes, with knives, beer bottles, bike chains, chair legs, etc. But all of these require a bit more effort than standing 50 feet away and shooting someone with a twitch of a finger, and they are easier to stop.

        You may also find, that if every man and his dog isn't armed to the teeth, the police/criminals etc don't automatically assume you are carrying a gun and are less likely to shoot you "just in case"

      2. JohnG

        Gun Control

        "Gun control = limiting arms of law-abiding citizens."

        No, gun control is an attempt to restrict the acquisition of firearms to law-abiding citizens and ideally, to those law-abiding citizens who are mentally competent for such responsibility.

        If your argument held water, then firearms fatalities per capita in the USA would be similar to European countries with gun control (because gun control would have no impact on the ability of criminals to acquire firearms). As it is, firearms fatalities statistics in the USA place it alongside the crappiest countries in West Africa. This may be because criminals in the USA can acquire weapons with relative ease from others, who originally purchased them as apparently law-abiding citizens. In countries with gun control, lawful owners of firearms take care not to let their weaponry fall into the hands of criminals because they may be held partially responsible for the crimes that ensue.

        Anyway, each to their own. I'm sure the Yanks will continue to enjoy living with the consequences of almost unbridled gun ownership and Europeans will continue to live with the life-impairing bureaucracy involved in gun ownership.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Flame

      If EVERYONE in the USA had a gun...

      If guns make you safe, then more guns make you more safe, eh?

      If EVERYONE in the USA had a gun, then they'd all live happily ever after....

      Wot?

      There's a problem in the logic?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        If everyone in the USA had guns

        In every major city here in the US if they make it harder to get guns for the average person crime goes up. Why, because criminals know they won't get shot. On the other hand if a city or a state makes it easier to get guns then crime drops in that area. So yes here in the US legally owning a gun makes you less likely to be a victim of a crime.

    6. Captain Thyratron

      We just like killing people.

      If the UK is the alternative you have in mind, I wish to point out that murder rates in general were already far lower there than in the US prior to the 1998 handgun ban, and probably still are even with the apparent recent increase in violent crime; for that matter, homicide rates in the US have been leaps and bounds ahead of the UK's even as far back as the first decade of the twentieth century. Y'all just aren't as fond of killing people, I guess.

    7. TimeMaster T
      Troll

      Question

      Brits are always commenting on this site about how Britain is becoming a police state. So, then they come for you what are you going to do?

      Fight back? With what? The military and police have all the guns, and the training to use them.

      The original purpose of the US Constitution's 2nd Amendment was intended to ensure that the government could not enact unjust laws upon the people or impose a tyranny through the use of force without the people having the ability to oppose them with equal force.

      Its been misinterpreted, misrepresented, watered down and misused over the years that most people have forgotten what it was originally for.

      I would like to see guns go away, to never need one for anything other than hunting for dinner or protecting myself from a bear while hiking. Until Human nature changes there will be a valid, if also unfortunate, justification to their existence.

      And yes, I know this is a Troll, hence the icon.

      1. lglethal Silver badge
        Troll

        @ TimeMaster T

        In the UK we have a thing called Democracy. Thats how we fight back.

        See the perfect example is that the previous government started to go all fascist police state on us. We had an election, we voted for the other guys who were not fascist police state people. They got into power, they are now removing the fascist police state stuff implemented by the past government.

        No need for guns, no need for the army to get involved. Its an interesting concept, that people can vote for a different type of government i know, but you guys should really give it a go sometime...

        1. Andus McCoatover

          Oh, fuc*king really???

          "In the UK we have a thing called Democracy".

          Yep, therefore the Brits voted Democratically for the Poll Tax. (Thatcher's quote "One vote is enough")

          OK, I think I understand it now. Stupid me for not realising earlier.

          1. John 62

            need a better example than poll tax

            in the UK we have a representative democracy. we vote for people to represent us to make decisions for us. hence days of negotiations to get a coalition agreement that no-one really voted for, but that's the way it works.

            The poll tax was brought in because no-one was paying the old council rates. no wonder people rioted when they had been happy avoiding tax and suddenly had to pay. Thing is, the poll tax was fairer than the council tax. You didn't see pensioners rioting over the poll tax, but several did protest about the council tax by going to prison rather than pay up. Yeah, that's fair, stick it to the pensioners instead of the working age young men.

            Thatcher was not the Messiah, but she doesn't deserve half the vilification she gets.

        2. Ted Treen
          Big Brother

          @Iglethal

          Doesn't quite work like that: any liberty, once lost, is rarely - very rarely restored.

          There isn't, in any real sense of the word, a "different type" of government.: just another side of the same coin.

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