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back to article Middle-aged sex is crap: Official

A study of 1,752 weary adults has shown that after the age of 45, it's downhill all the way when it comes to getting your end away. The rot actually sets in at 40, according to Kwai Garlic, which commissioned the survey. Three-quarters of those quizzed said that's the age at which sex started to become less of an earth-moving …

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Unhappy

"down" to 22 minutes per week?

I must have missed something (or rather, am missing).

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Paris Hilton

IT Angle?

Mathematically interesting, but the IT angle is....?

Well over 50 myself so found it difficult to even read the article.

Paris - because I have never used her before and never will again.

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FAIL

Re:

The IT angle is -- of course -- that stronger glasses/spectacles are needed to see the bootnotes heading.

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Anonymous Coward

Kwai Garlic?

You're not coming near me with your breath smelling like that!

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Coffee/keyboard

Another bloody survey labelled Official?

I'd say something but I probably haven't got the energy to drag my sagging body to the keyboard...

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Paris Hilton

Is it so wrong..

....to request a Playmobil depiction of this?

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Bronze badge
Coat

Is it worth it?

It'd be either a couple of saggy Playmates (terminology?) in a bed just reading a book, or a darkened room. What's the point?

I'll get my dressing-gown...

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Unhappy

a

I think you'll find that may be just for those who choose not to experiment. It's no surprise that most BDSM groups are full of middle ages folks, often who've divorced from boring partners.

Unhappy because more of us young people should be adventurous too.

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Anonymous Coward

the ages of 29, 32 and 36

Why the dips in form at ages 30-31 and 33-35?

We need to know.

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Anonymous Coward

maybe

30-31 Marriage

33-35 Kids

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Unhappy

Spookily truthful

Those buggers must've been reading my diaries!

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Silver badge

The next questions

Is there a tie with the medications and obesity studies? Do the meds make us less randy and does pumping all that extra mass 'round the middle mean we tire quicker? Really, I need to know what to expect in the next all too few years.

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Coat

there i fixed it :)

'round the middle mean we tyre quicker?

ok ok im going

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Coat

@ does pumping all that extra mass 'round the middle mean we tire quicker?

yes, we spare tyre quicker

I'll get me coat

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Anonymous Coward

Shit

I'm 44, and that article was written by someone with a spycam in my house (a low light one, because the lights are off)

Bastards.

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Unhappy

Once a week?

I'll be lucky

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Once a week?

Obviously you're not a fan of the Carry On films otherwise you'd know that "Once a week is enough for any man."

Dr. Tinkle (Kenneth Williams): Matron, you may not realize it but I was once a weak man!

Matron (Hattie Jacques) : Doctor, once a week is enough for any man!

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Silver badge

Look on the Bright Side

When Sex is Bad is Love Missing and Passion AWOL?!.

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Happy

Pictures or it didn't happen

Oh, so that's why there are no piccies...

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Coat

Mid Life Crisis??

That's why you see so many over 45's driving high powered sports cars with women half their age , an extension of their whatever.

Was only getting started at 45 having sired my second daughter around that age.

Mines is the one with the Canadian Pharmacy blue pills in the pocket.

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Tai Chi

...is the way forward. It'll keep you fit and healthy and full o' beans. Made a *huge* difference to my sex life.

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Pint

Still Randy at 46

It's absolutely no problem for me. I'm still quite Randy at 46 and quite able to perform. My lovely accountant girlfriend age 30 is giving me the workout of my life and helping me burn a ton of calories and shed the middle. Nutt'n but love. Get in shape and get back to the shaggin, I say.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Still Randy at 46

"I am very virile and have a hot young girlfriend but I don't feel the need to boast about it to strangers on the internet."

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@Sarah Bee

When you're 46 you might have changed your mind.

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Gold badge

Hear, hear

Best way to lose weight is good cardio. Sex fits the bill.

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FAIL

@Sarah Bee - Still Randy at 46

Hey Sarah, you seem sarcastic and regard that guy as boasting, but this IS a discussion on whether you can still be randy in middle age. Therefore his post is relevant and valid.

It's no different from (say) a discussion on a Dynocorp Eyeblaster video card where someone says it doesn't work with Linux versions after 2.4. Then someone else says his Eyeblaster video card works fine with v2.6.23 - and you chip in to accuse him of boasting!

To add to the statistics, I am well over 45 and don't have the problem either, although (to my knowledge) I have never tried it with an accountant. In fact if anything it has got better as I have grown calmer about it as I have got older.

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Thumb Down

It's always all downhill when you're going down a hill....

So they measured how people contextualise sexual encounters and gave us some random statistics describing how people felt about their bodies at the exact time they were ticking the box.

So much of this can be culturally biased, Why does anyone pay for this sudo scientific nonsense?

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Unhappy

you got me

I tried typing 'sudo scientific nonsense' on a Linux command line and my computer froze up! What was that about?

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sudo intelligence

I tried it to, but got "sudo: scientific: command not found" instead of my computer freezing.

similar results for `sudo intelligence` and `sudo teach me to spell`.

Curiously , `sudo make me a sandwich` had a slightly different result.

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Unhappy

When you're going downhill, you pick up speed.

So why do I feel like I'm slowing down?

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Thumb Down

ROFL

Unbelievable piece of fiction, as clearly the only people who commented in the poll were the sex starved portion of the 45+ population. Sex is fabulous, with the right partner of course... ;)

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Coat

Rubbish!

I'm 55 and have sex nearly every night.

I nearly had it last night, and nearly had it the night before and so ad infinitum.

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Grenade

45 is "middle aged"?

Really?

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Bronze badge

45 is very middling!

0 - 30 young

30 - 60 middle

60 - * old

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Pint

Not really.

"Middle aged" would be life expectancy divided by two. So 45 would only be middle-aged if your life expectancy were 90 years old.

45 is therefore POST middle-aged, unfortunately.

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@Sarah

Spot on, as usual :-)

(I'm 58 and I admit nothing)

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Go

Re: Still Randy at 46

Accountant you say? Phwoar!

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Happy

Ah! memories...

"while 64 per cent only make love with the lights off"

On our honeymoon, the wife wanted to make love with the lights on, so I left the car door open.

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Thumb Up

Hey, read it all...

It's a study on...married couples...

The counter study should be made in a place like Pattaya, where at 45 you are a young springy buck getting ready for the second threesome of the day...

Up, because the article is already full of downess

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Flame

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's more fun with a younger woman.

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Paris Hilton

"completely shattered"

Is this a problem? Surely if you've any energy left at the end then you stopped too soon.

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Anonymous Coward

For what it's worth...

THIS is not the way it is supposed to be. I am 62. But look to be in my 40's -early 50's. I am not a vegetarian, but eat more than my share of vegetables. I have been ( 4 yrs ago ) a huge steak / chops & ribs eater. I wondered WHAT IS HAPPENING to my libido?? FIX IT!!!! ... NOW it's salads. Poultry and Fish, ( baked ). Oatmeal. Fruit, and such. My blood-pressure is MUCH better. Proper Sleep aids memory. Taking Vitamin C crushed into powder later in the day, along with the Oatmeal for breakfast helps keeps arteries clear of plaque. This ALONE aids male potency. And confidence. The great thing is I am now sought after. Again Flabby, NO. Exhausted, NO. Running NO. NOT GOOD. Jogging better but not needed. Brisk walking? AHA. YES. 5x weekly. THIS is my LIFE! My BODY for LIFE! Take care of it. Your body is as one of my research associates says the FINEST machine on earth! Take care of it.

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Bah

All fine pieces of machinery need some grease now and again. :)

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Linux

Rubbish!

I'm 44 and have sex most nights of the week. Sometimes for several hours at a time. The survey respondents must be making the mistake of having it with someone else.

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In other words

the best orgasms are hand made.

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Bronze badge

What happened...

...to the innumerable surveys proclaiming sex got better with age?! I think I feel a bit heartbroken at reading this story. No more confirming difficulty of old age please. Jon

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Anonymous Coward

Once a week?

At age 45+?

Riiiiight.

Once every 4-6 months I'd have believed.

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Coat

Only four years

and I'll be having my 22 minutes of sex a week. Can't wait!

Oh wait, is this not a statutory right?

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Anonymous Coward

Wow

Physical capabilities decline with age shocker.

63% of retirees indicated that their monthly love-making attempt was accompanied by a somewhat off-putting creaking sound.

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Silver badge

Re : Wow

"63% of retirees indicated that their monthly love-making attempt was accompanied by a somewhat off-putting creaking sound."

They should get a new bed or whatever !

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