Just to clear things up...
For the benefit of the El Reg Readership, and to eliminate confusion pertaining to the meaning of communist / socialist / capitalist, I shall endeavor to put is to sleep once and for all, so we are all on the same page:
- Socialism : You have 2 cows. You give 1 to your neighbor that does not have any cows.
- Communism : You have 2 cows. The government confiscates them both and gives you a little milk.
- Fascism : You have 2 cows. The government takes them both and sells the milk
- Nazism : You have 2 cows. The government takes them both from you and summarily executes you.
- Bureaucracy : You have 2 cows. The government takes them both from you, shoots one, milks the other one to death and throws away the milk.
- Traditional Capitalism : You have 2 cows. You trade one for a bull, start breading a herd of cows, sell them and retire on the Bahamas
- Lehman Brothers Capitalism : : You have 2 cows. You sell 3 to a subsidiary company in Korea with a loan that your mother in law applied for with a bank in Brussels. You then negotiate a deal with a US company to buy your 4 cows back, so you can deduct the taxes owed on these 5 cows. The subsidies you receive from Europe for the milk from these 6 cows you invest, via a front company, in the Korean subsidiary. In your statement to the SEC you declare ownership of 8 cows with a call option on a 9th. You sell 3 cows to invest in a US breading farm, only to be unmasked as a fraud because you know nothing whatsoever about cows. You state you have no idea why the stables are empty and you’re put behind bars for a very long time.
- US Capitalism : You have 2 cows. You sell one and force the other to give milk for 4. You are very surprised when the animal drops dead.
- Walloon socialism : You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want 3.
- Japanese Techno-Capitalism : You have 2 cows. You genetically alter them so they become100 times smaller than a normal cow and produce 20 times more milk.
- German Techno-Capitalism :You have 2 cows. You genetically alter them so they grow to be 100 years old, eat once a month and milk themselves.
- British Democracy : You have 2 cows. They’re both stone raving looney tunes.
- Italian Capitalism : You have two cows. You don’t know exatly where they are, though. And the pasta’s ready.
- Russian Bureaucratic Socialism : You have 2 cows. You count them and discover you have 5. A recount determines there are actually 30 of them. A subsequent recount determines the final number is 17. You stop counting and open the 4th bottle of vodka of the day.
- French Republicanism : You own 2 cows. They are the most important cows in the world.
- Swiss Capitalism : You have 500 cows, but none of them are yours. They were put in your care by an ‘anonymous foreign party’.
- Hindu Theocracy : You have 2 cows and you idolize them.
- Flemish/Dutch system : You have 1 cow and you marry err…her.
- Bulgarian Socialism : You have 2 cows and make life as difficult for them as you possibly can. Consequently, one cow dies. In line with the principle of equality you kill one of your neighbors cows.
- Turkish Socialism : You have 2 cows. You trade them for goats so you don’t have to stand on your toes.
There. I hope we can all talk about the same thing now.