Technicians are scrambling to keep an out-of-control satellite from interfering with US television programming as it drifts into the orbit of another satellite. Galaxy 15, operated by Luxembourg-based Intelsat, stopped responding to ground controllers last month and has gradually been drifting about a tenth of a degree per day, …
" interfering with US television programming"
OH MY GOD!
The humanity! Listeners, I just can't bear to watch, all those people without TV! Oh it's terrbile!
How about reading a book instead of watching television?
1984 by George Orwell for starters.
How do you turn an article about a zombie sat into a reference about 1984? its bad enough that it is spouted every time there is an article about the police, politics or anything with even a minor hint of repression. Just how? seriously.
It's a variation of Godwin's Law.
What robot could accomplish needed repairs? Right now we don't really have a way from the American end of things to get any humans up there to fiddle with the satellite...
Or from the Russian end.
It's been nearly 40 years, since anyone has been able to do more than just reach low Earth orbit.
Slowly the knowledge that only Murdoch's stations survived begins to dawn on the doomed inhabitants below...
" ...where at least 160 other "zombiesats" already await it. .."
It's a breeding pool !!!
.....who will look after the children?
How will they eat meals without one?
How will they sit in a bar and drink beer?
My GOD, they may have to TALK to each.
Why don't you just turn off the tv and do something less boring instead (one for our older viewers there)
I hear you. These days it just seems to be re-runs of 70's LSD trips, otherwise known as the Night Garden.
A why dont you qoute , now that takes me back!
Perhaps this is a job for ......
...... Fireball XL5 !?! (For our REALLY older viewers)
Wot? No watchdog?
The relay system doesn't shut down after a day with no control communication?
Surely that's a trypo and should say libation point? I'm off to mine for a swift half for breakfast shortly.
Blowing it up = debris in orbit = bad for other satellites, and space shuttles, etc. However, you could maybe melt the solar panels, or something - basically kill it dead. Or flip it around so it's only transmitting to outer space... hmm, perhaps another bad move. Lets aliens know that we're here. And that we're bozos.
Readers who would like to encourage alternatives to mindless TV, such as reading a book, might wish to join/support White Dot. Amongst other activities, they promote TV-turnoff week.
If they could flip it, they could control it...
Auto-shutdown with loss of control signal is sensible - but what are the effects of solar storms on command/control functions normally, what would be the correct time to shutdown.
I had in mind,
using the pressure of light to tip the thing around so it isn't pointing at Earth. But I suppose it would take quite a lot. And how accurate is a laser beam at that range...
I for one welcome our new zombie satellite overlords
There's nothing good to watch anyway.
100 channels, including Showtime, MTV, and the Food Network.
So, critical, high quality output, then...?
People still watch that, then?
Nope, haven't watched it for 30 or more years, except when away on holiday; sort of a booster shot to keep me innoculated against it.
Still watch DVD's - Fireball XL5 not too long ago.
Black helicopters from TV Licensing