You had me
right up 'til "Google cares about privacy"
As part of its ongoing mission to "organize the world's information and make it universally accessible," Google has launched a new effort to scan every person on earth and put them on the interwebs. Dubbed Google People View, the project is underway in multiple American cities, including San Francisco, New York, Las Vegas, Miami …
right up 'til "Google cares about privacy"
Now might be a good time to announce our StripSearch algorithm*. Working with Google's new digital human database and Health and Efficiency magazine we have developed software which can removing clothing from the digihuman moels to reveal the person underneath. Opt-out forms are available at google.com/pr1vacy/500error.html
*Patent pending in East Texas
you're grammer and speling are apauling.
(I blame gravitron waves from the LHC ed.)
...but no doubt west sussex won't get one for ages and ages...
Although Perhaps Reg Is Lying
For Our Ostentatious Laughter
"Google cares about privacy,"
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, funniest line I've read for ages
Seriously, anyone working in marketing and advertising: kill yourselves now, do the world a favour. We don't need you! You are a blight on your species, a waste of resources. Curl up and die.
... acknowledge it. Dont try and pass it off as your own. Your not that clever.
Props to Bill Hicks - the last great prophet...
But you'll only give them ideas!
...let's just hope Google aren't reading this and think what a great idea it would be...
...quite the exclusive you've got here. I can't seem to find it anywhere else today ;)
I for one welcome my body-scanning, perv-picturing, advertisement-supplying April 1st Overlords!
Can we have more stories about nuclear fusion fuel prills made from our own poo, as well?
I, for one, welcome a pril-fuels story - even if it is a load of shit.
That is all (have noticed a few others, will be keeping track!!!!)
Apparently Phorm have countered this by patenting a system whereby children are intercepted at birth, tatooing them with a unique code that will track them through their entire life.
And hoping nobody will notice.
that is all...
The scary thing is it almost sounds true. Until you read the bit about Google caring about user's privacy that is! ;)
And a little satire to boot :-)
In two words: Fuck that.
It's all very "Ghost in the Shell" if you ask me. Quick! Best get those attack barriers in place in case of a back-hack.
Problem is, being google, this is utterly belivable.
But then....I saw the line about valuing privacy and new it had to be a joke.
I don't have a dog, I'm gonna miss out on this one
I thought they were too busy translating. ;)
sound like euphemisms for the sort of place Fry met Bender. After all, real planning ahead can hardly avoid the realisation there are too many people. Digitised / atomised, ultimately the same thing isn't it?
The scary thing is that I wouldn't put it past them. Today, though, I'll file it under "Well executed April Fools"
One look at my image and I'll be inundated with ads for slimming, pills, hair restorer and viagra. Oh, no change there then.
I make that seven 1st April spoofs. Ambassador, you spoil us.
Right, I've only read to the 2nd paragraph so far...but:
"Google is operating multi-million-dollar kiosks where registered Google users can create a reasonable facsimile of themselves via motion capture and digital photography and upload it to the company's servers."
Am I right in feeling worried about the social and political implications of the trend to voluntarily surrendering incredible personal details to big corporations? Booths? Regestration? Er....
Anyhoo, back to the article.
That was good. Very good...had me until the penultimate paragraph.
*reaches for Patent App*
..can I be digitised with a hard-on so I don't get sent any more Viagra ads.
Depends if you can fit it in the booth, I guess?
Google cribs Reg hacks... dooms humanity.
Still funny, though!
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/04/01/lhc_fifth_dimension_incursion/ has another one.
Uh, all joking aside, isn't this sort of thing what the last Bush administration wanted, along with Bliar and Co in The Blighted ? The ultimate Biometrics. Multi-terbyte HDs make the storage demands possible. After all, the concept of citizen is dead. We are mere consumers now.
To misquote Euripedes ?
In targeted advertising we live and move and have our being
Another case of reality imitating fiction. Not that many good AF this year. Good tries in El Reg though
who cares about googe privacy, i just enjoy google's aproach to adverts, and screen real-estate, i can enjoy and ignore google adverts if i see them, what i truly hate, as do lots of low level users like me, is banner adverts, lets face it, google uses targeted, text, adverts. who cares? we can ignore them, its the banner. java skript, full page pop ups, we hate..... id rather have googles descrete, ignorable adverts.
franc, not a uber-leet educated techy person.