back to article Fat cat fanbois' obscene dream bling

One of the criticisms traditionally aimed at Apple has been that its products are overpriced compared to comparably equipped hardware. The assumption is that fanbois are willing to pay a premium for style over substance. Well, how about £1.93m ($2.97m) for an iPhone? That's the asking price for the Iphone [sic] 3GS Supreme Rose …

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Happy

a title,

Not really my market, but why do these 'ultra limited editions' always look like a child has got carried away with swarovski crystals and a bedazzler?

And does gluing diamonds to a laptop add value to the laptop or does gluing a laptop to diamonds take away value from the diamonds?

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Bonuses.

Had a multi-million dollar bonus for watching porn all day and stealing off the dweebs?

Don't know what to spend it on?

Step this way sir and allow us to relieve you of your burden.

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Unhappy

Not even funny...

Just sickeningly obscene =O/

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Anonymous Coward

Blinged tech goods from Liverpool?

I'll take the usual five-finger discount on that

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Clearly, you've never been to Adderley Edge or Wilmslowe?

There are people, out there, who would worry what sort of message they were sending out to their friends, by NOT owning this sort of grotesquery. If you have to steal it, Sir, then you must not have robbed a big enough bank.

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a53
Unhappy

Hmmm

Wouldn't be American Express, not in Liverpool!

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Apostrophe armageddon

Innit?

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FAIL

Can you imagine...

Can you imagine stepping into an Apple store to get one of these babies repaired?

I'm certain the Genius would tell you've voided the warranty.

These are truly horrible.

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Point?

Whats the point in buying a Mac Air and then adding 2.5kg to its weight??

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Battery

What do you do when the battery no longer holds its charge on your £1.93M Jesusphone?

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Bronze badge
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I imagine that....

....the owner will simply not care, or perhaps do a Streatham clothes horse impression and hurl the impaired object at their personal slave to ensure that they get a new one.

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Re: Battery

> What do you do when the battery no longer holds its charge on your £1.93M Jesusphone?

You just send your man to get new one and give the old one to the under-gardener.

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Happy

@Snafu 2

"What do you do when the battery no longer holds its charge on your £1.93M Jesusphone?"

Thats easy. U buy another one.

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Jobs Halo

Functionality

Putting diamonds on the buttons might finally solve the problem of them wearing down.

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Motorola already had that

The K series (aka KRZR) uses Al2O3 instead of glass or plastic for both screen. It is virtually impossible to scratch (you can actually scratch normal glass with it). It is not diamond, but not far off. On Mohs scale diamond is 10, while corundum is 9. As it is not crystal, but glass it does not pull full 9, but is not far off.

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Coat

"nice" today...

The problem with blinged up tech, is that tech only lasts so long.

Lets just imagine (REALLY hard) i have £2m to spend on some new bling, i think i would buy a super expensive watch or similar. In 20years time, a £2m watch is still going to be a nice £2m watch. In only 10 years time, your £2m iPhone is going to be just some old tech with gold and diamonds on it.

In fact, in less than 6 months time, your £2m top of the range iPhone is going to be the "old iphone"

I just cant get my head round it. Spend your money on something which will last.

*picture is me, stealing your £2m iphone from your jacket*

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It's one way to shift obsolete stock

That pimped iPhone looked like an earlier model. Even if it is diamond encrusted, the OS and functionality will be obsolete now that the 4G version will be here "soon". it'll probably be awkward enough to upgrade/repair even if they could find a mobe shop trustworthy enough not to "lose" a $2mil phone.

I suspect that those who buy these blinged gadgets will be investors who will then lock them away in a vault to appreciate in value and only bring them on show for special events....

or high-maintenance posarellas / "me-me-me" gangsta rappers who use them to make themselve look even more vain while their million dollar purchase rapidly depreciates in value due to wear and tear.

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Anonymous Coward

Anybody know...

...if this guy has actually _made_ any of these things, or are they just renders? Seems like a good way to get some publicity for your (whatever it is your really do) while taking the piss out of legions of indignant forum posters who scream about what a travesty of justice it all is.

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Quite possibly...

Clearly you aren't familiar with the "hall of luxury" at Harrods where you can actually view and buy loads of this type of uber bling. I agree it's hard to believe but it is real and evidently people do buy it. Goes to show money can't buy you good taste :/

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Silver badge

Retro fone battery

I would hope that retro mobile uses all the available space by putting a MASSIVE battery in, my crummy little Motorola gets a week standby time and 3 hours talk on a (only holds half capacity now) 920mAH battery, just imagine using 4x 3000mAh cells to have standby times of 8 months and talk times of 4 days!

"Hahaha! Your phone is massive!" - "Yeah but I only need to charge it twice a year..."

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/sigh

Good to see all the money in the world can't buy taste .

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Joke

Bad punctuation

makes me [sic].

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Anonymous Coward

Mystery solved.

I dropped my diamond faced iPhone and stood on it then slid ten feet which left hardly a scratch on it...

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Vomit.

...because losing your iphone wasn't painful enough!

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Practicality?

Do we know what impact replacing the lid of the Air (not to mention the back of the phone) with gold and/or platinum is on the antenna? The old Titanium PowerBooks had no end of trouble, I believe.

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Bling Fetishists Wet-Dream!

Utter cack! Do these things always have to look like a Taiwanese kiddy's toy you'd buy down the market for £1.99?!

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Alert

Fat cat fanbois' obscene dream bling?

Let me see now, all style no substance and costs a fortune. I see nothing unusual about that iPhone at all. Can't quite see what the writer is driving at.

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Anonymous Coward

Very Bling

So, perfect phone for well monied WAGS to whip out while they're quaffing Cristal then.....

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A Privee phone?

Well i felt like i needed to vomit after seeing these phones, so the Privy name seems appropriate!

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Anonymous Coward

There is a reason why the ice has platinum only for the lid

While Platinum is not the most dense material on our planet it is not far off. A laptop with a platinum body would be in the 5kg range. So there is a technical reason why the ice has it only on the lid.

They should advertise these in Russia though. While Putin has gone a very long way to ensure that Russia moves off from the "initial capital acquisition" there is still quite a few of potential buyers left for these over there for the time being. Not as much as 10 years ago, but definitely quite a few.

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Megaphone

Got £2m lying around doing nothing?

Then give it to fucking charity you self obsessed twunt.

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Go

render

That last pic is a render. Doubt if they'll ever make or sell any...but seems like all they need to do is *threaten* to make one, send out a render and they get tonnes of free publicity all over the web...presumably driving people to their viable and much cheaper gold-plating website service, where they make a reasonable income gold plating things for a few hundred quid a pop. Sounds like they've been learning a few things from apple's marketing dept along with covering their stuff in shiny oligarch-bait.

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I'm assuming...

...that the Iphone is a bit like Damian Hirst's deeply tacky skull - basically announced for advertising purposes, even if no-one actually buys it (or like the skull, it's only bought by 'a private client i.e. Damian+mates as a publicity/price-fixing operation).

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But...

...will it blend?

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Disgusting

People in this world are living on next to nothing and some people wouldn't blink at money like this.

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One word

Sic!

One question: What else do they put into the phone's body, you could make it into some sort of stash.

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Jobs Horns

Diamonds harder than driveway

I'd be worried about the damage this would do to my drive if I did the old drop->stand->slide maneuver.

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Anonymous Coward

Liverpool?

They might at least have let banksie draw on it...

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Bronze badge

So this is a ...

iPosh?

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