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back to article Apple iPhone exec falls on sword

The Apple hardware exec reportedly responsible for the iPhone 4's much-maligned and equally much-defended antenna design has left One Infinite Loop. Don't, however, jump to the conclusion that Mark Papermaster is a victim of the iPhone 4 "antennagate" debacle. Remember, in his press conference of July 16 — an event from which …

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Who?

"Mr. Papermaster, who was listed as an executive on Apple's Web site earlier Saturday, had vanished from the site later in the day."

Did he really exist at all?

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Anonymous Coward

Of course he didn't...

Mr "PaperMaster" is a joke name, like Dickus Maximus (cue "The Life of Brian")

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Jobs Horns

As Max Zorin said...

"So, anyone else want to drop out?"

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Anonymous Coward

I have a Woman Fweind Yoh knhow...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/joke_32.png

It's Biggus Dickus and Gluteus Maximus. He has a wife, you know. Her name is Incontinentia.... Incontinentia Buttocks.

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Coat

Re: As Max Zorin said...

Other than the iPhone's signal?

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X X X X X X X X X

Am I the only person who is thinking "resigned", and many other things from "The Prisoner"?

Should I worry that with the benefit of hindsight, "Rover" looked remarkably like an Apple product (clean uncluttered white design, etc.)

If I next read about Apple moving into the defense sector, I'll start having nightmares.

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Stop

-gate

I wish people would stop using X-gate in journalism.

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Anonymous Coward

Why?

What's wrong with making words by putting "X-" in front of them?

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Re : Why

Because it's bloody annoying?

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Unhappy

Watergate

At some point in the future when we've been saturated by X-gate scandals, our children's children will believe that Watergate was a scandal about water..

@Iron Oxide - for that reason, I completely agree with you.

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Grenade

Agreed

It is annoying. I also would like to repeatedly headbutt the media-type who came up with shortening celebrity / couple names - SuBo, KFed, JEdward, BrAngelina...Grrrrr

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Watergate

Actually, as Mitchell & Webb pointed out, it should now be referred to as Watergategate...

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Get With The...

...pogrom.

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Black Helicopters

Re: Apple hardware exec falls on sword

He's lucky he didn't fall 'off a roof'.

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Not worth..

.. the Health & Safety inspection hassle. This is better, because you get to pester him for years to come.

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Re: Not worth..

You may have missed the reference there....

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/05/26/foxconn_defacement_suicide_protest/

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non disclosure for 30 years?

Roll on 2040 not.

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Jobs Horns

but why?

Well, Jobs said that there was no issue, said that it was all media created and when you're successful people just try and make an issue out of nothing....

Shirley he wasn't trying a cover up? *gasp* I mean, before his press conference it was a software issue...

*giggles*

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Ah, you mean the way that......

....Leon Trotsky dissapeared from so many photographs when Stalin took over? Was Mr Papermaster told by the company's senior management *before* he noticed via the web that he had become a nonperson? Must be really weird to vanish like that.

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Unhappy

that's right leave your iphone 4 prototype at the gate as you leave

ET phone home ! with a finger pointing at the sky

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FAIL

...reminds me of that scene in Serenity... but shouldnt it have been Jobs?

Where that guy gets a samurai sword through the important bits...

But if I remember isnt the 'buck stops here' guy the CEO?

Apple: overpriced crap for underbrained idiots...

Or the famous....

Think... How?

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Are we talking airplanes

or origami?

Maybe the Reg should contact him about running the paper spaceplane project.

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Unhappy

The corporate disappearing act

A large reservation travel company, once owned by an airline in the U.S., runs a program that removes permissions for a terminated employee that is triggered the minute the employee is notified.

All computer access, web and e-mail references are removed with e-mail forwarding implemented, telephone systems reprogrammed, credit cards cancelled along with all employee privileges such as airline discounts.

The employees access card is, of course nuked, and they have to be escorted out of the premises! By the next business day all traces of employment, such as parking spots, office names, etc have vanished done by gremlins who work overnight.

Only HR retains contact to finalise all the paperwork, etc.

Pretty amazing to watch, as long as you are not the reason!

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Jobs Halo

Alarming

As funny as it is watching this ballade - the question looming behind the horizon is: can Apple execs under Steve Jobs - and let's be honest: there's nobody next to him - can they actually be successful?

It must be incredibly difficult to be a successful executive at Apple - and it must be equally difficult to find people who want to take such a job and actually get accepted by Apple.

Apple has a leadership-problem. It's not at the top, but just below.

It may also be that the hardware is just not ready for the software.

A little bit like in the NeXT days.

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Joke

On the plus side...

Apple appear to have successfully implemented the Papermaster-less office.

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Joke

But

This isn't a problem. He didn't leave and although he did, other companies have the same issue with staff migration. Just wait till we show you the videos of HTC and Motorolla losing staff members.

See, there is no antennagateexeleaving-gate.

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Jobs Horns

He didn't jump...

"That news organ reached Papermaster by mobile phone, but he "declined to comment" as to whether he jumped or was pushed."

Maybe he couldn't comment because his antenna couldn't hold the call long enough?

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It's very sad, but...

Mister Papermaster was today found to be suffering from a nine millimeter brain hemorrhage (sp?) in a back alley somewhere in Cupertino, central Russia.

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Anonymous Coward

@-gate

> I wish people would stop using X-gate in journalism.

Clearly there's some form of conspiracy going on to perpetuate this usage ... I expect in the future will get an expose that provides the full details on gate-gate.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: @-gate

Why do you lot get so exercised about this perfectly acceptable shorthand? I've said it before, but you try writing headlines for a week and then you'll realise the value of these conventions.

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Coat

must be part of the reggate scandal

*leaves*

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Anonymous Coward

The death of a scandal.

Because its is like txt spk for the word scandal. there are no cases where scandal does not work and -gate is needed, just like txtspk, its not required.

but the media likes it, and its thier medium. so hey ho. what can we do...

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Anonymous Coward

Will they be able to report..

The scandels at Col or Cowen without trademark infringement?

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Thumb Down

watergate

had nothing to do with Water, or Gates.

That is the problem that I have.

I'm a little young to remember it first hand, but wasn't Wtergate referred to as The Watergate Scandal? Can't these things be referred to as, The Antenna Scandal? (or what ever is appropriate for the scandal of the moment)

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Personally

I tihnk there are far too many 'scandals' in the news, that have been blown out of all proportion by sufficing them with -gate. I think this should be known as scandalgate.

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The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

Yes, it was "The Watergate Scandal". It was, if I recall, named after the building in which the break in took place. I

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Anonymous Coward

Will they be able to report

or mention on-set shenanigans at Star, Star Atlantis etc without involving the RIAA

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Anonymous Coward

Sorry, Double-post-gate!

This has entered our language: we are stuck with it for ever now, even when nobody has a clue what Watergate was.

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Watergategate

There's a Mitchell and Webb sketch about this:

MItchell: I was just going to say that my eye was caught by this whole scandal in America.

Webb: Oh, the scandal in America. Yeah, that is interesting. That must be the biggest scandal since Watergategate.

Mitchell: Watergategate? Isn't it just Watergate?

Webb: No. That would mean it was just about water. No, it was a scandal or gate, add the suffix gate, that's what you do with a scandal, involving the Watergate Hotel. So it was called the Watergate scandal, or Watergategate.

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Oh go on, let me jump on...

But wasn't there a scandal involving that guy from the Goodies, the one who was a doctor...?

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Oh go on, let me jump on....

As a pointer to how silly this can get, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_scandals_with_%22-gate%22_suffix contains a depressingly long list of *gate scandals.

Most of which I've never heard of.

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Happy

Ohhhhh, now this could get interesting.

I'm sure he has a contractual clause forbidding him to talk about Apple business for a while, but that's unlikely to be more than 6 or 12 months. So we might get some very interesting gossip from him when that expires :-)

GJC

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only...

...if he doesn't want a job anymore in this life.

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JDX
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Megaphone

Just wait...

...until we can find out if he still uses an iPhone after leaving Apple.

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Go

And he will be replaced by ...

Jonathan Wordsmith.

What a bunch of little boys hiding behind their mamma and blaming their imaginary friend for the spilled milk.

As Homer Simpson says, "Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the Weasel."

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Coat

(untitled)

Former Microsoft CEO in legal boundary and trespass dispute.

Bill Gate's Gate-Gate?

Yeah, I know, mine has the wonky latch in the pocket.

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