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back to article Reg reader applauds World's Crappiest phish

There is we believe some kind of worldwide minimum standard for phishing expeditions, which demands at least a level of literacy, a false bank log-in page and a plausible alert to hook victims. If you really can't be arsed with all that, though, why not just throw out a quick email and wait for those intimate banking details to …

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FAIL

Well, it sounds ...

... pretty stupidious to me...

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Welcome

I, for one,

welcome our emergency shortlited varified problem stupidiously retrieving overlords!

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Anonymous Coward

It's not that far off...

how a legitimate HSBC email looks and sounds!

If his phishing career doesn't work out he could always get a job as a teacher. I hear they don't need to know how to spell either....

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Stop

Hey!

Don't be so rude to us teechers. I no how to spel proply like the rest of my clas. AND I can speek in Jermann to!

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FAIL

It's not that far off...

... how a legitimate HSBC email looks and sounds?

Yeah, except for the fact that HSBC don't send emails at all.

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Happy

HSBC do send emails...

...to announce online credit card statement availability and to send e-magazines, but only if they have your email address and you've permitted email in their marketing options.

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FAIL

re: It's not that far off...

Except when they do....

I get one every month from HSBC saying my statement is ready.

(Fail icon for the fail icon above)

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So...

What's the odds that it's genuine, and not a phish at all?

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Thumb Up

I love...

...the word 'stupidiously'. Any suggestions for what it might mean? Maybe we could add it to the language like 'embiggen' and 'interfrastically'

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Definition

To do something stupid very precisely and with great attention to detail.

"After finding out that his favourite CD was scratched and wouldn't play, Alan stupidiously replicated the scratches across the rest of his CD collection to see if the results were reproducible.

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Stu
Joke

"Allow me to be the first...

...to offer 'benno209@gmail.com' my most sincere, contrafibularities. I am anaspeptic, frasmotic, even compunctuous to have caused him such pericombobulation.".

From Black Adder the Third. Of all the people to invent words to confuse and possibly overwhealm peoples sense of authority, I would not have thought that far off foreign scammers would!

Truly benno209@gmail.com is an idiot of unrivalled compunctuous idiocy.

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Silver badge

It's in the urban dictionary

stupidious - 1 definition - a truly lame act; someone that has overacheived in being an idiot.

Like MonkeyBot's example a classic would be posting on a support forum: "When you do <this> and <this> and <that> the system wipes all your data and destroys your hardware.

Which gets a response of: "Oh .... yeah. It does"

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Headmaster

O can your senses be stupidious And see your selves abused thus perfidious!

It's already in the language, or was:

Stupid, grossly unintelligent, dull. [OED]

Seems to have been out of use for about 400 years. Welcome back!

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Go

I don't know why you're concerned

It's a perfectly cromulent word.

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FAIL

bleh

Giv mee ur monies LOL

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Unhappy

Bugger

I can't believe I fell for it... I'm cleaned out!

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Go

stupidious comment forthcoming

Nice one!

Can I stupidiously retrieve some dosh as well?

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FAIL

:O

Ooh, fame at last :P

No wonder that made it through our spam filters however...... It's as clean as a baby's butt

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This deserves more than an award

I think El Reg readers should stump up £1 each into a HSBC bank account and then send the account details to Mr benno209. This level of eloquence needs to be encouraged.

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FAIL

I hope benno209 likes gay pr0n

'cos I just signed him up for a fucktonne of it

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Gold badge

SI units, please

That would be a megafuckgram. (Would you send that by email, or would it be a personal visit by an actor between jobs?)

And whilst we're at it, what's the El Reg equivalent?

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Dead Vulture

El Reg units

If memory serves, the standard unit of size and weight is the "Wales".

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Anonymous Coward

Not, or course, to be confused with the standard unit of fail

which is the Jimbo

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Coat

Re: ...standard unit of fail

Aha! Fails Wales, I think I've heard of that.

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Happy

metric, or ...

imperious?

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SK

As it says on the tin

Well they did say it was "stupidiously"

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Bet they still get some responses

I bet there are still some fools which would fall for that. I pity those fools.

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Alien

greyhat?

Would it be unethical for a greyhat to send out phising emails like this, just to see how gullible J. Q. Public is?

Of course, such research isn't helped by the whitehats to make it their duty to reply to phisings with plausible junk, just to make the phishers life harder.

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Stupidious

I guess the varified problem will turn out to be the customers who are stupidious enough to fall for it. I'll bet there's at least one.

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WTF?

What?

You mean I've been conned, ah crap, better contact Watchdog then let that annoying whiney voiced old cow sort them out.

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Coat

Matt Allwright?

Hes not that old.

I know... Old joke...

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Joke

I imagine

the Nigerian Homer Simpson is responsible for that one...

"where's my Tab.... no time for that now, the computers starting"

"look Margumbo, I tripled my productivity by using a dipping bird to type my emails"

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Coffee/keyboard

WTPh?

Next it'll be the boneidle virus email:

"Thank you for reading this email, now delete all the files from your hard drive."

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Actually...

That's been floating around the web for some years now, as the "Amish Computer Virus." One incarnation here: http://www.upperregister.com/~charlie/AmishVirus.html

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HMRC are good as well

I like the one that I get from the Inland Revenue which nearly says "Dear Valued Customer" by adding "Regards" at the end of the mail. I just try and remember the last time HMRC gave me money.

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WTF?

Funny That

I got one this morning, too a little bit better, in the post! Is the internet cafe's there getting so expensive its cheaper to send from Africa by post?

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Black Helicopters

Hidden in plain sight?

There is always the possibility that it is not what it at first sight appears, that it is in fact a steganographically concealed or prearranged signal to agent(s) unknown. The fact that it has been sent to untold millions of others is of course cover for the agents.

So it could be quite clever, not at all stupidous.

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Black Helicopters

I forget which book it was...

But I remember reading something where the main character either places or receives a coded message in the homosexual male section of the personal ads. The character finds himself wondering how many of the other personal ads are in fact coded messages to other secret agents. Today, spam email would be a good replacement due to their ubiquity and invisibility by Purloined Letter methods.

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Nice idea.

I wouldn't mind a bet it's being done already. Have to be careful of spam filters, though.

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Silver badge

Wow

All that's missing is a "kthxbai".

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FAIL

Why Do I Need A Title?

I liked the one I got some time ago supposedly from EBay

Very convincing layout/look and feel of a genuine eBay page. Only problem was....

... It was all in French, which I don't speak or read.

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my most enthusiastic contrafribblarities to the sender of this mail.

I'm sure they are anus-peptic, phrasmotic, even compunctious to have caused us all such pericombobulation.

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Gold badge
Coat

Ha ha!

My bank account doesn't seem to have any "enqiures", does this mean I'm not vulnerable to this scam?

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Alert

Emergency hackings!

Thank goodness I have founded you all here in one place. I am afraid that the internet has been hacked and we have had to lock all your bankery details to prevent frauad. Please be posting your bank details on here (IN PRIVATE WAY) for us to reinitialising your accounts and make ready your funds.

Best Retards.

HSBC

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Coffee/keyboard

Brilliant!!

Thank you for that :-)

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Bronze badge

Isn't that..

..what you expect from out-sourcing? The English (using the term very loosely) is believable, nowadays.

(Does it come with an offer of a free onion bhaji)?

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FAIL

Pot / Kettle

I'm just glad the classic has been "shortlited".

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Thumb Up

This is why I come to el Reg....

For the witty commentaries after the stories! Thank you all for the entertainment!

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Almost worth...

... having gmail as a service for !

I think I'll close my gmail account if google allows people this stupid to use it!

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Boffin

Is not understanded please.

Not the bank with HSBC but please to indicate if Royal Blank Scotland has a same stupidious problem, for which I will send the detail of my account if providing. But iis not the problem, please to decease all massage of bank.

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