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back to article El Reg marks Steve Jobs for termination

It's come as quite a surprise to Vulture Central, but we've just found out that El Reg Strategy Boutique operative Philip Mitchell has been planning the assassination of Steve Jobs. The proof comes in the form of this teaser pic of Jobs we use to illustrate our insights into the wonderful world of Apple. According to one irate …

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Grenade

Images

Does anyone have a photo of John, St Louis?

I'm sure the art dept. would have some fun with that.

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Silver badge

Hmm

Sounds like a cultural misunderstanding. It doesn't suggest anything of the sort to me.

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Pint

Nope

Nah, the guys just crazy. I've lived my whole life in the US (barring occasional trips) and it likewise says nothing of the sort to me. It's Friday, go get a bear and ignore the moron.

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A bear?

I love a post-work Friday evening bear with the lads..

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Troll

A bear?

I'm not expert on the subject, but something tells me that if one were to "go get a bear" then "ignoring the moron" would be an automatic, considering you'd have your hands full with the bear and things like surviving, paying any attention to morons would only prove to speed your demise...

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FAIL

Beer obviously

OK, it was late Friday, cut me some slack, I was only off by one vowel. Fail, as my ability to spot typos obviously did.

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Big Brother

Well, well....

1) Get US "unitary" president to take ombrage at Steve Jobs.

2) Prez decides to put Steve on deathlist (no oversight required).

3) CIA-controlled drone armed with Hellfire missiles starts from Sunnyvale AFB (violating a few dozen laws no-one cares about any longer)

4) ???

5) Fanboi rage!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: ???

6) PROFIT!!!

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Coat

Whelp...

I guess our country truly is leading the world in "fastest mass-retardation ever."

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Anonymous Coward

Re: fastest mass-retardation ever!

It's called public "education".

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Paris Hilton

Evangelical Christian Fundamentalism.

More like.

Why do people laugh at creationists?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BS5vid4GkEY

Paris, she also spends a lot of time on her knees.

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Not necessarily a yank

He hasn't indicated anywhere that he is from the land obesity, so he may not be a Septic. He could be Senegalese:

http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en&safe=off&client=opera&q=saint+louis+senegal&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=Saint+Louis,+Saint-Louis,+Senegal&gl=uk&ei=wi03TPzHHZLu0wTzpv3oAw&ved=0CBwQ8gEwAA&t=h&z=12

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Boffin

RE: Not necessarily a yank

Somewhat less likely to be called "John" then, I'd have thought...

http://babynamesworld.parentsconnect.com/category-senegalese-names.html

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A Yank it is, if they say so

Well it tecnically COULD be a Senegalese using a fake name and sending mail by ssh-ing to a box in the US and referring ot the US as his country just for the fun of it, but that may be a bit of a convoluted scheme just for a rant wouldn't it?

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Coat

But ...

Maybe that is just what he WANTS you to think.

Drop some "local" references to give people the impression your from somewhere when your not.

Mines the one with the Foil lining and matching cap.

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From the land of obesity?

So he's from England then?

I've seen my share of overweight Brits -- whole families of them usually. Most often I see them boarding the plane, heading to America for a bit of a holiday, or heading home afterwards. How do I know they're Brits? Well, the accent's usually a bit of give away. The fact that the plane is departing from or headed to Heathrow or Gatwick is another. Sometimes they're waving their passports around too. Not to hard to figure out really.

And you also have that brilliant TV show: "You are what you eat," that showcases some of the less svelte Brits.

Pot kettle, black

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Anonymous Coward

You need to consider cultural differences

The US may speak American, but the differences are soon apparent. The UK does not appear in the top 10, alongside Iraq, Iran, China & Afghanistan for gun ownership or executions.

Putting a cross on the photo of someone may well be a request to have them killed if you live there.

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...and pernicious PC

From personal experience - working there, visiting and a Merkin gf (long dumped) - this cross nonsense seems more like the common USian disease of pernicious, ingrown and cancerous political correctness.

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Anonymous Coward

Oh come now...

It's not political correctness, it's just plain old nutjobness. (no, that's not an incitement to headbutt Steve Jobs...) Either that or stupidity

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Badgers

Oh come on!

You just have to redo the picture with telescopic cross hairs on it now.

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Dead Vulture

Must be Friday

He kind of has a point -- it's a bit rude and not exactly a badge of unbiased journalism.

Suggested alternative: Maybe you could go all Rene Magritte, and illustrate Apple stories with a picture of an actual apple. Ceci n'est pas tres objectif.

Gravestone, obviously.

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IR

Not really

If anything, a cross over the picture of someone means they have already been eliminated (and not necessarily meaning they have been assasinated, they might just no longer be a suspect, have dropped out of a race, no longer in contention for a prize, etc)

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Coat

Do Tell !

"Suggested alternative: Maybe you could go all Rene Magritte, and illustrate Apple stories with a picture of an actual apple".

Nah.....

Placing an apple on top of his head,

would be a far more appropriate incitement.

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Pint

1 question

As a USian and long time El Reg reader, when has El Reg been unbiased? Especially in relation to His Jobsness! Also I guess I have worked in IT in California for too long but I have not seen this political correctness in quite some time.

Beer cause 2 hours is far too long to have to wait for one

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Stop

No.

"but in this country (US), that kind of photo is an indication you want someone injured."

No, John, it isn't. A great deal of us in this country see that as a picture with a red X on it, with no further meaning without context. Please refrain in future from projecting your opinions onto an entire country. You make us look bad to the rest of the world.

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Anonymous Coward

@Steve

"A great deal of us in this country see that as a picture with a red X on it"

That's sort of obvious, but it does have meaning. What I'd like to ask you is, "what does the big red X mean?"

While I don't necessarily believe it is encouraging someone to assassinate him, I don't believe for a moment that it's a badge of civility either. IOW, it's just not very nice.

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Heart

"You make us look bad to the rest of the world."

I'd been wondering who that was.

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Unhappy

It wasn't?

Then I suppose I'll have to cancel my plane tickets. Darn :(

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Grenade

Anyone have a picture of

John ,St. louis. Just want to what happens if it gets a red cross painted on it

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Happy

@AC re: big red cross

Then he's surely targeted, for condemnation.

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Maybe it means thar be treasure

I say the big red X just means there's gold dubloons hidden behind his face. If he laughs too hard, get a bucket under his nose, and quick.

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Anonymous Coward

Please, Please, Please, Please, Please,

replace the cross with concentric circles.

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Jobs Halo

qwerty

Just to shut up John's 'pathetic grab bag of bitchin™', please remove the red X of termination, and apply the cross hair of 'give Steve a hug™' or 'the laser pointer of love™' between his eyes. Thanx.

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Title

Just don't read The Register. It's not a big deal.

Oh, and get a life, mine's fine.

-Steve

--

Sent from my iPhone

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Ah, err, not exactly

I think you'll find that the cannon mantra is "not that big of a deal"

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Headmaster

Hmm, actually

I think you, Pierre, will find that you're after 'canon', unless you were thinking about the 30mm loading mantra :)

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Silver badge

Erm, as a matter of fact...

... now that you mention it the email-firing habits of Stevie J. do share a few characteritics with the 30 mm garden variety cannon.

But you are right, I might have loosed control over my letter-repetition disability in this case. Is it to late too say its the spell-checker's fault? I mean these things are not very reliable. You could even say that their intentionnally bobby-trapped. Damn, I guess its to late for that excuse now, I should of though of it earlier. Etc etc...

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FAIL

Wibble

And will Mr Mitchell be getting his brother Grant to do it?

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Well, he's unhappy...

...but it hardly qualifies as a flame of the week, does it?

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Anonymous Coward

I hope I'm the first to say...

TWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

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WTF?

Maybe he sent the letter to the wrong place

It looks more like something that should have been sent to the Onion, not to Vulture Central.

Or else John of St. Louis has a seriously warped mind and should seek professional aid immediately. The red X is commonly used to mark people who have been dropped or should be dropped from contention for a position, cf. http://www.spudart.org/blogs/randomthoughts_comments/A4441_0_3_0_C/

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Anonymous Coward

lol

lol what a retard, I hope he doesn't breed.

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LOL....

....now where's my shotgun...

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Anonymous Coward

Wut??

A bit too much imagination going on there. Perhaps replacing the double-expresso's with some camomile tea might help.

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grrr

fanbois are all the same - they whine about everything.

I bet the irate yank uses one bit of toilet paper (or bogroll as we call it in blighty) at a time after splashing it with aloe vera and sticking flowers up his nose to get rid of the smell of digested Vegemite sandwiches (rye bread, obviously). go find some trees and hug them, prefereably in Rothbury.

PS - I don't find my last joke raoulmoatly funny.

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@madmatttttttttttt

"fanbois are all the same - they whine about everything"

So are offensive gits - they attack everyone.

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Jobs Horns

Now I can't see the red-cross photo of Steve Jobs,

without seeing Eastenders' Phil Mitchell. And he got shot.

It's a conspiracy!

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Anonymous Coward

Riiiiiiiickeeeeeeee

duf,duf,dufdufdufdufdufduf

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WTF?

It's the what now?

"...pathetic grab bag of bitchin..."

Does this mean anything to anyone? My best guess is "picture", but I can't be sure...

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Boffin

Translation

He's saying el reg is filled with a bunch of whingers. Maybe el reg should put out a USian to Brit and Brit to USian guide to help those of us on different sides of the ocean.

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