back to article Lindsay Lohan to pull off Linda Lovelace

Lindsay Lohan has landed what has been described as "one of the most challenging roles any actor could play" - that of portraying 1970s grumble flick star Linda Lovelace. According to Variety, talented 24-year-old thespiatrix Lohan will interpret the Deep Throat pornstress for an indie production entitled Inferno, concentrating …

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Bronze badge

Egads.

"Lindsay Lohan"... "Linda Lovelace"... for a moment there, I thought I was trapped in a Superman comic ("Lana Lang", anyone?)

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or spiderman?

Peter Parker; J Jonah Jameson; Green Goblin; Doc Oc[topus]. and further into Marvel properties like Silver Surfer

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Pirate

Um

I've seen Linda Lovelace's work, and unless she's had some strange surgeries since the '70's, I think she lacks the equipment to be "pulled off". But perhaps I read the headline wrong...

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Silver badge

Why?

The original was sad enough.

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Paris Hilton

A title goes here

One would think that a Mcdonalds advert would "take everything Lindsay has to really be able to pull it off"

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Full Title

Of course, we all know from Coupling that "Inferno" is not its full title

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But

Is it the same film about the group of amatuer feminist film makers who attempt to disincentivise the film making process?

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it's not even original

There is already an Indie film (film 4 sponsored i think) called Inferno. That's even got a porn actresss in it as well as lots of quake 3, what more could you want :)

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WTF?

"Talented thespeatrix"

Since when? And I'm not even going to get into debating whether thespeatrix is a word.

Interestingly, Linda Lovelace's biography detailing her traumas and abuse at the hands of the porn industry was banned in more American states than the films she featured in - go figure.

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Gold badge
Coat

No swallowing jokes please.

We can work most of them out for ourselves.

It's not really a coat, more an off color Macintosh..

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Anonymous Coward

Another deployment of the LiLo Movie Advertising Plan

It goes something like this:

Step 1: Sign the trainwreck to your movie

Step 2: Rake in the attendant publicity

Step 3: Sign up more investors on the back of Step 2

Step 4: Wait a bit

Step 5: Widely publicise that you're going into production

Step 6: Wait a bit

Step 7: Release rumours of tardiness and poor acting on La Lohan's part

Step 8: Sack her

Step 9: Get someone who can both act and turn up on time

Step 10: Release completed movie with attendant stories about Lohan's non-involvement

Easy-peasy.

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FAIL

Who forgot the funny headline?

"Lindsay Lohan Does Deep Throat"

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Silver badge

Turned Down

She was also offered the chance to play Lorena Bobbitt but due to being very busy, she didn't want to bite off more than she could chew.

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This just has disaster written all over it

Nuff said really

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Moz
Paris Hilton

"difficult stuff she went through and overcame"

I think she was overcame quite a lot...

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IT Angle

Ummm...

What the crap is this? Have I accidentally found my way to Vouge.co.uk?

IT angle? Real life relevance? Or are the poor wags starved for a bit o' flash in the office?

Beside, even the new Itaniums are sexier that LiLo these days. (OH SNAP!)

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Thumb Down

Nerd

Nerd.

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Coat

As an actress,

Lindsay Lohan blows.

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Paris Hilton

hang on a minute.....isnt LL a...

VEGITARIAN !!!!

ie... SHE DOESNT EAT MEAT

unless it comes like a KEBAB (but we all know that aint meat anyway)

no doubt a body /face double will be used for the closeup's

LL/PH pahh! bring back Tracie ;) we still luvs u...

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Linux

so..

No connection to the Ada Lovelace film, not even a lesser known relative?

I sure the readers here are more familiar with Ada and have never heard of Linda.

Esp. Tux.

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Happy

@Mage

"No connection to the Ada Lovelace film, not even a lesser known relative?"

Could be she asked for the *wrong* script.

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Troll

Who the hell

is Lindsay Lohan?

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FAIL

I don't really know....

But she started appearing in the transit newspapers here (in Canada) like Metro some time ago.

Like Kim Kardashian, she seems to be one of these nobodies that is famous for being famous.

Now there's a bootstrap problem for you...

From what I gathered, she did some film work at some point.

Now, from what I read, she seems to be confused about her sexuality, whether or not to eat meat and I think drugs are probably in the mix somewhere. Man, she is confused.

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Silver badge

Dream Casting for Champion Amateur vs. Professional Groom Shoot Out

Lindsay on a Labour of Love ...... A Particular and Peculiar SupraNational Passion .

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Where's Ms. Bee?

The last time LiLo was in the news Ms. Bee had plenty to write about it. Quite entertaining actually. Ms. Bee that is; not LiLo, whose alleged film clip doesn't seem to have ever materialized.

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IT Angle

Depths, she can plumb them

a) From an IT perspective, I'm hoping Lindsay takes this opportunity to showcase her splendid breasts and front-bottom.

b) Re: point a), considering contemporary tastes in pubic coiffurey, will a merkin be required? My exhaustive research has led me to believe that Ms Lovelace preferred a laissez-faire attitude to her muff-management.

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Joke

'nuff said?

'muff said?

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Anonymous Coward

Ermm...

"...gonna take everything Lindsay has to really be able to pull it off"

"...she's been through a lot of ups and downs"

Quite appropriate...

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Gates Horns

Porn Star In Training

Inferno will be Lindsay's training film for her inevitable slide into the porn world at the rate she is going.

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Thumb Up

Ha!

If El Reg is releasing this kind of story on Wednesday, then Friday's should be freakin' awesome! Don't let us down!

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Anonymous Coward

Dunno, this could be tought for Lindsay

she's going to have to portray a real live person and most thespians channel some sort of real life experience for the roles they play.

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Coat

Hard to swallow?

As if I would lower myself to a gag like that..... when there are plenty of better ones, like....

"I don't mind Reg reporting on this kind of thing but I don't want it rammed down my throat"

or

"Lindsay met with some stiff opposition but managed to beat them all".

Mine's the one right next to Bernard Manning's........

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Gold badge
Happy

I find my self wondering

Is the moderatrix a possessor of the red gene?

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