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back to article Women, gorillas likelier to have sex with men wearing red

Good news today for men finding themselves unfortunately circumstanced in terms of feminine companionship: and also for heterosexual members of the Brigade of Guards. Trick-cyclists have discovered that women - indeed, all "female primates" - are more strongly attracted to men wearing the colour red. “Red is typically thought of …

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WTF?

shopping

SO perhaps, even as a bloke, it is time to go shopping

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Flame

How depressing :(

I cant stand the colour red.

if I had my way all red cars would have their colours changed to pale girly 7 year old pink.

Why you ask ?

Well just to upset the people who own red cars.

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Joke

A-ha!

This explains the success of that face-like-a-bag-of-spanners Mick Hucknal. He must have a wardrobe full of simply red shirts.

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IT Angle

does this explain...

...the predominance of red in El Reg's layout?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: does this explain...

Maybe, maybe not but it might explain why you always see more than one ladybird and they all seem to be humping each other.

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Anonymous Coward

Pink?

I wonder if this is tied in to that old gender stereotype of little girls preferring pink? I know that my niece, whose Mum is something of a tomboy and rarely wears anything but jeans, will still go for pink clothes over anything else.

Anecdotally I've noticed that when I've worn pink or red when visiting friends or family whom I don't see often, their young (2-4yrs) kids seem to get over their usual shyness with strangers more quickly, reaching the "carry me" stage noticeably sooner.

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Anonymous Coward

Red (and pink) were traditionally manly colours

I think it was only the gorilla sex that caused men to go off them

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Anonymous Coward

Santa

Santa will be overjoyed too.

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Coat

You'd better watch out!

He knows where all the naughty girls live!

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Joke

Santa?

Maybe he will no longer come but once a year?

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Re: Santa?

...and it won't be down a chimney

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Thumb Up

I certainly am!

The post is required, and must contain letters. (Or Parcels)

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Coat

Yippie!!!

(Grabs Scarlet coloured coat and heads for the Mall)

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Troll

So that explains

Why people keep voting for Labour.

Were other colours neutral, or were women less likely to want to shag people wearing (say) yellow?

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Joke

So

Wear red on that first date, but don't take her to the zoo.

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Anonymous Coward

Red eh?

So is there any evidence that this, by extension, applies to red cars? I detect some sponsorship by Ferrari......

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Go

Worrying...

"Women, gorillas likelier to have sex with men wearing red"

As I am unwittingly wearing a red top, I shall be especially careful walking past any gorillas today.

Thanks for the heads up - could have been nasty.

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You beat me to it

Enough said.

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Boffin

Makes sense.

There is some science, women are better at perceiving red than men because the code for 'can see red' is in the X chromosome. This means 99% of women get a double dose of red (also means it's rare for a female to be colour blind) the rest of the population have to get by with one or less shots of red. Same reason most women really can spot the difference between white and er.. white.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Makes sense.

I'm colour-blind. This makes me *special*. It's a sign of intelligence, you know... cough.

I wouldn't know about it if I hadn't failed those dotty tests. It only affects me in that I can't see the numbers in those dotty tests, and I can't be a pilot (just like the kid in Little Miss Sunshine). And I occasionally can't tell if something is yellow or green. But that's about it.

Red does have an effect on people - it draws the eye. Wear red, get looked at - get red in photos or designs and they will get looked at. It wouldn't surprise me if they discovered all sorts of other stuff about it. Like, teens have moved on from iDosing to staring at red things until they experience a "high".

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Depends on your type of colourblindness

Some are gender specific, others are not.

Most types are red-green troubled and usually troubles males, where as your yellow/green one is not gender related and a lot more rare.

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Colour blind.

You would probably make a bloody good sniper, though.

I bet you spot those camouflaged internet stalkers, miles away!

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Happy

Re: Makes sense. @ Sarah Bee

>> I wouldn't know about it if I hadn't failed those dotty tests. It only affects me in that I can't see the numbers in those dotty tests, and I can't be a pilot (just like the kid in Little Miss Sunshine).

Yeah, I failed the Ishihara test as well - very red-green deficient like about 7% (1 in 14) of men. However, that is not a block to holding a pilots licence. If you fail the Ishihara test, they can let you do a Lantern Test where they show you a tiny dot of coloured light from a distance to simulate you getting light signals from the tower. If you can pass that (I just managed), then you would be deemed colour safe and that's it. If you can't pass that, then you can still fly, but daytime only - it will rule out commercial flying but not private flying.

Full details are at http://www.caa.co.uk/default.aspx?catid=49&pagetype=90&pageid=528

So if you want to fly, colour blindness need not be a handicap.

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FAIL

But how does this explain events in the original Star Trek?

Security wore red shirts, which guaranteed sudden death after beaming down. Not seduction by alien females.

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That's because...

....wearing a red shirt, they got f***ed good and proper.

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Coat

On the downside, the more red you wear...

...the more likely you are to get killed on away missions.

Mine's the red one, with a Federation badge on the lapel.

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WTF?

really?

i tot guys in total white turns girls on. owh well, its time for new wardrobe anyway

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Flame

I'd like them to narrow the effect down a bit

Don't want to buy a red suit just to find I'm pulling gorillas.

no reason, other than being red

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This man is wearing red...

Note to self: avoid gorillas.

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Coat

... unless its an El Reg T Shirt

NCF

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Anonymous Coward

Lubricious...

...is my new favourite word. Awesome.

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Heart

AC, you are right!

Dear El Reg, how can a reader get access to the official Reg Thesaurus?

If visiting Vulture Central while wearing a tight red dress is enough, I'm off buying tickets to London.

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Pirate

Re: tight red dress

Yeah, that might work. Would have to borrow one from the missus.

I better shave my beard first - but can I keep my moustache?

Thanks. Icon? - shaving implements. :)

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El
Paris Hilton

No blokes

I think the tight red dress only works if you're female... of course, I could be completely misunderstanding the preferences of the Reg staff.

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Coat

well I suppose that explains...

...how Wayne Rooney manages to get laid.

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Something else

No, I think that's more likely to be down to the gigantic piles of cash lying around his kennel

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Stop

Does this mean?

...actually means 'GO'?

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And here I thought Sheep were color blind. . .

Wait, no, gorillas; they said gorillas.

I always get the words confused when an article lapses into Spanish.

I still wonder why they look at me funny when I go to a Mexican restaurant and order a cheese gorilla.

Maybe I am not wearing enough red.

I bet if I put on my Star Trek red shirt I could have cool Monkey Sex (kids if you try this at home stay away from the sheep.) because I have a feeling that every Trekker out there thinks this way.

I am 62 now; Luke I am your grandfather; breath, damn machine.

I am old enough to remember black and white TV and wonder exactly how did the perception of the color red come over the airways back then.

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Wow.

Quite a train of thought you have there John.

Perhaps this might be a good time to lay off the scotch?

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Simple.

"Steve is going for the pink ball - and for those of you who are watching in black and white, the pink is next to the green."

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Heart

Better red than dead

Hmmm, so that explains why the wife liked my CCCP hammer and cickle T-shirt so much - got to go back to Kiev for a new one...

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Stop

Bit far ...

You can buy them down Camden market, and the tube fare is a bit cheaper than flying to Kiev ...

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Go

Excellent news!

I have red hair, I choose this article to mean that all women are irresistibly attracted to me no matter what I wear.

( AC because I'm ginger :( )

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Coat

That explains...

...all that rampant rutting in the House of Lords. All those fur-trimmed red robes...

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Thumb Down

Tried it. It doesn't work.

Though I have to say I did get slapped less in response to my request...

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Vestments

This must be what keeps those catholic cardinals so busy.

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JMB

Red

Nice thought of a Labour MP, wearing his red tie, being chased by a randy Gorilla.

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This post has been deleted by its author

England playing in red.

Might explain the WAG phenomena but research still needs doing, as to why, they still play shit football!

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Joke

Maybe...

To tied from all the off pitch action to perform on the pitch!

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