Ok then - Let's...
1) An iPhone, iPod and even the leading choice of Apple-Approved sanitary protection are all computers by any defintion that someone with a clue would give you. So, rather than just picking the one platform that Dear Leader forgot to conquer, why not face the fact they if it's Apple and Pocket-Sized, it's as restrictive as a ...... (Self moderated!)]
2) See above (re the state of surveys these days...). True, Fanboi's love them - but from my own (admittedly small) sampling of the Apple owners, I suspect the truth lies somewhere to the south of their claims.
3) You know, if you're still hearing the same cliches, maybe that ought to tell you something?
I'm not aware that Microsoft have plans to prevent me from simply installing an independently developed app without bothering with their marketing system. I can't just drop something on the phone myself? Sure about that???
4) No - I have the option of not deploying using the Market on Android, and I presume will still have this on the Microsoft platform as well. Unless you know different, in which case let me know because I would be genuinely interested to read it.
5) So because some people abuse a tool for which their is a perfectly legitimate use, you feel justified in just pulling it? Really? Congratulations - you've just killed the software industry!
6) Happy to be of some small service - http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/05/05/iphone_devs/
7) The OS X market isn't all that lucrative - which is actually a shame, because laptops / desktops are one of the things that Apple do well. Unfortunately though, they don't have market share. And yes, I know C. I also know C# and even dabbled with C++ back in the day, all of which means I have little use for Objective C.
To be honest, things like Java, Python and Ruby are I think where we should be going as developers. Cross platform is important.
8) Unfog your glasses, and peer a little deeper into the future... A nice, servicable, open source platform. Hmm... Based on one of the most popular languages on the planet Earth today...
I think Android is eventually going to win out - it's just as capable, isn't relying on a single manufacturer, and allows for the production of cheaper handsets in these challenging times. Still - just my view...