Flummoxed IT giant Hewlett-Packard has hired executive search firm Spencer Stuart to help it quickly and quietly find a new chief executive officer, after Mark Hurd resigned amid a sex and expense reporting scandal on 6 August. The headhunting firm was established in 1956 and is a privately held partnership with expertise in …
that title scared the crap out of me... Firing a butcher to hire a headhunter?!
Anon because I shouldn't be here
its a short list for CEO
Valid the impaler
Valid the impaler?
Or maybe his sickly looking cousin, Invalid the paler?
Well, if Carly doesn't win the election, I'm sure she'll be looking for a gig...
From what I "Hurd" they already had a CEO "Head Hunter"
ouch that was funny
Paris...why? because she would never had gotten him fired
Valid the Impaler?
Pfft, he was nothing...now his cousin "Invalid the Impaler" was a real "#$%
Mind you, after Carly (Government, hahahaha) they couldn't really do any worse could they.
Not even the basics
VLAD the impaler, also known as Dracula.
When I said Dracula , I was referring to the mythical vampire as opposed to the Vlad the real person . There is a reason why I listed Vlad the impaler separate from Dracula .But hey don't let that get in the way of you being a pendant.
Trevor maybe we can send Carly to work for phorm.
Still the real person was called VLAD, not Valid, Vilad, Vladi, Ganesh or James. <This is humour btw.
Paris because she likes to be impaled by her friends herself.
Oh, and by the way it's PEDANT, not pendant.
See how many things you can learn on "the internet" ?
Leaders Need Not Apply
Major corporation with an executive board that thinks it's got everything sewn seeks figurehead with dynamic appearance and good camera presence to reassure Wall Street, pundits and punters while keeping their fingers out of the works. Applicants must test free of all substances associated with decisiveness and vision.
No knowledge or understanding of business controls, procedure, or accounting practices desired. Applicant will be required to STFU and do what they're told by executive level beancounters, privacy-invading nazis, empire-builders, and other such reprobates.
This is a temporary full-time position, projected to last for 9 mos. to 2 years.
Benefits include sackloads of money, the opportunity to play "Rock Star" at conferences, and the ability to channel Marcus Welby, M.D. in financial conference calls until such time as they fall into disfavour with the current ruling faction within the board.
Experience as part of a dysfunctional, abusive family a plus.