back to article Brazilians ordered to have more sex

Brazil's health minister has agreeably proposed that more nookie could help the population combat the effects of chronic illness. José Gomes Temporão used the launch of a campaign to prevent high blood pressure to warn of a health "time bomb" which within 20 years would see a good whack of Brazilians suffering hypertension, …

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Coat

Bloody NHS

My doctor just told me to cut down on eating cheese.

.... but then he did say I should drink more red wine, so I suppose I should let him off!

Mine's the one with the out of date 3 pack in the inside pocket.

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Joke

off setting

Maybe you can offset the cheese by drinking more red wine, thus if you need to eat more cheese just off set it some more.

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Anonymous Coward

bout time

never hear governments promoting anything that's actually fun.

It's always "marijuana, you can't do that, but how would you like to fill in a tax return instead?"

or "eating tasty food? - you shouldn't be. Let us take your mind off it by bankrupting the nation so that you can't afford to eat"

but never "have sex" because if people did enjoy themselves the government would have to make a law against it. I won't be surprised when the day comes that consent needs to be given in writing, along with a full description of the desired sex acts, 6 weeks in advance of intercourse and at a dedicated time slot so that a PCSO can record it and make sure you don't discriminate against your partners racial sensibilities. And if you fail to get the form signed by your local MP it's off to the chokey for you.

By that time PCSOs will also carry a taser and tear gas "for your protection" so you can be sure he'll aim for the goolies if at any point he feels you are thinking about children while shagging.

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Silver badge

Behind the Times

Weren't measures similar to these annouced at the start of the month?

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Joke

El Reg to the rescue, yet again!!!!

"so you can be sure he'll aim for the goolies if at any point he feels you are thinking about children while shagging."

Thanks, El. Reg for promoting the 'Reverse Cowgirl' - makes the target much harder to aim at.

(Will the PCSO be 'Thinking of the Children' while 'observing'?)

Lester, you lucky b'stard. You always get the juiciest stories....

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Misread.

That was "eLection".

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Thumb Up

Totally Agree

This is an exceptionally good initiative. I can't agree more with this idea. To that end, I will offer my services to any hot bit of Brazilian totty (with a Brazilian, of course) in the interests of extending their lifespan.

Send full-length, scantily-clad photos to yesiwanttolivelonger@el-reg.org.uk.blart

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Thumb Up

Works for me

It's about the only exercise I get.

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That's quite a well developed thumb there.

Anyway... I think the advice probably stands that sexual intercourse usually isn't good exercise because it doesn't last long enough. You want something that takes at least twenty minutes to do, not counting the bargaining (I mean "I'll do the washing up tonight darling" and not "How much for twenty minutes"). And three or more times a week. Well, there you are then.

I can imagine some kind of machine that makes it more of a whole-body physical effort, unfortunately I don't know how to stop imagining... and of course I'm not including the bicycle ride to get there.

Safe sex or "safer sex" is of course an importantly better health choice than not-especially-safe sex, even with antibiotics available for a lot of the things you could catch, I don't know if that's particularly so in Brazil, and pregnancy itself is a rough ride although avoiding it isn't an absolute rule.

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Coat

Well you see...

Make sure the restraints are extra tight, then you have to struggle more..thus...you...get....I'll get me....yep....

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At least 20 minuites?

You saying you don't last that long?

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Joke

RE: bout time

"but never "have sex" because if people did enjoy themselves the government would have to make a law against it."

They would never make a law against it, they'd just tax it in some way...

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is that..

supposed to be a joke?

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Boffin

Intruiging idea sir

How exactly would this sex tax work? Is it based on the length of the nookie, the intensity of the climax? Would you avoid the tax by having sex with someone other than your registered partner?

Over to you, wise folks of the comments section.

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Silver badge

well it did....

have the icon.

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Stop

@ LuMan

Couldn't agree more, but you need to be careful that you don't do a Begby and end up with a Patricia Araujo or suchlike.

Unless that's your thing of course.

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Paris Hilton

But too much sex

will build up the muscles in just one arm for most round here.

Paris - As thats whos video will be on

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Take two of these...

...and see me in the morning.

http://www.zimbio.com/Branca+Feres/articles/5/Olympic+Beauties+Part+2+Bia+Branca+Feres

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Happy

Blah...

Gotta love Brazilian pragmatism, this was their national solution to saving water...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gESV9nTMBTc

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Paris Hilton

used to be government sanctioned

One had to post a sign saying Fornicating Under Consent of King - hence our most widely used anglo-saxon swear word.

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WTF?

Hmmmm

Why do people need an excuse to have sex?

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Coat

Excuse

Actually, its the women that seem to need a reason.

Pity, really.

Icon - Be right with you miss, just need to hang this up now...

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Only one question

If I get a prescriotion, where do I take it?

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Thumb Up

prescriotion?

Freudian slip? Nice one, Squire! 10/10 (and I won't tell ya missus...)

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IR

Ha

I'm willing to bet that his wife has a chronic illness

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Happy

Any chance

of a Playmobil illustration?

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Happy

always with protection

Talk to the hand.

No, seriously, talk to the hand!

This thing fits like a glove....wait a minute.....

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Paris Hilton

Quick Work out

Sex doesn't work for me. It only lasts 5 minutes and we need at least 30 minutes a day to keep in shape. Sometimes, it is not even 5....

Who would thought the Viagra could be used to fight high blood pressure???

Paris always get her workout!

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walk, dance and have safe sex.

All at the same time?

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