Egads.
"Lindsay Lohan"... "Linda Lovelace"... for a moment there, I thought I was trapped in a Superman comic ("Lana Lang", anyone?)
Lindsay Lohan to pull off Linda Lovelace
Lindsay Lohan has landed what has been described as "one of the most challenging roles any actor could play" - that of portraying 1970s grumble flick star Linda Lovelace. According to Variety, talented 24-year-old thespiatrix Lohan will interpret the Deep Throat pornstress for an indie production entitled Inferno, concentrating …
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or spiderman?
Peter Parker; J Jonah Jameson; Green Goblin; Doc Oc[topus]. and further into Marvel properties like Silver Surfer
Um
I've seen Linda Lovelace's work, and unless she's had some strange surgeries since the '70's, I think she lacks the equipment to be "pulled off". But perhaps I read the headline wrong...
A title goes here
One would think that a Mcdonalds advert would "take everything Lindsay has to really be able to pull it off"
Full Title
Of course, we all know from Coupling that "Inferno" is not its full title
But
Is it the same film about the group of amatuer feminist film makers who attempt to disincentivise the film making process?
it's not even original
There is already an Indie film (film 4 sponsored i think) called Inferno. That's even got a porn actresss in it as well as lots of quake 3, what more could you want :)
"Talented thespeatrix"
Since when? And I'm not even going to get into debating whether thespeatrix is a word.
Interestingly, Linda Lovelace's biography detailing her traumas and abuse at the hands of the porn industry was banned in more American states than the films she featured in - go figure.
No swallowing jokes please.
We can work most of them out for ourselves.
It's not really a coat, more an off color Macintosh..
Another deployment of the LiLo Movie Advertising Plan
It goes something like this:
Step 1: Sign the trainwreck to your movie
Step 2: Rake in the attendant publicity
Step 3: Sign up more investors on the back of Step 2
Step 4: Wait a bit
Step 5: Widely publicise that you're going into production
Step 6: Wait a bit
Step 7: Release rumours of tardiness and poor acting on La Lohan's part
Step 8: Sack her
Step 9: Get someone who can both act and turn up on time
Step 10: Release completed movie with attendant stories about Lohan's non-involvement
Easy-peasy.
Who forgot the funny headline?
"Lindsay Lohan Does Deep Throat"
Turned Down
She was also offered the chance to play Lorena Bobbitt but due to being very busy, she didn't want to bite off more than she could chew.
"difficult stuff she went through and overcame"
I think she was overcame quite a lot...
Ummm...
What the crap is this? Have I accidentally found my way to Vouge.co.uk?
IT angle? Real life relevance? Or are the poor wags starved for a bit o' flash in the office?
Beside, even the new Itaniums are sexier that LiLo these days. (OH SNAP!)
hang on a minute.....isnt LL a...
VEGITARIAN !!!!
ie... SHE DOESNT EAT MEAT
unless it comes like a KEBAB (but we all know that aint meat anyway)
no doubt a body /face double will be used for the closeup's
LL/PH pahh! bring back Tracie ;) we still luvs u...
so..
No connection to the Ada Lovelace film, not even a lesser known relative?
I sure the readers here are more familiar with Ada and have never heard of Linda.
Esp. Tux.
@Mage
"No connection to the Ada Lovelace film, not even a lesser known relative?"
Could be she asked for the *wrong* script.
I don't really know....
But she started appearing in the transit newspapers here (in Canada) like Metro some time ago.
Like Kim Kardashian, she seems to be one of these nobodies that is famous for being famous.
Now there's a bootstrap problem for you...
From what I gathered, she did some film work at some point.
Now, from what I read, she seems to be confused about her sexuality, whether or not to eat meat and I think drugs are probably in the mix somewhere. Man, she is confused.
Dream Casting for Champion Amateur vs. Professional Groom Shoot Out
Lindsay on a Labour of Love ...... A Particular and Peculiar SupraNational Passion .
Where's Ms. Bee?
The last time LiLo was in the news Ms. Bee had plenty to write about it. Quite entertaining actually. Ms. Bee that is; not LiLo, whose alleged film clip doesn't seem to have ever materialized.
Depths, she can plumb them
a) From an IT perspective, I'm hoping Lindsay takes this opportunity to showcase her splendid breasts and front-bottom.
b) Re: point a), considering contemporary tastes in pubic coiffurey, will a merkin be required? My exhaustive research has led me to believe that Ms Lovelace preferred a laissez-faire attitude to her muff-management.
Ermm...
"...gonna take everything Lindsay has to really be able to pull it off"
"...she's been through a lot of ups and downs"
Quite appropriate...
Porn Star In Training
Inferno will be Lindsay's training film for her inevitable slide into the porn world at the rate she is going.
Ha!
If El Reg is releasing this kind of story on Wednesday, then Friday's should be freakin' awesome! Don't let us down!
Dunno, this could be tought for Lindsay
she's going to have to portray a real live person and most thespians channel some sort of real life experience for the roles they play.
Hard to swallow?
As if I would lower myself to a gag like that..... when there are plenty of better ones, like....
"I don't mind Reg reporting on this kind of thing but I don't want it rammed down my throat"
or
"Lindsay met with some stiff opposition but managed to beat them all".
Mine's the one right next to Bernard Manning's........
I find my self wondering
Is the moderatrix a possessor of the red gene?
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