back to article Want to leave work early? Torch a filing cabinet

A Florida woman who started a fire in her office so she could get off work early has been jailed for nine months, the St Petersburg Times reports. Michelle Perrino, 40, of New Port Richey, executed her cunning plan on 12 May 2009, at Bayonet Point Oxygen. However, she subsequently blew it when she "mentioned the fire's origin - …

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Flame

Bayonet Point Oxygen ?

Oh come on!

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FAIL

Phew...

Sounds like a lot of very hard work in order to skive off...

... wait a minute.

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Happy

Perfect timing

Just in time for the birth?

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Flame

She did what?

Setting a fire something in a company with the word "oxygen" in the title?

Only nine months is a pretty good option, compared to a Darwin Award.

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Flame

She Is Lucky...

...the charge was not arson.

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Unlucky

If she hadn't made that mistake, nobody would have suspected anything. Filing cabinets burst into flames all the time.

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Coat

So was she...

fired for stupidity?

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nine months free holiday too

fucking bargain!

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The company sells oxygen...

and she started a fire? Isn't that exceptionally dangerous?

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Anonymous Coward

That depends

You know, what really matters is whether there was bottled oxygen near the filing cabinet rather than whether the company sells oxygen or had "oxygen" in its name.

You sound a bit like one of those police or security types who might stop someone for being in possession of a picture of a gun somewhere in the vicinity of an airport. You can't be too careful where children might be involved ...

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re: that depends

Indeed - technically speaking setting fire to an O2 shop would presumably have the same hazard. Or setting fire to BP's head office building. Not that I'm condoning that sort of thing.

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@ That depends

Of course, because we all know fire doesn't spread and 9 out of 10 businesses put words in their name for no reason.

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I hoped she enjoyed her afternoon off with pay...

... as it's probably the last one she'll ever have. Has no one in the USA heard of a 'sickie'?

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FAIL

Nope...

...they've never heard of 'overkill' either (reminds me of that Merkin who tried to loosen a stubborn car wheelnut by shooting it with his shotgun, thus spraying himself with ricocheting buckshot at point-blank range...)

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Pint

Since it's the US

a sickie probably wouldn't be paid

pint, caused many a sickie

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FAIL

Not onl;y that

It seems no-one in the USA has heard of the BOFH.

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Stop

Incorrect

You sir are incorrect Mr. Larrington. I write this from my desk across the pond where BOFH is a valuable training tool that I use to teach our inexperienced IT professionals.

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Coat

Bayonet Point Oxygen.

Why do I get the mental image of a group of soldiers standing round a prisoner and saying: "We have ways of making you breathe...."?

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Pint

Criminal what?!?

Criminal Mischief?? Isn't that like 'illegal naughtiness' or something??

Sounds like somehting the Hamburglar would get picked up for.

Beer, 'cos I'm off now as I can smell smoke.

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Anonymous Coward

@Jimbo 6

"...they've never heard of 'overkill' either (reminds me of that Merkin who tried to loosen a stubborn car wheelnut by shooting it with his shotgun, thus spraying himself with ricocheting buckshot at point-blank range...)"

My favourite is the attempt to remove the rotting whale carcass through the ingenious and subtle use of dynamite.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbidGgVDdaI

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fairly old trick

Some years ago one would see, along about lunch time, unusually dense crowds milling around the NE corner of Connecticut Ave. and K St. NW in Washington, DC. These crowds had cleared out of building being searched for a bomb. Eventually the police found that some meathead would call in a bomb threat so that the building would be evacuated and his meathead friend could enjoy an unhurried lunch with him. Both got prison sentences.

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Joke

Could have been worse

She was ordered to pay $4,800 damages and to have "no contact with Oxygen".

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It's been worse before

In 2007 a nurse in Houston Texas started a fire in her office to conceal the fact that she had failed to complete some paperwork on time. She killed three people and was sentenced to 25 years in prison.

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Anonymous Coward

9 months off work?????

Just enough time to squeeze out another drug dealer.

For more quotes to make your blood boil just visit.

The Daily hate Rag .com

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BPO

Bayonet Point is a town in Florida, for those who are wondering.

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Ahh, Florida

That explains a lot

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"Florida...

...America's penis." ...Homer Simpson.

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Stop

Re:Oxygen

Use common sense and read the damn article. It was in an *office* it didn't say that there was oxygen processing facilities present or even on the same site. It may be that the oxygen plant was on the same site in an entirely separate building, it may be that the plant was not even on the same site as the offices mentioned here. It may also be that they *resold* oxygen and said oxygen wasn't stored anywhere near the office as well.

It is idiotic to presume that just because they handle oxygen as a company that there would be oxygen present at an office, of which they may have more than one in multiple sites potentially for sales purposes.

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Re:Re:Oxygen

Don't get out much? Just about any modest or larger factory facility has an office of some sort in it... what do you want to bet that companies that handle oxygen have an office in the same building? You have to have somewhere for the management to put their chairs.

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Stop

Oxygen is not explosive....

.. it is only an oxidizer.

Fuels, like paper, wood, plastics, some metals, fine powders, some gases and petroleum products burn better w. additional oxygen or explode when in the right concentration with oxidizers.

You can't ignite oxygen so it won't explode and the gas bottles are designed to withstand typical fires w/o bursting.

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What are you doing?

Are you seriously trying to bring logic and common sense into a discussion ON THE INTERNET?

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@ Oxygen is not explosive

Yes, oxygen isn't explosive, it just makes other things oxidize so rapidly, potentially explosively if not an instant inferno which when it comes to human survival is a similar effect given it is not an environment comprised of 100% oxygen.

Gas bottles may be designed to withstand typical fires, but what about atypical fires... like those enhanced by a high % oxygen environment? I certainly wouldn't want to be in the building to find out.

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...it's not an oxidizer either

It's just oxygen, one of the three essential elements of fire.

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re @ That depends

True, god forbid a fire spread from our offices to our warehouse, that would be about 80 miles of the United Kingdom decimated!

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