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back to article Women would rather be on Facebook than on the toilet

A third of young women will check their Facebook account first thing in the morning, leaving having a pee and brushing their teeth till after they'd watered their Farmville crops. The frightening statistic came in a survey by lady-oriented US network Oxygen. The survey of 1600 18-35-year-old social media users - who have "Live …

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Paris Hilton

Simple Solution

Fed up of having to post important Facebook alerts before releaving yourself in the morning, girls?

Simply get WiFi and a laptop (or iPad*) and take care of all your social networking tasks while comfortably sat shaking your lettuce! Simple.

*Perhaps Apple have got a feminine hygiene idea here....?

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Exactly.

Don't women always claim they can multi-task?

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Joke

They do, but it's a lie.

If it were true, they could have sex AND have a headache at the same time...

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So basically ...

... most of "lady-oriented US network Oxygen" "18-35-year-old social media user" survey respondents are fucking clueless airheads?

I can deal with that.

::adjusts advertising budget accordingly::

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Anonymous Coward

not obvious conclusion

Although it would be easy and no doubt many will use this to make some comment on the sexes, it shows more clearly the lack of clear thinking in most heavy social networking users.

While quick to attach facebook's trust issues then posting compromising images.

I have found recently that while linkedIn is being swamped by recruitment consultants, some of the female ones are using profile pics that i would not personally think were in line with the business focus of the site.

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@ac Linkedn

I've recently been approached by someone on LinkedIn asking I add them as a contact, someone I've never met or any dealings with in the past.

I was about the second person to whom she requested the connection, one day later, the number of connections she had made has now gone up to double figures.

She's posted quite a nice little picture of herself. it's clear what she's up to, she's starting a new business up in the North of England, and she's approaching IT professionals, forming connections because she wants their technical expertise in doing the IT, the website for her company and she wants its on the cheap, ie. free.

Far be it for me to suggest she's using her feminine charms to get free support, free expertise from IT professionals.

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Anonymous Coward

My wife

Has just been given a friend's iPhone hand-me-down. No SIM but it's connected wirelessly to our home network. Should I be worried?

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Alert

Ooh, dangerous territory

You should, of course, realise that women's brains are not capable of comprehending such advanced technology. See here for the evidence:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMb8Csll9Ws

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@AC ("Ooh, dangerous territory")

Perhaps rather apt, given what this topic is about...

...have you read the comments on that YouTube video? Wow...

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NB
Badgers

oh hi

What the shitting christfuck is a 'live out loud lifestyle'? Other than some godaweful piece of marketing bullshit speak that is...

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Rob
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Go

Interpretation

I read that as drunk slappers

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Anonymous Coward

Well ...

It's the opposite of the shut-up-little-wifey lifestyle.

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Unhappy

Good... reason for a divorce

Missus is always breaking the laptop out and it feels that Mr Zuckerberg is the 3rd person in my marriage...

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Coat

Retaliation

Well maybe it's time to make her feel like Miss SluttySluttyJenny is the 4th person in that marriage then....

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Anonymous Coward

I "Live an out Loud lifestyle"

Says Betty, 46, from her mum's basement.

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Badgers

Errr

<gasp> I misread the title, leaving off the 'book' part... erm, sorry...

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Anonymous Coward

Hmmm,

Or in my wife's case, while she's sitting on the toilet..

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Pint

Sorry to be an Old Fart (tm)

But WTF is a "Live out Loud lifestyles"?

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N2
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Perhaps

Its a web 2.0 term for those who enjoy farting as loud as possible in public...

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Go

As Opposed To Men ...

... who view the toilet as a reading and relaxation room away from the chaos of daily life.

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Anonymous Coward

Really?

I must be gay or something. I shit and leave.

In fact, I'd much rather talk to my friends - via any available channel - than shit.

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Black Helicopters

I don't trust the goveremnt

but I don't emigrate do I. You can live with distrust if the benefits outweigh the perceived risk.

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Thumb Up

protip:

tin foil on the monitor may effect your ability to see where you are posting

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Jobs Horns

its affecting my iphone reception too.

123abc

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Anonymous Coward

Live Out Loud Lifestyle

Are you an active and sexual you woman? Do you know what you want from life and reach and seize it with carefully manicured nails? Do you love social networking and are the heart and soul of a party?

If yes, then *you* can be considered as not only having a Live out Loud lifestyle but also be considered for our euthanasia program for clueless fucking airheads.

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Stop

Bad Form!

Don't do that! Some of us need a shot at companionship, too, you know?

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On Facebook.....On The Toilet....

I thought the two were equivalent.

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Live Out Loud..

My guess is that this "lifestyle" primarily involves living your life and telling everyone about everything thing you are currently doing, are about to do, are thinking about doing, and your various random thoughts.

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Does that mean

I can live a "Shut the F*ck Up" lifestyle?

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I see

So it's like having a husband except several hundred facebook users share the pain.

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Live out loud lifestyle...

as opposed to a Go outside lifestyle?

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WTF?

(untitled)

"watered their Farmville crops", what's that a euphemism for ?

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I'd rather be on the toilet...

than on facebook.

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Flame

What's the difference?

Well, they're both just ways of having your morning crap...

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Lies, damn lies and surveys

The significant number is not the number asked, nor is the percentage of "respondents" who said X, it's the percentage of people that you asked who said X.

Ask 1600 users, get 1500 responses, of which 500 say they Facetweet first thing: might be significant.

Ask 1600 users, get 6 responses of which 2 admit to being saddos: not so very significant at all.

Polling shysters will, for obvious reasons, insist that the standard methodology is to ignore the non-respondents, rather than counting a non-response in the "Don't give a stuff, stop bothering me, you spaz" column.

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Headmaster

Really?

Facebook over sitting on the bog?

The toilet is the one place you are still king - unless the flush breaks. It's also the most peaceful place to be....when there isn't a plopping noise.

This guy, because he looks like he could be constipated

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biased survey is biased

was this survey one of the "fill this in to view the funny funny picture!!" ones? if so, remember the sort of people daft enough to actually do those :/

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Happy

Sleep with their PDAs? Seen worst.

The handbrake must have been a tiny furry mammal in a previous life as she won't go to sleep without gathering in hes nest her cell phone, music player (complete with headset and possibly charger), lipbalm, nail cutter and whatever appeared to have been of potential use at the time she went to bed. Let me tell you that waking up with the imprint of a bulky Nokia phone in the middle of the back and headset wire marks all across the face is NOT comfortable. Let me also tell you that Motorolla phones are really crap (the Nokia and Sony ones are still mostly functionnal after several years of that treatment. The longest any Moto one lasted was 2 month. The shortest, just 2 weeks).

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Pint

You needa see a lawyer

Divorce, the best thing that ever happened to me ... ;-)

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Aye,

old Nokia phones are as tough as old boots. I bounced one down the platform at King's Cross while running for a train a few years back, and it carried on working perfectly.

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re: You needa see a lawyer

«You needa see a lawyer»

Damn sure I do. I mean, I can't believe they actually CHARGE for those crappy Motorolla handsets.

Oh wait, did you actually mean "see a lawyer" about my relationship issues? That might be a good idea, although I would think that a good dedicated lawyer would probably be _more_ liable to sleep with her PDA, not less.

Anyway, I find this "small item gathering" pattern is actually kinda cute, in a weird kind of way.

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Paris Hilton

Whatever you do...

...don't google for "Live out loud lifestyle". The results will kill your branes.

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Bronze badge

Done it.

Ooops just done this one. Anyways it would appear that 'Life Coach Michael Moniz shares his stories, tips and activities to help you start living your life out loud! ... Lifestyle'. Presumably Mr Moniz has given Google the biggest bung.

No Idea what this is all about. Does this increase said females mptsa.... marginal propensity to sleep around, or not?

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Joke

I'd rather be on women

than on Facebook... *

* Not that I've ever been on Facebook.

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Joke

* Not that I've ever been on Facebook.**

** or on a woman, for that matter.

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"They also seem unconcerned about flashing their location".

Especially after six pints of Babycham.

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Joke

WTF?

"Live out loud" is a song by Christian Popaganda (typo intended) singer Steven Curtis Chapman, c for yourself:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Curtis_Chapman

So, this is a lifestyle this guy preaches? .... hm .... Now, I doubt true Christian women would do much on facebook ...let alone date random guyz on facebook? Are they not supposed to marry before the first time and owe obedience to their huzzy etc etc?

Seriously, this "term" is marketing bs!

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Chat

Isn't Facebook just a vehicle for women to just talk utter crap and gossip about nothing of any importance?

Just like your daughter spends 2 hours on your phone every night talking to her mates about nothing of any particular value, whereas your son will be playing computer games, out playing footy with his mates or building the next fusion reactor in his bedroom.

I grew up in a single parent family with a mother and sister (I have brothers too but they'd left home when I was in my formative years) and F**k me, 30 years later my sister still telephones my mother up at 7pm every night of the friggin week to talk about utter crap. Every night without fail.

Do I get on with my sister? You've got to be joking.

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Go

Gives A Whole New Meaning ...

...to the phrase "full of shit".

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