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back to article Colorado vampire drives woman into canal

An unnamed Colorado woman whose SUV ended up in a canal blamed the mishap on a vampire, 9news.com reports. The chilling Nosferatu incident happened on a dirt road in Mesa County, west of Denver. The driver told Colorado State Patrol operatives "she saw the vampire in front of her car so she put her SUV into reverse and went into …

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Joke

Reminds me

Of the story about the two nuns driving across Transylvania and are attacked by vampires. One nun says to the other "Show them your cross!". The other leans out the window and says "Fuck off, you bastards!"

Oh well, please yourselves...

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Joke

Two nuns driving down the road...

...Suddenly a VAMPIRE jumps out in front of the car. The first nun says, "Quick, Sister Sarah. Show him yer cross!" Sister Sarah sticks her head out the window and shouts, "OI!! Get out the fuggin' way ya toothy bastard!!"

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Anonymous Coward

two vampires

Two vampires were driving a nun through pennsylvania when a bus jumps out in front of them... oh hang on

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Joke

SNAP!

SNAP!

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Thumb Up

Two Nuns?

I Love to count!

One! Nun! Joke! Ha ha ha

Two! Nun! Jokes! Ha ha ha

etc

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Happy

Oh, come on!!

The posts are 3 minutes apart... Not enough time to be posted, moderated, listed and read.

Still, at least mine was cleaner (which is probably why the first one got all the bloody upvotes!!).

Anyway, speaking of nuns, 3 brides of Christ were in line for a confession. The first nun approaches the Mother Superior and says, "Reverend Mother, I have sinned. Last night I kissed a man on the lips." The Mother Superior looked harshly at the nun and said, "You have sinned in a most disgusting manner. Pleasures of the flesh are not our way. You must recite 50 Hail Mary's, but first, wash your mouth in the Holy Water!" As the nun walks off to the font the 3rd nun pushes past the second and says, "I'm going next 'cos if you think I'm gargling that after she's washed her arse in it you've got another think coming!!"

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Stop me if you've heard this...

There are two nuns driving...

Oh you have, sorry.

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Anonymous Coward

2 nuns cycling down a cobbled street

one says to the other, -i've never come this way before

-yes, it's the cobbles

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2 nuns in the bath

One says - where's the soap

the other - yes it does, doesn't it

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a feild of nuns

and some cucbuers

no waite that is a diffrent joke

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Joke

Two nuns in the bath

Nun 1: "Where's the soap?"

Nun 2: "Yes, it does, doesn't it?"

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Unhappy

@Tim #3 @ Uncle Slacky

I don't get it.

Anyone want to provide an explanation?

Or at least the accent I'm meant to be reading the "Where's the soap?" question in?

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Linux

@AC

I have to admit I did love that one about the cobbled streets.

Don't know what this story has to do with Technology, but the post did remind me of all the nun and vampire pron you can get online.

I will be gone for a few minutes now, thanx.

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Silver badge
Paris Hilton

But how do you notice it's a vampire?

Suppose Bela Lugosi suddenly appears in front of your car. Wouldn't you stop for this well-dressed, slightly pale gentleman. Though this being 2010, one would have to change this to "Suppose a boys band member suddenly appears in front of your car...."

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Thumb Up

That's an easy one

Stomp hard on accelerator, aim center of car at git, get Nobel Peace Prize.

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Go

RE: Suppose a boy band member steps in front of your car...

That would be about the only time I'd be happy about driving a Toyota!

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Insurance claim

I can't see an Insurance company paying out on that.

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Silver badge

Depends on what type of vampire

My insurance doesn't have exclusions for 'Act of Devil' only 'Act of God'.

Assuming that deities have opposite polarities it looks like they missed out on something.

"I'm sorry sir, you can't claim for Zombie damage as they are neither dead nor alive."

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Pint

But...

Supposed the vampire is vegan and just misunderstood...

Maybe he's been resurrected through a ritual gone awry when one of the henchmen added ketchup when it should've been blood.

Or maybe he's god in disguise.

Yeah, my childhood wasted on American educational TV shows and British cartoons.

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Bronze badge
Coat

Soppy... no nun joke here...

"Supposed the vampire is vegan and just misunderstood..."

So, would you drive a steak through his heart...?

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I live...

...about 15 miles away from where this happened. The whole Valley has been giggling about it all week.

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BKG

They let him out of DC

It was just Henry Waxman looking for someone else to screw.

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WTF?

It figures

We Coloradans are surrounded by idiots, apparently. First there was Balloon Boy, then there was the Bin Laden Avenger, now schizo drivers are swerving to avoid imaginary emo anti-heroes.

I'm about 1 second away from running away to live in Canada.

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Unhappy

No reflection

Yah, psychosis is a big laugh.

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Go

Twilight

If I saw one of the cast members, I'd sure as hell run them over and take them out of their misery...

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Coat

Trick of the light

I reckon she just mis-saw something. This is what happens when you drive at twilight.

I'll get me coat.....

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Dead Vulture

I blame television

This incident coincides with the new season of True Blood airing on HBO. This is an especially exciting season where the vampires and werewolves are at odds. There are some, as many as twenty-four percent of the country who believe that vampires are real.

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Another Roadside Attraction...

In the U.S. this is a business opportunity. Watch for the "See Vampire Canal" bumper stickers.

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