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back to article 'Howling lesbian gangs' greet jailed Lindsay Lohan

Bespeckled thespiatrix jailbird Lindsay Lohan probably won't survive the estimated 23 days she'll spend in chokey, if the Sun is to be believed. Lohan's prison mugshot yesterday. Pic: Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department Lohan was greeted yesterday at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California, by "the …

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Heart

heartz

i am in love with Lindsay Lohan. that is all.

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flowerz

I didn't know you got Web access in the segregation unit.

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Heart

Amen

Ah-men, my brother. Paris out now!

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Can't beat The Sun

My wife loves this sort of crap, if it's written down it has to be all true.

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Pint

I'd love

I'd love to go into a rant about how i believe the tabloids are one of the main reasons our society is going down the proverbial shitt*r but its lunch time and i'm going down the pub to have a pint and think about Miss Lohan and Miss Hilton in some sort of mud filled pit.

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Happy

Can't beat the Sun readers.. I've tried..

If you think the articles are good, you should read the comments section. Poolie_Pete's is currently my favourite:

"If it was England she would not of even got sentenced, she would of got 50 hours community service and then started partying with Jordan..."

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FAIL

The Sun....

... and obvious bullshit go together hand in hand.

Nothing whatsoever will happen to Ms.Lohan, she's nowhere near any other prisoners.

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Anonymous Coward

What a load of shit.

Personal experience has taught me not just to take what the papers say with a pinch of salt, but to completely and utterly ignore them as most "scoop", "exclusive", "insider knowledge" from the tabloids is completely made up by the reporter twisting a simple sentance into a load of nonsense.

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Bronze badge

It's the "silly season" for news.

They'll make any bollocks up, just to flog the rag.

Just like Lester's article about a 'stuffed' dog.*

Hope her time in the nick isn't harsh, I don't think she did much wrong.

*I'd give my left arm for Lester's job. Not my right arm, otherwise how could I set out the playmobil characters??

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Flame

tc tc tc

The register... Paying up to get past the wonderful paywall into the garden of Murdock... tc tc tc...

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Erm...

Lindsay who?

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Paris Hilton

Pictures or Playmobil!

I won't believe in howling lesbian gangs otherwise (although there was a karaoke night in Brighton which came close)

Paris: ahead of the crowd

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Time for a slew of new emoticons:

A Playmobil one, and a LiLo one?

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truthy

Is this a word like 'normalcy'? Is it supposed to mean 'truthful'?

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Joke

> Ye Title <

It's not 'supposed' to mean anything, it *does*.

It's a perfectly cromulant word, just like 'endumbening'.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: truthy

There was a whole thing about 'truthiness' with regards GWB, I seem to recall.

You know, it's OK to use wordplay sometimes.

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@deadlockvictim

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truthiness

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Coat

Especially..

..while attempting to disrobe a drunken lexicographer..

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Reg guidelines

Don't i remember some previous Reg comment guidelines against allusion to prison rape, showers, picking up the soap etc? Its a fairly brutal mob-justice theme, and much as i think she's a rubbish actress and a bad driver, she doesn't deserve all this slavering over her fate at the hands of the gruesome US penitentiary system and its inmates.

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Coffee/keyboard

US penetratory system?

Which box is that on my visa application?

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Alert

Whats a jailbrid?

Is that a lesbian jailbird?

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Stop

Overcooked broccoli??

That truly is cruel and unusual punishment! Say it's not so! Will somebody please PLEASE think of the children!

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Paris Hilton

They should remake Prisoner Cell Block H...

They should remake Prisoner Cell Block H with Lohan and Paris. They could call it - Prisoner Cell Block Duh!!!!!!

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Coat

You are now on a CHAAAARGE!

For INsubordination!

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Thumb Up

HAHA!

That programme rules! Best Australian TV show ever - that's not saying much about their telly really is it! Glad I'm not the only sad **** who watches it!

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g e
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Hahaha

First to make her cry. Classic.

Is she allowed to profit from selling her tale of being 'banged' up? Thought USA considered that proiting from crime.

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Sometimes

The judge can rule that they are not allowed to earn any profit from their crime/incarceration, but it's not an actual law on the books.

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Actually there are

They are sometimes referred to as "Son of Sam" laws, (after a particular serial killer). However, according to Wikipedia anyway, California's version of that law was ruled unconstitutional in 2002.

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Paris Hilton

Just

what would this scenario look like?

Playmobile it for me

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Anonymous Coward

Hoorah for the balance! £

now what is it again? 6 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 2 + the entire Nosferatu family + 1.

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Anonymous Coward

Prisoner Cell Block H

Wondering why the thought of Lohan has put the dodgy Cell Block H into my head.

Perhaps they should film here incarceration (documentary style) and show it on late night TV.

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"in chokey"?

Is that a euphemism for 'non consensual cunnilingus'?

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Ah this is awkward...

Judging by this comment I'm not sure that that girl you are seeing, erm, is

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Happy

@Rogerborg

"Is that a euphemism for 'non consensual cunnilingus'?"

Respect the idea.

Happily this is one of many Britishisms for being in prison. As is "Banged up," which is a reference to the noise of heavy steel doors slamming.

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Erich von Gotha now writing at the Sun?

Amazing stuff.

Moar!

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Anonymous Coward

I don't believe it for a moment

"turkey, served with apple sauce, broccoli and coleslaw, with a glass of milk"

Turkey needs bread sauce or cranberry, apple is for pork.

And no potatoes - no carbohydrates - that really is a bad diet.

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Akins diet

I thought that this was the Akins diet? Mind serving broccoli....if that was me I would want at least 3 days remission for eating it.

TT

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I don't believe it for a moment

"Turkey needs bread sauce or cranberry, apple is for pork."

I read that as the apple sauce is for dessert.

Turkey is best with gravy and mashed potatoes, and a side of girl-girl action.

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Unhappy

Believe it

Well, all except the part about the apple sauce. That didn't come from an apple.

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Silver badge

Don't give her any publicity.

The silly little girl isn't in General Population, she's in isolation. Basically, she won't see anyone on the inside other than the guards. If you squint, she's on a coupe week holiday away from the gutter press. Should prove relaxing for her, at least in her tiny little mind. I'll bet a nickle she'll be back ... Lack of a basic education and recidivism is an ugly thing.

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Coat

Biopic

"Lohan will reportedly being going full-frontal for Linda Lovelace biopic.. " That's gonna really suck.

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sick of celebrity

why the hell should she have such good treatment. surely there are a few decent looking women cons in there too?

i find it so odd that the USA is seemingly so soft on drink drivers.

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California dreaming

Did the Sun's ace reporters swing by the Oakland pot farms--covered in today's Register--en route to Los Angeles?

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reminds me of my favourite t-shirt...

"Cover me in honey and throw me to the Lesbians" :)

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Paris Hilton

if her acting skills were better

she wudnt be in prison at all

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Bootnote Question

Regarding "* The drooling masses won't have to wait long to get a piece of this action. Lohan will reportedly being going full-frontal for Linda Lovelace biopic Inferno. In this case, it really is a matter of "if the story demands it"."

Will the younger LL also get intimate with a dog to replicate some of the more unusual behaviour of the other older LL, if the story demands it? Let the people speak.

I'd pay a fiver to see that in a cinema.

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Coat

Re: I'd pay a fiver to see that in a cinema.

Oh dear. English Heritage are going to have to lower their admission prices to compete with that.

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@Citizen Kaned

"i find it so odd that the USA is seemingly so soft on drink drivers."

Oh its simple. Politicians are not going to pass laws to lock them selfs up. Sacramento is the state capitol of California. In Sacramento I've never seen so many damn bars and liquor stores in my life . Lindsey is locked up California

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FAIL

Lohan what ?

Who realy cares about this ?

If you are adult enough to stuff up and not listen to the judge the first time tough luck.

Pity they will not be keeping her in there for the whole time, maybe they should and then charge her $1000 per day for the holiday suite as well.

There will be no next time one would hope.

AND as for making money out of the experience all the money made aught be confiscated under the proceeds of crime rules.

Silly silly spoiled brat.

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