back to article Orange gazes into 2050 Glastoball

Orange is celebrating 40 years of Glastonbury by imagining what it's going to look like in another 40 years (pdf). Wi-Fi already blankets almost all the UK's music festivals, with some even allowing punters access to the internet from their sleeping bags, but Orange foresee greater leaps in tent-connectedness. Virtual punters …

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Alert

Is this a joke??

I've just read through the pdf, and OMG, I've never read such a load of bollocks in my whole life.

I fear the day that the phone companies invade our lives to the point that we all have a bit of technology stuck on our fucking coat so that people can tell if you're bored or not without having to look at your face.

Also, ooh, look here!

Quote...

"Some mobile phones already have near-filed

communication chips (NFCs) built into them, allowing

you to pay for your coffee by waving your phone close

to a sensor. In 2050, you could have one of these chips

under your skin, making it an in-built festival pass, debit

card, ID card and even a phone, all in one. "

Yes! We'll all just be micro chipped! I'm not fucking making it up, it's on page 7! How did you miss that!

This HAS to be a spoof!

Someone tell me it's just a clever joke, oh please.

Words have actually failed me.......

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WTF?

the RFID system the company is testing for feeding staff at the event.

Using RFID to feed people seems a little far fetched, or does a food parcel pop-out whenever you pass a feeding station?

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Flame

"Wenn ich WOMAD höre ... entsichere ich meinen Browning!"

Tedious earnest granola-powered world music jerkoffs. That is all.

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Ugh

They keep trying to control us don't they, "get the kids used to it, the rest of em are already wise to the down side"...

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Big Brother

Call me a sad old fart but...

The part about wearing sensors to display our mood reminded me of a short story I read in Dragon magazine in about 1983. In the story, wearing such sensors (and displays) was mandatory, due to the stress caused to those around them by insensitive clods. OK so far, I hear, but this meant that everyone was permanently in a state of oh-sh*t-what-if-I-upset-someone paranoia about social interactions, because "infractions" (saying stuff that upsets someone, mostly) caused fines etc. A more f*cked up society cannot be imagined.

In hindsight, I'm not entirely sure I agree with the author's assumptions, but it makes you think a bit.

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Stop

Less is more!

When I go to glasto, I'm glad I don't have my computer - phone is used to find friends, but that aside once the battery runs out by Saturday morning I'm actually much happier. Back to the old days of arranging to meet "by the cider bus" - and if people are late, you just have another beer!

My ideal festival would be a blanket ban on mobiles and wifi !

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Anonymous Coward

Oh no my friend, you've got it all wrong

Apparently, the Glastonbury experience is going to be one of a mass orgy of consumption of the services provided by Orange. They'll be no place for you with your old fashioned clothes that don't show everyone what you're thinking and your desire to talk to people face to face. Orange can't make money out of that, can they!

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