back to article Forget the Jesus Phone, here's the Rude Phone

It costs $78, it is available in black, red or white and it is called the WANK E5. No, not an personalised number plate, but the name of a Nokia handset on sale at SoloMobi, a Chinese retailer. Going Solo? That sounds about right. We guess the name will change soon enough; and before sniggering too hard, we happily acknowledge …

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FAIL

Hope it's better built than the website.

Microsoft JET Database Engine error '80040e21'

The Microsoft Jet database engine stopped the process because you and another user are attempting to change the same data at the same time.

/viewproduct.asp, line 209

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Coat

Looking at the full specs...

...very good to see that it comes with a handshaking function.

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Not forgetting

Deportivo Wanka of Peru (featured in ElReg back in 2006).

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(Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

Re: Not forgetting

Very good, I shall add a link to article.

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And of course...

Lake Minnewanka, of prairie-dog photo-op fame.

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Coat

Place names too

Curiously, "wanka" means "thorn."

One wonders if Deportivo Wanka plays at the Wanka Wasi ('house").

The one with the Quechua dictionary in the pocket, please.

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Even more impressive...

... is the fact the the judasphone advertised on the same page comes with a "gravity inducer".

Stop looking for the higgs boson, it looks like we already found the jobs boson.

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(Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

Re: Even more impressive...

There sure are a lot of gravity inducers out there. And they appear to be mainly in Chinese phones. I have consulted our resident phone expert Bill Ray, and we are agreed that it is almost certainly a mistranslation of gravity "sensor".

Many phones these days have some sort of gravity sensor, it allows one to reject calls by flipping the phone face down and things like that. And It can also be used to auto-rotate.

Shame, really. Gravity Inducer is so much more exciting.

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Alien

Not interested unless.....

......it generates antimatter internally - that would do something about battery life.

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dunno what it is about the Austrians

whilst leafing through the European atlas on a long car journey I discovered the little Austrian villages of "Wank" and "Piss".

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Handy?

Don't forget that the swiss team "Youg Boys" are based in Wankdorf...

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Unhappy

Love the Spec!!

Says it has a full QWERT keyboard. Y no Y?

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Anonymous Coward

"Or Finnish, now we think of it."

May I suggest the Pillun F7?

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(Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

Re: "Or Finnish, now we think of it."

David, my Finnish is not up to much, or anything. But I can phone a Finnish friend.

Naughty.

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Paris Hilton

Required spec

- A _really_ strong vibrate function (a la IT crowd)

- Liquid-proof

- Unlimited data tariff

- Web browser limited to .xxx domains

- Easy-to-hit Mute/Screensaver button

- Video camera with zoom that works well in low light levels

All for $78 - Sounds like a bargain!

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Anonymous Coward

Title still required.

I thought it was a no-brand knockoff with false branding, but then it turns out to really exist. No wonder nokia is circling the drain.

On another note, why does that site require javascript to show anything at all? It doesn't appear to have smarts worth mentioning, and anyway, if it needs client-side scripting to build up a static page, then it's being overly complex for no good reason at all.

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Flame

@AC

I call knockoff. The fact that it's dual-SIM (evident in one of the pics), has full signal even though there's no sim (evident in the same picture) and a filmsy TV 'tenna, plus the suspicious looking box that doesn't say Nokia anywhere on it. Also, it looks rather different from a real E5, featured here: http://www.nokia.com.my/find-product/all-phones/nokia-e5 . The specs listed on Solomobi's site does not match up with Nokia's official specs either. Given how many strange iPhone knockoffs there are in the market, this comes as no surprise as Chinese knockoff factories work to get a share of the lucrative businessphone market share.

Fire, because.

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g e
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or Brian Wankum

... the new series of 'V'

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Linux

Not forgetting...

The Wankdorf Stadium in Austria, though I notice HuwLewis kind of beat me to it. Still, he always did have "The News", eh?

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But how do you hold it?

Is it able to withstand a good firm grip without going limp?

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Coat

Am I the only one

old enough to remember Wang (funny on this side of the pond) computers, especially mainframes?

Running reports on "The Wang"

Of course, since it was a mainframe-

"Is the Wang Up?"

"Is the Wang down?"

"Is the Wang working?"

I'll get me coat, the one with the "Wang Operator's Manual" in the pockets...

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Remember the WANG HQ building?

It was fairly nondescript except for the large word 'WANG' in the center of the top of each side, and whenever we drove past it my brother and I would snicker -- "heh, heh, it says wang!", "look, its wang is showing!", "does that mean it's full of wang?", &c. We were unparalleled wits, I tell you.

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Joke

At the local office..

we always drove past before the sales force were out on the road, so the carpark was full of WANG cars

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penny arcade

"Can you guys say anything without 'wang' in it?"

"Of course we wang. Can. Can wang."

*uncomfortable look*

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Pint

The best cell phone they sell is the iphone

F22 running Android < http://www.solomobi.com/category.asp?lx=news >.

Their Old Man phone is interesting, too.

Web site is hosted in the US by Ecommerce - within reach of Jobs,

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Knock off merchant

I'm loving the fact that this site watermarks all the images of the knock off phones they sell, to prevent anybody stealing their intellectual property.

Oh the irony.

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Coat

Am I the only one to ask..

.. if it works handsfree?

The dirty Mac with the tissues, thanks.

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Paris Hilton

In Denmark

There is a place called 'Slettenstrand'

Which in Dutch means 'Beach of sluts'... and yes, I went there (how could I resist?)

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Those Austrians again!

Austria permits personalised number plates, with the proviso that it must be preceded by the first letter of the city where the vehicle is registered, i.e. WElREG-1 if in Vienna, or SELREG1 if Salzburg. So when the international greetings card co. Anker International had 5 cars in Vienna registered, they read WANKER 1 through WANKER 5. Somewhere there's a photo of all 5 parked in line in the company parking lot!

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Appropriate name

Quite appropriate, Nokia's have been w*nk for quite sometime. Can't even do a sliding phone without the screen dying after a while (cable metal fatigue).

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Coat

And oldie back from the days of Wang Laboratories.....

What I want to know is what their receptionist at their branch in Cologne, Germany, says when she picks up the phone....

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This post has been deleted by its author

Happy

And the French Answer to STD's?

Never to be forgotten, the smallish, but exciting town in west France.... Condom.

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Joke

Near Wank...

Somewhere near the Wank berg is a campsite, run by the "Hell" family. (Hell is German for light or bright.) There is a roadsign to their campsite, it uses typical German efficiency and has only 2 words :

CAMPING HELL ->

Makes me laugh more than the photo somewhere of me and a mate pretending to pleasure ourselves in front of the Wank Bahn cable car station sign.

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Don't forget the Jizz mouse

Got one of them when I was in Hong Kong recently.

Proof? Oh ok...

http://www.31cn.net/products/enlist.asp?m=2878

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Just viewing ur link made me a hacker.

Microsoft JET Database Engine error '80040e21'

The Microsoft Jet database engine stopped the process because you and another user are attempting to change the same data at the same time.

/viewproduct.asp, line 209

Click a link and you're not viewing but CHANGING data :)

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