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back to article Blokes spend 11 months in shed

A survey of 3,000 blokes has confirmed what most of us already knew - that during our lifetimes we'll spend an impressive 11 months holed up in the shed, and not necessarily doing anything constructive. According to the Sun, the average geezer will retreat to his wooden bolt-hole for for three hours, 20 minutes a week. The paper …

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Coat

Queue

my shed or yours for some coffee *wink wink*?

Ta, mines the one with shed-less.

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Study overlooks one small detail

Namely that the vast majority of our country's largely-urbanised population -- and thus the "average bloke" -- will never HAVE their own garden or at least one larger than a postage-stamp, so that's NO months in the frickin' shed for most of us.

You insensitive clods.

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Go

I detect shed envy...

clearly this man does not have his own shed, this is totally unfair and should be raised as part of the election campaign, sheds for all men!!

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Coat

Adding the IT angle...

If you don't have a shed, then use the study as I do. At least you've got a legitimate reason for having a PC and a handy copy of MW2/GTA/Civ4/whatever-floats-your-boat-gamewise in there. Of course, if it's Civ4 you'll probably be spending a lot more than 11 months of your life in the study.

And if you don't have a shed OR a study (what kind of peasant ARE you???!) then you can always head to the smallest room of the house with a laptop for a couple of hours. If your laptop is not poweful enough for games then I'm sure you can find something else to do with it in a small room containing toilet paper and a lockable door.

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I agree with Nick

In fact sheds for all blokes is one of the Lib Dems' lesser-known Unlikely Election Promises.

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Pint

Ah...

That's what allotments are for.

Don't forget to stop off at the greengrocers on the way home for some veg so the missus'll think you've actually been gardening.

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Joke

I had one shed, and was thinking of getting another.

Yours,

Arthur Jackson.

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Anonymous Coward

Sheds for all people

..I certainly don't begrudge women their sheds either. Good for harmony between the genders, innit?

Sheds for all!

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Loo

A shed is a rich man's loo.

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Flame

Shed is storage

Even if you are not urbanised I can only envy someone who has space in the shed to spend 3h a week. It takes me half an hour on average to clear the access route to the stuff I need and 15 mins at the end to pile back all the junk.

In any case - if you want a retreat build a loft office, not a shed. More comfortable :)

Your only problem is that once junior has reached the tender age of 14+ he will wage a war to evict you out of there and swap his room for the loft (for similar reasons you went to the loft in the first place).

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Heart

Yay

Pleased to have you here in the studio, Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson!

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Lib Dem ploy

One Shed to rule them all, One Shed to find them,

One Shed to bring them all and in their solace bind them.

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Coat

Loo?

Nah. A shed is a poor man's pub. <Onslow> where's me bottle-opener?</Onslow>

Mine's the one with the mäyräkoira in my Barbour's poachers pocket*

http://mediaserver-2.vuodatus.net/g/7396/87222.jpg and http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/m%C3%A4yr%C3%A4koira (item 2)

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Pint

I love my shed

Its my sanctuary where i keep all my stuff :)

Its being rebuilt next year into a nerd palace, i have been drawing it all up in CAD. Will be heated in the winter and cooled in the summer, a full lan, its own wifi network, workbench for car maintanence, workbench for computing work, freesat, coffee machine, really its an extra mini house all for me :)

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Anonymous Coward

Wouldn't it be easier...

To annex your neighbours house and tie him up in the basement and play with his workbench/freesat/coffee machine etc?

Then when you break his power drill or block his toilet you can annex someone else's house. That's what I do.

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Anonymous Coward

Do you hate your wife?

Just wondering.

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I don't think it's about hate

it's just about peace

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Silver badge

Bah!

But one day you'll open the door and find some East European itinerant cooking a swan in there, who will have sold all your nerdstuffs for glue and crack money.

Seems such a waste.

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Blokes in Sheds

Obviously a survey of blokes with absolutely no lives or ambition at all.

Plus, The Sun, so can it really be believed???

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Anonymous Coward

Ambition?

What? Surely its every blokes ambition to have a bigger shed?

My shed/garage (I have both - Bwahhahahahah. And a study BwaAAHAHAHAHAHHA) is full of bits of cars, karts, racing cars, beer fermenting barrels, lathes, milling machine, compressor, welders etc....think that probably qualifies as having a life.

Of course with three children, I never get to play with all that stuff. That's is where your life really goes....

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No lives or ambition?!?

As someone too poor to own a house, let alone one with a garden or shed, my ambition is to actually own a house with a shed that I can retreat to.

Not everyone wants to be "special" some of us just want to lead happy, relatively relaxed, lives.

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FAIL

The fuck are you on?

Everyone knows the worlds greatest inventions were all created by an English bloke in a shed. Frank Whittle will be spinning in his grave.

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Get a life, get a shed

So Aidan is not interested in have a shed. How sad is that?

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Bronze badge

Not just English..

Hewlett-Packard, Steve Jobsworth, Heathkit, NASA, El Reg even...

Shed's are where the world starts. Christ, I could even believe the first Space Shuttle was built in a shed. I joke not. A bloke in the next shed told me it was so via the 'beancan 'n' string' speaking telephone thingy, an' he wouldn't lie. Not after a 6-pack of "truth serum", natch. Oh, and I sat in the same classroom as Sir Frank Whittle, by the way*. OK, 40 years separated us, but...

*Leamington College, recently Binswood Hall, nowadays Bugger Hall. http://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/25621

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Only 11 months?

Thats some lousy homebrew kits your using there!

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Alone in the Shed

Adam Buxton Documented this

http://adam-buxton.co.uk/ad/2010/01/08/alone-in-the-shed-part-1-2-news/

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Seems short

11 months just doesn't seem like enough time in the man cave when you consider we'll spend about 25 years sleeping.

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Paris Hilton

One shed? Are they daft?

Why have one shed when two or more do the job very well indeed.

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No problem

Buy a very large wooden playhouse for the kids, convince the Missus it's all about getting the kids out in the fresh air, then when the kids get bored, you sit down there in the Summer, granted having to put up with posters of Jonas and Zac Effron, with your laptop pretending to be checking on work, but really having a crafty gaming session and checking the latest exploits of a certain Miss Pinder!

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Big Brother

Pubs

Well what do you expect if you close down all the pubs and charge £18,000 for a pint of glow-in-the-dark iLager in the few that remain?

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To quote Charlie Brooker:

PR-reviewed phindings (peeyarr-rev-yood-fyne-dings) n.

Light-hearted newspaper article based around any risible "scientific survey" produced by a marketing agency to promote a product or service; eg: "It's the BREAST news men have heard in years - Britain's women are set to evolve BIGGER BOOBS in future, according to scientists at Cardiff's Wonderbra Institute of Titology."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/feb/02/charlie-brooker-new-media-dictionary

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Anonymous Coward

Shed as a study

When I moved to my current home, I found that the previous occupant actually had a study int he garden shed. Carpeted floor, wall sockets (though not very safe) and had his computer out there.

He probably made it comfy so he could relax in between knocking off a program (etc)

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Shed heaven

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4543675.stm

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Re Blokes in sheds

"Obviously a survey of blokes with absolutely no lives or ambition at all"

Sooooo.....the average Sun reader then?

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Shed woes

Problem with the shed is that the missus can and does bother you. Banging on the door, moaning away blah blah blah.

When I want some time, I find the most effective thing is to make my way to the loo and have a really big shit. She knows it's my time and never, ever comes-a-knocking whilst I'm curling one out.

I suppose you could fit a lavvy in the shed.... Never thought of that.

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You aint got it, Mr. Baker

"Problem with the shed is that the missus can and does bother you. Banging on the door, moaning* away blah blah blah"

You must be avin' one of them moments. (Wish my missus was even moaning while banging..but maybe in another life.)

You and your pub-mate on the next allotment should agree to swap sheds. She battle-axes the door down to find the whiff is from the other bloke's missus' dodgy vindaloo. Naturally, you return the complement with a nice patch of freshly-fertilised runner beans. Fair's fair.

Sorry, can't make Sunday dinner this weekend....

*Assuming no ASBO...

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@ Geeks and Lies

Exactly what I'm doing this gear except it's not a shed, more a double garage with workshop. Will be installing internet connection, leccy, water, drains, extract systems, oil fired heater (using waste oil from cars, cooking etc.), solar panels on roof for water heating etc.

Of course beer fridge, dart board and coffee machine are a must :-)

Might actually get to play a few hours of Counter Strike / Killing Floor / L4D without being pestered...

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Er..

Am I the only man who uses his as a safe place to have a wank?

Paris, 'cos I'm of to me shed.....

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Paris Hilton

Your own shed?

Surely breaking into your neighbours shed for a quick shuffle is far more exciting? The alien environment, the risk of getting caught!

Er, I would imagine.

Steven R

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YES!!

Just tried it! So much more exciting...

I think...

Oooh

Erm...

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You've just clarified...

...the difference between an egg and a wank.

You can beat an egg.

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Go

re: @Having_IT.

For the urbanites amongst us, with no space for an actual shed, you could do what we've done and virtualise your shed instead:- Multi-screens, multi-core, huge memory, and install lots of lovely 3D packages and virtual worlds, mostly open source. We call this machine our Digital Shed. Simples...

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Eeemil!!!

Of course we all know what happens in a shed.

You sit there, carving more or less indecent wooden figures...

If you happen to have a beer(or a plank leading from a small window over to the window of another building where food and drink is stored) or a TV, well, that's just a bonus.

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Happy

Sometimes...

Women like to hide in the shed from the men.

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Coat

At first glance, I thought it said...

"Women like to hide in the shed FOR the men."...

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Anonymous Coward

Sheds

8x10 of zero compromise. You need that tucked away somewhere in your life.

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I don't need a shed

I set up the kitchen with comfy chairs a phone and satellite TV from the wife's home country. She has the kitchen, I have the lounge - no worries.

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Paris Hilton

Ther u go?

Ta-da?

http://www.waltons.co.uk/waltons-helios-summer-houses

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New law

Owning a shed should, I feel, be compulsory. Now THERE'S a new idea for an election manifesto!

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I build an office in my home.

It's got a double beer fridge, 6ft4 sofa bed, independent heating, a wet room/shower/toilet etc, and huge telly, and dvds and bluray etc.

I reckon I've spent 11 months, just this year, out of the way of the wife and kids.

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