A lot of monkeys in Peterborough, are there?

No, thought not. Then why the need to confront this particular fear?

And, if so, why not just head to the nearest zoo, where the monkeys would be caged - would probably be sufficient exposure to confront (or safely flee from) her fear.

How f**king stupid are these people?!

You have a genuine phobia of the sods so you go and find a semi-wild bunch of 'em on the other side of the world then complain when they attack you? FFS!

Why not go along to a local zoo or animal sanctuary in your area and get used to them in a nice gentle environment, where you can be assured they will be quite docile?!

Help

I read stories like this and worry that my schadenfreude is becoming unmanageable.

Crab-Eating Macaques Cause Cancer!

and quite possibly rabies too said The Daily Mail today.

As the other people above have said, what was this woman thinking? Speaking from experience, wild monkeys are little sods and will attack anything if they think they can get food or if they feel threatened and have sufficient back-up.

Her fault

It was probably her fault. If she had stopped monkeying around they would have left her alone!

/Mines the one with the bananas in the pocket!

Thailand's Monkey Island?

These monkeys weren't green and foaming at the mouth, enraged due to the Voodoo Pox of LeChuck, by any chance?

title

So that's The Secret of Monkey Island - don't tease the monkeys.

Or possibly that's The Curse of Monkey Island.

I'm glad she managed to Escape From Monkey Island.

Maybe she could sign a book deal, called Tales of Monkey Island, perhaps?

Mines the one with the photo of a Three-Headed Monkey in the pocket.

Obviously she's never seen Apocalypse Now

Never get out of the boat.

Absolutely goddamn right.

Serves her right

The stupid bint is scared of monkeys, so goes to an island populated by monkeys. She is then bitten by, wait for it, monkeys! Holy shit, who'd have thunk it.

I laughed so hard at the beginning of the story, I nearly macaqued my underpants! Stories like this are a ba-boon to El Reg, I love 'em.

I wouldn't have got off that bloody boat

No, no, no, the boat was only bloody when you got back on :-)

You've got to wonder about some people?

Aversion therapy does work but only in a controlled way, this is like throwing yourself a tall building to cure your fear of heights, which it will; permanently. But what is so special about crab-eating macaques are they in some way more horrifying than non-crab eating macaques. I think we should be told.

Just remember......

That's how Braindead started..... the rats got(ten) off the boat, and raped all the little tree monkeys.

Mines the one with terrible Aussie splatter movies in the pocket.

Maybe it is a pheromone thing

One whiff and monkeys can't resist tasting her sweet, sweet human flesh.

title

Never get off the boat!

Almost forgot to ask....

why didn't she just spank the monkey? I mean, really hard, fast and furious? My hand would have been a blur.....

........as usual.

Paris, as if you have to wonder....

come on eileen

Was she spanking the Monkey before it bit her?

Errr ...

Humans are primates. This phobia sounds like a serious problem for a human to have!

It'd eaten all me fags man.

A big pack of duty free. So I hoyed it in the sea. Didn't go straight in like, bounced off a rock first.

maybe monkeys just hate her

Maybe her dads chimp wasnt evil, maybe she is just hated by monkeys?

you don't always have to face and defeat every fear and phobia

sometimes, you just gotta say, "Phuket!"

haha

nothing else to say, except my ribs hurt :)

one last thing...

At least her phobia is cured now, replaced with a rational fear.