back to article Oz customs search lappies and mobes for smut

A row has broken out in Australia after it emerged that Customs officers are searching laptops and mobile phones for smutty snaps. The change actually came in late last year. Inbound passengers must fill in an incoming passenger card which now includes a pornography question. Fiona Patten, president of the Australian Sex Party …

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FAIL

Meet the government

I am reminded of de Niro in "Meet the parents":

- Have you ever smoked marijuana?

- Have you ever watched porn?

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WTF?

So we're still shipping people to Australia

Our ex-Home Office ministers...

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FAIL

Anyone know...

... what our rights are here in relation to refusing to answer a question that is an obvious breach of our privacy?

As an Australian citizen, to the best of my knowledge i cant be refused entry to Australia (where are the going to deport me too?), and so what happens if i refuse to answer this question? I would be interested if anyone knows the actual legal ramifications.

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Unhappy

They'll probably impound you laptop / phone

and strip-search you.

Customs officials can do that, you know.

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They beat you up and toss you in leg irons

Then after much pissing around, you get placed in the stocks, pelted with rotten vegetables, and after poking you with pointy sticks for the devils mark, then they try you for witch craft.

Of course Australia's fuck hole "morality minority" can't match witch craft, and the sorcery of brain scanners, and people thinking sexual thoughts.

Still nothing like a good christian cavity search - I insist on it.

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Linux

A title

You;'re correct that as a citzen you cannot be refused entry but they can _delay_ entry under a number of circumstances. Declining to answer the questions may even be an offence, infact I wouldn't be surprised at all if it was.

Anyway Senator Conroy's filter has already pre-determined how I'm going to vote at the next federal election.

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Flame

Rights? You have no rights!

I vaguely recall the concept of rights. Something that big faceless multinational companies have aren't they?

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I hope it'll be

The Australian Sex Party. I know I will.

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@Ed Blackshaw

"and strip-search you."

And then they'll take pictures of you and circulate these pictures across their network, including their phones, so when people ask, "what kinds of pictures on my phone do you mean?" They'll show these people the photos they took of you in compromising positions, such as you standing there naked with a bunch of onlookers gawking at your naked body.

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Grenade

Hilarious!

I wonder, would I get extra immigration points for doing any of the above with one of their natives?

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No, but you will in America

Check the conditions for L2 visa.

They require snaps from your wedding and do not clarify which ones they really need - the ones from the signing, from the reception or the ones from the night after where you demonstrate that you are fully compliant to the local custom by doing it only in the Missionary position.

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Happy

Sir

"I wonder, would I get extra immigration points for doing any of the above with one of their natives?"

For some reason I read this as 'relatives'

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Linux

Extreme porn?

Tie me kangaroo down, sport, tie me kangaroo down...

(and I don't think I want to know what the penguin's grinning at)

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FAIL

No wonder all the kids come here....

All they need now is to adopt islamic law and they'll be right back to the middle-ages.

And they always have a go at us Brits for being up-tight.

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Anonymous Coward

Middle Ages in Australia was the domain of the Aborigines

who didn't bother so much with the whole clothes thing

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...perhaps we need to de-sensitise them

In the interests of freedom of expression, perhaps somebody should set up a facebook page, along the lines of "Show Porn to an Australian Day".

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pot, kettle, black

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/150465.stm

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One stone, two birds ...

Show Pakistani Porn to an Australian Day

I love it when a plan comes together.

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None so pious..

.. as the descendents of criminals.

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Unhappy

As an Aussie, I sadly must agree.

I thought the deal was we got all the crims and political agitators and all the religious nutters went to the Americas? Is it too late to send our moral minority there now?

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Stop

This sounds like a fun question

"But officer, it's just me and my spouse together! It's not pornography!"

"To find out whether your telling the truth, I will need to examine the photos on the camera and then both you will need to strip naked for close examination."

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Paris Hilton

But...

this isn't my spouse...

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Go

Brits?

Clearly the scenario

“If you and your partner have filmed or photographed yourselves making love in an exotic destination or even taking a bath, you will have to answer ‘Yes’ to the question or you will be breaking the law.”

is not an issue with the typical UK resident.

The Aussies on the other-hand are somewhat nervous.

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lol

WTF is wrong with Australia?? Who's making all these laws?? I mean, what. the. fuck. Australia used to be alright...

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Re: Australia used to be alright...

Yeah - before the Australians arrived...

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Grenade

Erm...

Don't you mean before the Brits arrived...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Erm...

Well, I guess the indigenous peoples weren't using Latin and thus didn't refer to the continent as "Australia", so they also wouldn't refer to themselves as "Australians". The people showing up on their ships, on the other hand...

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Australian Sex Party??

Can I have an invite??

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Of course!

And their motto is "Where YOU come first!"

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Coat

Is England "exotic"?

My bedroom isn't exactly exotic either, although it does have some exotic samples of technology from yesteryear.

So I can honestly say no, no pictures taken anywhere exotic. Hang on though, maybe my parents took a picture of me in the bath when I was 1 week old, do I have to declare that?

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Paedo alert

Naked kiddie in bath?

Call The Paedofinder General !

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Anonymous Coward

Perverts

Can't they just download it from the internet like most other people do?

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Anonymous Coward

Dowloading

>Can't they just download it from the internet like most other people do?

Don't they have internet filtering now?

- "Do you have any pornography on your computer sir?"

- "No, but I heard that you couldn't get it easily, so I put some on a USB stick for you."

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Paris Hilton

That's kinda the point.

We (officially) can't.

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Paris Hilton

<shrug>

Some of the best sites _are_ Aussie...

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WTF?

Further information

What is the actual question asked though?

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Another country to add to my list.

It's a shame, since I know some Australians and they're cool people I'd like to visit some time. But, as long as this kind of this is in place, I'll have to add Australia to my rapidly growing list of places I can't visit safely and won't visit for ideological reasons.

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Just one question

What is the question that is being asked?

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WTF?

surely

going through my laptop or mobile phone breaks some form of law? Invasion of privacy? Human rights?

Surely unless they have reason to suspect wrongdoing on my part they can't do this?

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Stop

It's the right-wing religious taliband

"Family First" has a lot to answer for.

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FAIL

No pink bits!!

That's the Aussie way now!

God hates nakedness!!!

You'll all go blind!

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Erm ...

“If you and your partner have filmed or photographed yourselves making love in an exotic destination or even taking a bath, you will be breaking the law.”

Only if the pic is on this lappy mate, otherwise fuck off.

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In the good old days...

You might have expected to be asked; have you got any porn on your laptop? If not, what the bloody hell's wrong with you?

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This is nothing new

I never had a form with a question, but my lap top was searched when I entered Australia in April 2008, primarily because I was entering via Thailand with quite a bit of photo gear.

My lap top was similarly searched on my entry to Canada about a month later. There I was explicitly asked if I had any child pornography or bestiality photos. Not sure what that says about me, but there you go!

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Paris Hilton

Did you say exotic or erotic?

No BB, I haven't been to what I consider an exotic destination!!!!!

I knew there was a time difference between here and Oz, I just didn't realise it was a couple of hundred years.

Hello, Miss Hilton, any nudie pics of yourself on your phone?

Paris, do I have to explain why?

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FAIL

Obfuscate and misdirect

Let's face it, these are customs officers we're talking about; not exactly the most IT literate folks on the planet. Put your private files in a bitlocked virtual disk and then rename the virtual disk as cv.doc or something. If they try and open cv.doc and it doesn't open, you can claim it's probably a corrupt file and ask them to delete it for you while they at it. Plenty of other tricks to hide stuff, just takes a little bit of imagination and effort.

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(Written by Reg staff)

question

The question is something like - are you carrying pornography?

I failed to find a copy of the new incoming passenger card online - but the old version includes a list of items - you must tick if you are carrying them. These include wooden items. medicines, explosives, firearms, food etc. and now pron too...

If you answer yes to any of these you're expected to report to customs. Aussie customs are very thorough and check most food items. they also confiscate some strange stuff - like electric fly swatters....

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Anonymous Coward

And I was thinking Aussie was tame

Ok, I can understand certain foodstuffs appearing in intimate photos of you and your other half but electric flyswatters? That's hardcore.

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Boffin

Ah, but electric fly-swatters...

... can be used for other purposes in the BDSM community.

Erm, allegedly... ;-)

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You're not allowed to bring in Cetaceans eigher

The tyranny.

Actually one of the other silly import bans is on laser pointers.

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