back to article Chinese hunters capture 'yeti'

Beijing scientists are poised to carry out DNA testing on a mystery beast captured by hunters and dubbed the "oriental yeti", the Telegraph reports. The oriental yeti The creature was snared in Sichuan province "after locals reported spotting what they thought was a bear". Hunter Lu Chin said: "It looks a bit like a bear but …

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It's in China? Deep Fried ...

... with plum sauce then.

B.

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Funny

I always expected a yeti to be a vaguely humanoid and very furry white creature with a stupid smile. Now it turns out it's a bear with mange. The disappointment...

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WTF?

Re: has a voice more like a cat and it is calling all the time

No bloody wonder, stuck in that awful cage, very cruel!

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g e
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They THINK it's calling

More likely it's saying

LET ME OUT OF THIS &*%$*&%£& CAGE YOU FILTHY EVIL *(^$*&^"£ <insert Prince Phillipness here>

Poor bloody animal. Mind you, it's exactly what the yanks would do to a friendly space alien having captured him from his broken-down intergalaxymobile. Cage. Photos. PROBE.

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Unhappy

Beat me to it

Poor thing looks terrible and must be mad with fear. Sure caught half of the bruises inside that cage.

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And yet...

assumptions aside, the Chinese have done this.

You may welcome your Sino-American overlords.

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Paris Hilton

Yes yes

If it were the Brits the critters home territory would be redefined inciting cultural conflict and if it were the French, the critter would have captured them. etc., etc., ad nauseam.

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Coat

Fun with journalists.

1) Capture a furry animal. Any will do, but one that's not commonly seen in public is best.

2) Shave it.

3) Release where it's likely to be seen / caught.

4) Run a sweep on what name the world's press is going to pin on this one.

5) Get coat. (Unless it's already missing due to the actions of the mysterious and hairless "mythical, coat-ravaging hell-beast" - exclusive pictures in late edition).

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I think it is a Bear Cat with mange

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_cat

Maybe one kept as a pet escaped (or one raised for food escaped)

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Binturong

@eriksolo: I think you're right. It does look like the animals in the pictures except that it lost its fur and looks sick and miserable. Poor thing.

As for using the word "Yeti" in the story - for shame, Register.

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Pint

You know this beast.

Spare the cage and this is your mother-in-law.

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Honestly....

It's like the UFO shots you see... Nobody who has any photographic ability sees a UFO.

Same goes for this creature, there are no reference points for size. This thing could be anywhere between the size of a rat and an elephant, there's no way to tell...

Although I'm erring on the side of rat... A bald one.

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Joke

Ah, that's cousin Tanglehoof

Never really did well in Druid School. Flunked out at level 10, actually... Always failing shape-shifting... Last I heard he was contemplating becoming a shammie instead... only that wolf trick to learn...

Looks like he got caught.

... Ok, it's a WoW joke, but it's about as appropriate in here as that picture of that suffering, mangy, deformed dog. I honestly hope they are kind to it, or at least treat it humanely.

Somehow or rather, I... think ... not...

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It's a

panda with alopecia

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Happy

Smells like buttered popcorn

..Tastes like buttered popcorn ??

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Go

Poor thing!

That suffering creature, by the look of the sores in the picture, has something much more serious than a superficial case of hair-shedding "mange". Those mounded-up volcano-cone wounds speak deafeningly to this one of a massive deep-seated full-body infestation by flesh-eating Sarcoptic Mites. They eat their way out of the host's body once their numbers increase past a certain critical mass, much as honeybees swarm once the hive is near-overpopulated.

Millions of 'em, all throughout the body. Lumps under the skin that walk about at an inch an hour when stimulated have been observed by YT. That poor bear is more than passingly likely crying out from the pain of being eaten alive from the inside outward, imvho.

For Goodness' sake, wouldn't you?

The cure for this condition, be it in beast or man samesame, is known as Transdermal Ivermectin. Five ml/cc concentration, one cc/10-kilo dosage. (One cc per 22 lbs body weight, in other words.) Available without prescription from any veterinary supply house on the Web, although party-line MD Doctors do tend to vigorously disapprove of the saving of ones' own life by ones' own hand via Smart Shopping and Intelligent Googling. All that self-serving and barbarous AMA party-line hasbara aside, half a pint of Iver-On and/or similar competing preparations (an adequate amount indeed; save the rest for post-drainage liniment to be wise) tend to run about $25-30. USD at this writing. Shop smart and save - ripoffs from various Vi9gra-pushing Pill Hausen are Out There too. But Farmer Brown does not fool around when Bossy is suffering - help in called for on the spot, and Free Vi9gra be reliably damned. Transdermal Ivermectin is where it is at when the bugs go that thick.

Two doses, timed apart by 72 hours (minimum, 96 hours maximum) eradicates first the living colonies and then their hatchling spawn. The compassionate zoologist and Smart Human Being alike will then energetically go after that which attracted the bugs to the meat in the first place: Fungus eradication is the key to a full permanent recovery. Wipe out the fungus and thus the pheromones otherwise emitted, and the mites no longer smell out the meat for dinner - the forest floor and soi are really all they need in order to survive as a Beneficial Species. (We'd be over our heads in dry leaves and twigs as well as lawn-thatch were it not for their rightful place and activity there.)

So how to "de-fungulate" the meat? For the human, the metabolic product of live non-dairy Acidophilus bacteria as abundantly found in homemade Saurekraut (two cups of the fresh juice a day for a few short months, or until all evidence of fungus is gone) in concert with top-rate hygienic methods, a healthy diet and additional vitamind will generally do it. Just buy the white cabbage wholesale; shred, salt and ferment the stuff as directed on many a Web recipe site. Hold the nose and learn to like it for the effect if not for the rich, pungent aroma and flavor.

As for the bear: I doubt that that sufferin' critter might ever be induced to willingly swallow the stuff, although I have been surprised a few times before - critters seem to know what isw good for 'em more often than the Naked Ape humanoids, all in all. A proper course of azole treatment just might be the right thing for that guy, one thinks. Not that I wouldn't put a bowl of kraut juice in the cage, though. (How else to know?)

I do tend to think fermented Bok Choi juice (aka 'kimchee') might do just as well in Another Part of the World, come to think of it - a matter of availability, maybe taste and likely price too, is all.

So please, might someone better-connected that this one to the relevant local Chinese authorities kindly pass the word on regarding this? This is all that this one can do tonight; just can't stand to sit idly by enjoying BOFH while anyone at all (non-human or indeed otherwise) suffers needlessly. Once that poor thing is all cured up and has their fur back, I for one do expect he'll remember with gratitude for the remainder of their natural life. :)

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Aaaagh Its stuck in my head

I've got the Mexican Hat dance tune going through my head played on air horns..

La Chupercaba , La Chupercaba , La , La La

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I call

Rat

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