We're delighted to report that the RAF have shown Russian donkey dangler Vasily Gorobets - the man responsible for the Sea of Azov airborne ass - just how it's really done. Gorobets defiantly laughed in the face of international outrage at his asinine parasailing stunt, and declared: "I'm a hero. Nobody has ever flown a donkey …
Also a horror movie...
...about crocodiles where they slung a cow underneath the helecopter to tempt the large croc out of the water.
Wasn't really a horror movie; something about a lake in America somewhere and the old woman was feeding the crocs who ate her husband. Not very frightening. Well, it might have been for the cow.
All been done before. Yawn!
...was called Lake Placid and I agree, a steaming pile of manure.
Yes it was called "Lake Placid"
But it seems both of you failed to realise that the whole thing was a Comedy/Spoof of all the crap monsters/piranhas/snakes/sharks in the water films that preceeded it.
For future reference the movie “Scream” was also a spoof; despite there being another Hollywood spoof made of that film by people who didn't get it.
Do me a favour...
... you're talking, here, to a person who took three days to watch Alien.
New keyboard please!
"the RAF was on hand to airlift the ailing equine to safety, in the process demonstrating that while any idiot can hitch a donkey to a parasail, it takes proper class to pull off a flying horse."
This quote made my otherwise dreary, boring day :)
But ... it is one more reminder why one never should quaff beverages or consume food when reading the Register. C|N>K damn near happened.
And all the 'nay-sayers' said it couldn't be done.
Go on animal lovers, try to stop our mane force of flying horses and donkeys! There's hee-haw that you can do about it!
Mine's the one made out of horsehair mate.
Re Equine flying!
Shouldn't that read ""neigh-sayers"? Or even "neigh-seighers".
...couldn't this have happened to a Pig???????? that would have been oh so useful.
A journo of my acquaintance ...
... managed to hijack the placards for the Sandwell edition of the Express & Star and plastered that part of the West Midlands with the news:, "PRINCESS ANNE TOSSED OFF HORSE". (It related to the rider in question being ejected from her saddle, but this still counts as the best day's work done by anyone I know).
Pah! I've heard better...
try google for:
12 best unintentional sport double-entendres
Paris? Of course Paris. We're talking tossing here!
I notice somebody mentioned "the batsmans Holding the bowlers Willey". Can't let them have that for "unintentional". Brian Johnstone was famed for doing it deliberately and usually collapsing in the giggles afterwards. My favourite being the time that Boycott caught one on what Johnners described as the "upper thigh" after rolling round in pain for a while Boycott returned to the crease. Johnners announced "One ball left."
Or how about "Greig at first slip, bending over with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle."?
I saw Clare Frisby on the list too. She's of the same bent. If she utters an double ententre you can be pretty sure it's inentional.
Lester, if you want to stay news worthy PARIS is going to need a live payload. Hamster? Who remembers Tales From The Riverbank.
"Pull off a flying horse"? A friend of mine used to collect semen from horses and bulls for AI. Dangerous enough on the ground, I should think it's very risky in the air.
I can't see how that sort of activity would further artificial intelligence research. I suspect your friend was hiding something.
I doubt Vulture 1 could take a frozen hamster, but that's another story.
"A friend of mine used to collect semen from horses and bulls for AI"
Al? Alex or Alan?
And what did he do with it, the filthy pervert.
Between H and J
It's not an L.
pull off a flying horse...
with an enormous chopper.
I am disappointed.
Where is a mandatory "Yes, Prime Minister!" reference?
Have a stroke of its mane
it turns into a plane
Upping the ante
Horses, donkeys, ponies, asses, mules, whataver.
What we need to do here is start an equally harmless sequel to the cold war, in which all the competing countries fly successions of ever larger and more bizarre animals. It will drive industry for the next 50 years.
If it were up to me, my next move after a horse would be to fly a giraffe. I'd also get a Harrier on standby to tether a herd of ostriches on elasticated rope and help them become the first flying-in-formation flock, right over the Palace of Westminster on the day the Queen opens Parliament. Imagine seeing that flashed up on Sky News.
It could all end with two Zeppelins holding up a huge tarpaulin between them carrying a blue whale, drawn on the ground along the course of the Thames by elephants ridden by small monkeys in suits and gipsy hats. The RAF could keep flying over them, perfectly targeting the whale with a series of waterbombs to stop it drying out. It would all be very symbolic (not to mention intimidating) to the Russian audience.
Oh, and sending animals into space is nothing new, but bringing them back is less common. I propose that Britain should get those rocket scientists from Top Gear to send a wooden stick into orbit. Then the Government should launch a border collie into space, complete with a specially designed space suit, to do the world's first space doggie walk, retrieve the stick and safely return to Earth. Preferebly, touching down in Hyde Park. But knowing the Russians, they'd probably respond by sending a dog to the moon to (literally) mark its territory.
RE: Upping the ante
Sorry, but the Yanks really can top just a flying horse. There was a film not too many years ago ("Operation Dumbo Drop", with Ray Liotta and Danny Glover) loosely based on the real events of Op "Bahroom", where the US Special Forces wanted to win the hearts and minds of a remote Vietnamese village. The locals needed a new elephant, and the US flew one onboard a C-130 Hercules and then underslung beneath a CH-53 Sea Stallion (Lewis probably didn't remember that one becasue it wasn't one of his beloved Chinooks). ;)
Reminds me of one of my father's stories..
.. he was a lorry driver and picking up a load from tilbury docks,when at the same time they were using a crane to unload a circus from a ship further up the dock. All went fine until they put the hemp sling into the hold and it emerged with an elephant slung from it. Much noise and all sorts of pachydermal fluids being shot in all directions. He swore it was the only time he ever saw dockers running!
About the old guy caught shagging a horse at night.
The guy even bought his own step ladder!
Have none of you...
... ever seen Apocalypse Now! ? - ox slung under a Huey...
Francis Coppola must really hate oxen, he had one chopped to bits later in the movie (sorry, I mean he filmed a local ceremony that just happened to be going on anyway...)
I have been told by someone who used to be an air despatcher that the way to get a mule that doesnt want to jump out of a C47 over Burma is to raise the tail and apply a cigarette lighter.
Apparently mules were paracuted to the Chindits and others during the war.
He was much amused that this was not a forgotten skill.
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