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back to article The Sun saves parasailing donkey's ass

There's some top quality news today for the animal lovers among you: the Sun has moved with lightning speed to save the Sea of Azov's very own flying donkey, Anapka, who recently found herself on the wrong end of an asinine promotional stunt: The Telegraph reports that the beast is none the worse for her ordeal, with a vet …

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Bronze badge
WTF?

**facepalm**

Did The Sun pay for the donkey? If they did, they are idiots for letting the people who owned that donkey profit from it. FOOLS!

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Silver badge

Job Offer

No doubt the Sun will offer the donkey a job as a journalist or even a sub-editor, given that it's a proven high-flier.

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Paris Hilton

Assuredly the right Ass

So the Sun goes out there and says "we want to pay you lots of Roubles for the Parasailling dongkey".

Now .. call me a it sceptical, but don't you wonder if someone just dragged them along and went .. there .. thats the donkey .. pay up.

{Paris .. because the Donkey is her Best Friend Forever ?}

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Save?

How did they save the donkey? Did they go over, collect said donkey, bring it to the UK and plonk it in a lovely green field with other saved donkeys?

As far as I can see they simply confirmed the donkey was in good health.

Am I missing something here?

What an ass of a story from the Sun as always.

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Anonymous Coward

c-uke

Fed cucumbers?! Eugh - what evil will it have to endure next eh

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"What is clear, though, is that Anapka's flying days are over. "

It's not clear to me. The Sun says only that “she will never be forced to parasail again”

She may have got a taste for it.

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Grenade

They just made an ass of themselves

Terrible... just terrible. I mean theres this donkey being forced to do an activity that us meer mortals have to shell out loads for. So damn right they should stop it from happening again.

Let that mule pay for his own abseiling like the rest of us. Like the old saying goes, "No free rides. Pay with either gas, grass or ass". ;-)

But on a serious note I think most are making this out to be too big a deal. The beast was not injured. Was it stupid on the owners behalf? Hell yea. Was he intentially trying to cause the animal disress or harm? No, I don't think he is that clever that he could pull something like that off. And if indeed he wanted to harm or disress the animal there would have been far easier ways to go about it.

*Ducks and waits for the firestorm*

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Thumb Up

Basically...

Someone thought of that headine and spared no expense to be able to print it.

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Coat

im not surprised the Sun got involved.

After all, how could they resist a photo of a Russian ass in the air at the beach

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Happy

And the news is....

....today, not only don't we have any news, nor does anyone else.

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g e
Silver badge

Meanwhile in other news

25,000 people die in a horrifying earthquake, buy, hey, the donkey's safe, OK?

Mind you the mental state of most sun readers is 'unclear' at best.

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Flame

I am now dumber for having read this

As the title suggests, i think i've lost a few IQ points after reading this mockery of the english language. I come from the land that has butchered the english language quite dramatically, and yet still reading your comment its become apparent to me that i now sit lower on the food chain for having read your babble...

In an effort to help prevent all humanity from becoming dumber at the hands of your linguistic skills, might i suggest that you enlist in the services of an english tutor, purchase a copy of english for dummies, a dictionary, and a spell checker. Might i also suggest that you install and use firefox as your browser, it has a built in real time spell checker that checks your spelling as you type.

Taking these simple steps will not only help prevent people from suffering the same fate i have, it'll make you a better person, or at least a more comprehensible person. Stop the madness, people in general are already dumb enough, they dont need to be dummied down any further at the hands of you.

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Grenade

Yes, that is evident.

You seem to have become dumber quite quickly;

1. I should be always be capitalised (when used as a first person singular pronoun, at least five times plus an "I've")

2. English has a capital E (four times)

3. Firefox has a capital F (you're using it as a proper noun)

4. You need to add an apostrophe in the word don't (it's known as a contraction)

Taking these simple steps will not only help prevent people from suffering the same fate [that] I have, it will make you a less hypocritical person.

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Bronze badge
Flame

Cruel!

I find it totally cruel that the donkey was not issued with a regulation straw hat with two holes in it, anything could have happened!

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FAIL

Lets face it.....

....when all the fuss dies down, it's gonna be petfood anyway.

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This post has been deleted by its author

WTF?

Dear Deidre

MY SICK BOSS DEMANDS PARAGLIDING OR THE ASS GETS IT

Dear Deidre,

I fear I have made a bit of an ass of myself.

My boss keeps trying to get me to have sex with him. I'm worried he'll find a reason to sack me unless I give in, or go parasailing above a beach. I'm a Donkey and it's taken me over a year to land myself a new job after being made redundant (previous attempts at Zorbing were fruitless.) I was over the moon that at last I could get back into work and start saving up so me and my boyfriend can move in together eventually (I'm a gay donkey.)

Every day he finds excuses to get me to parasail, or stay after the others have gone home so we can be on our own whilst he fondles my parasailing strappage.

I love my boyfriend very much and I wouldn't dream of being unfaithful. I've told my boss how I feel about my boyfriend and that we've been together for over two years. He just laughs and says I can do better and then boots me up the ass (literally) over a beach in Russia.

What's really worrying me now is whether he'll find a reason to sack me unless I do what he wants. He's said as much in the past, and hence all the parasailing shennigans.

I really can't afford to lose this job. There aren't many around where I live, and it would be so unfair as I know I do my work really well.

YOURS,

DONKEY.

Deidre Says,

Well if I were you I'd just use a condom before parasailing. Also I would observe the unrealistically sexy looking people in the photograph which we like to make out are the average couple but really we know the average couple look like they've got faces like smacked asses.

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The Sun does shine

out of their ass

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Silver badge

I must think

...of something vaguely cruel and newsworthy to do to a donkey for next summer's donkey-rescuing season. Money to be made there.

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Go

Has anyone got..

Rupert Murdoch's phone number? I have got a pig that can fly and cow that jump over the moon. I must be able to make a few quid out of those two..

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Note to self

Keep your ass on the ground.

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Dear Sun,

Please learn about grammar. Your headline makes no sense, unless the ass in question was owned by a woman. It should be: "We've Saved an Ass" or "We've Saved Anapka the Ass".

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ParASSailing

How did we miss this one?

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Coat

Your ass is mine!

Hee haw.

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This post has been deleted by its author

Coat

Are you sure that donkey isn't...

Lord (Jeffrey) Archer of Weston-super-Mare? Plenty of donkeys but only one real ass.

I'll get my (straw) hat...

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Joke

Asses aweigh, my friends...

Assinine, indeed. Will the Sun pony-up again, if we launch a BP exec up there, instead?

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Coat

Finally!

Finally we get to use the immortal line "Drop the dead donkey".

Oh, it's not dead yet... Errr... Um... How embarrassing... What I meant to say was, I'm sure it'll be pining for the Fjords soon; if the Currant Bun's looking after it ;)

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Flame

Annnd... is it horseracing & steeplechase next?

So, the Snu is now the premier champion on animals rights? Good on them!

Next up, they will be calling for bans of the horrifically cruel sports of horseracing, steeplechase and greyhound racing, not to mention fox hunting.

Right?

Right?

Right?

Thought not, back to your regularly scheduled program, switch off your brain, believe everything the media tells you.

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Thumb Up

Flying donkeys

Now the Sun is associated with flying donkeys, not just the donkeys that read it!

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Coat

Donkey Found On The Moon

As the Sunday Sport would have it.

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