back to article US airforce shifts 30,000 troops to 'cyberwar front lines'

The US Air Force reports that it has assigned no fewer than 30,000 digital troops to "the front lines of cyber warfare". This is close to a third of the number of US troops deployed in Afghanistan. The Air Force Times reports that 27,000 enlisted airmen and women are now classified as cyber scufflers, having previously been …

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Bronze badge
WTF?

They'll be virtual heros

and will get all the virtual girls.

(but will they be able to stop every middle eastern looking chap with a laptop in his rucksack from getting on the Tube?)

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Listen up, maggots

"Today, you become proud serving members of the finest cyberwarfare division ever seen on Earth and it will be our duty to protect the mighty U.S of A from terrorist hackers. As these tend to be thin on the ground, we'll go after guys with Asperger's Syndrome instead and haul their asses to Guantanamo. Any questions?"

"What's this thing with the screen in front of me?"

"That's a computer, son."

"Gosh, sarge, you're so smart."

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Anonymous Coward

FFS

put me down for a comic/tragic please

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Anonymous Coward

The horror

Does this mean they'll be getting purple hearts for carpel tunnell syndrome?

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Anonymous Coward

Wrong organisation

The military are probably not the sort of institutions in which one might expect to find many potential hackers nor do they offer an environment in which the best candidates are likely to flourish. It might be better to leave this sort of thing in the hands of more secretive organisations whose attitude to breaking the law and working with very few rules might be more ambivalent to that found in the military.

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Thumb Down

Well now we know...

... what they will be doing with all those pilots now that unmanned birds are taking all their jobs... They will become Cyber Pilots!

*rolleyes*

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FAIL

Lengthy

"lengthy course lasting 115 training days."

And now they know everything about

DIR

XCOPY

DELETE

PING

CHKDSK

CMD

the Task Manager

NSLOOKUP

the cookie manager

Because that's what you can learn in a "lengthy" 115 days course.

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Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

actually, it sounds like a lot

I doubt I've had 115 days of training in the last 15 years but I can manage an occasional pentest.

Is the training on Paris Island?

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Megaphone

Erm... No.

Except they'll not be using any Microsoft products to hack with. That would the equivalent of a ninja wearing reflective cycling gear and using a megaphone to infiltrate a town in the cover of darkness.

G.

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Anonymous Coward

How ...

... will they manage the physical fitness side of things, what with being glued to a chair for several hours at a time on virtual patrol?

Cyber Wings? Lard ass more like.

"Pass me a doughnut and coffee, I'm going over the top".

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WTF?

Shared Services

I don't get it - Army, Navy and Air Force working independently. Same for encryption/decryption - historically they had their own units.

Why ?

No "new thinking" in US government? I guess these are "cheap" jobs and I do recognise the role is required - it seems the Chinese and Russians are ahead of the curve here...

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Silver badge

Hackers' Paradise/Crack Coders' Heaven for Revitalisation and Control of the Great Game Franchise.

And what can you tell us of UKGBNI Cyber Forces, Lewis? Or is that Special PsyOps Virtual Terrain Team Territory and Tip Top Hush Hush AIRenegade/Apache/Pirate/Private Business for those with ESPecial Abilities that Most with even a Need to Know and Top Secret Clearance will Never Ever even Know?

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Paris Hilton

ya ya ya...

but can they play crisis?!?!!?!!!!

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Coat

Cyber Officers, digi-warriors

I have visions of them wearing "Tron" outfits in fetching cyan or orange..... Tron, I wonder where they are now......

Ram: My friends, my fellow conscripts, we have scored. I feel so much better. (RAM became a marine squad leader Iraq, also known as IRQ)

.

Master Control Program: You're getting brutal, Sark. Brutal and needlessly sadistic.

Sark: Thank you, Master Control. (Sark: became an interragator in Gitmo)

Master Control Program (MCP): I was planning to hit the Pentagon next week.

Ed Dillinger: [alarmed] The Pentagon?

MCP: It shouldn't be any harder than any other big company. But now... this is what I get for using humans.

Ed Dillinger: Now, wait a minute, I wrote you!

MCP: I've gotten 2,415 times smarter since then. (MCP: now working as the windoze spell checker)

Tron: My User has information that could... that could make this a free system again! No, really! You'd have programs lined up just to use this place, and no MCP looking over your shoulder. (Tron: now a leading member of Cyber Command)

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Men Who Stare At...

...goats^K^K^K^K^Kscreens.

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FAIL

it’s a new mindset

No, It’s just spray paint

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Anonymous Coward

Unix ???

"Except they'll not be using any Microsoft products to hack with."

So they will fumble with the Unix command line in those 115 days ? That means they will learn

ls

ls -l

rm

rm -f

ps

less

not more.

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Jobs Horns

You mean..

.. it takes 115 days to teach the average grunt to put the keyboard the right way on the desk and plug it in to the PC.

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