Readers of the Daily Mail have fired up the Twat-O-Tron at the shock news that a Bromley woman found a Romanian living in her garden shed. Now, we're not sure if Romanian shed-dwellers represent a greater threat to Middle England than their Lithuanian counterparts, but shaken 22-year-old Tilly Newman is determined that that her …
The Daily Mail
The Daily Mail website is my first stop for humourous reading. There is nothing so amusing as Mail commentards, everybody should try it.
I remember once a friend of mine who worked in local radio told me that most of the more ridiculous calls made to radio talk shows were made by media studies students as part of their courses. I'm not sure this is true, but I suspect an awful lot of the comments posted to the Daily Mail website may originate from bored students, or possibly Charlie Brooker.
Re: The Daily Mail
No, there really are people like that. Hordes of them, who believe everything they say.
Also, a Venn diagram of this place and that place would show a considerable overlap.
Nice to know I'm not alone
I thought it was just me who headed to the Daily Mail when in need of a good laugh
We Have Faux News
Is the DM a Murdoch rag?
The silly hordes
Ah, the general public. How inconvenient that they have opinions.
@Also, a Venn diagram of this place and that place would show a considerable overlap.
Yes - part of what makes life so bizarre! I don't think I will ever get used to it.
The saddest part
It's bad enough that there are people like that, but even worse is the Daily Mail moderates the comments in their favour. First off you have to agree with the story, and you get extra consideration if your comments are irrational, jingoistic and possibly make no sense at all.
The Telegraph's website is another good place to find nutters. Visit any global warming or Obama opinion piece and behold the sheer stupidity on display. For example every Obama story is 100% guaranteed to attract slobbering birther idiots to laugh at.
Same readership as the Mail
Well what do you expect when the quality of the journalism is much the same...
Although I would like to add that it was men in sheds that made this nation Great, maybe this is the start of a new outsourcing oppertunity.
CNN and Faux News here in the States depending on if your a lefty or righty. Strangely enough though CNN is much worse about moderating opinions that may accidentally stray into the mainstream moderate part of the spectrum (couldn't be due to elitist liberals silencing dissent). I guess Fox with raging Teabaggers has less concern with this. The key is always keep the people divided fighting each other so they don't notice you and your buddies looting them blind regardless of your supposed political stances.
A 22 year old with a SHED? No way...
...I think I'm in love!!
After I wrote that I thought I'd better check to see what she looks like, just in case she usually spent her time chained up in said shed to avoid scaring the neighbours. Thankfully she looks pretty spiffing.
Re: I think I'm in love
Until she's got two sheds she's not worth bothering with.
Just thinking of *maybe* getting another is enough?
i want a shed ...
i feel deprived and jealous !!
RE: I know...
"Thankfully she looks pretty spiffing."
Yes, she's really cute. I wonder what she looks like when she 'sheds' her clothes?
Her name is Tilly
That tells you enough to know she probably also has someone to do her garden for her, hence why she doesn't get down to said shed often enough.
Not Tilly's shed
It would indeed be impressive if she had a property with garden big enough for a shed to house someone - but it's not her house or shed.
She's a 22 yr old accountant who lives with her mum and hooray-henry brother. What a catch...
She'd then need to change her name to Arthur Jackson?
Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours
"We wondered who he was. We saw him a couple of times eating in the garden when the family were out and he said hello. He looked so at home we presumed he was a friend of the family and didn't say anything."
How wonderfully middle-class. You can imagine Penelope Keith in 'The Good Life' doing this.
Well, at least he recycles properly
Which is more than my neighbours do.
I'd also like to congratulate Miss Newman on her fine-looking shed.
@Well, at least he recycles properly
That was his downfall - if he'd deliberately messed up the recycling bins, the homeowner would have had to pay a £100,000 fine and been sentanced to ten years in prison, in which time he could've squatted and eventually, through "squatters rights" legally claimed ownership of the house, and then bought his 17 brothers, 13 sisters, 28 kids and his 5 parents to live there.
Sorry, just been on the DM website
Paris weeps at the sorry state of UK immigration (haven't used here for a while)
My old man found a Russian dude sleeping in his allotment shed. They both just about shat themselves. Dad told him to hop it, but then had a change of heart and called him back for a cup of tea - it was a freezing November morning in Dundee.
Strange thing is, it was all sorted without any need for a story in the Daily Mail or the cranking up of any Twat-0-Tron.
Anybody would think the Mail is pandering to its readers' petty xenophobia in a transparent attempt to generate fake sentiment and perhaps sell more papers, tsk tsk.
no no no
"the Mail is pandering to its readers' petty xenophobia"
his human rights to live in her shed
Where does this guy have to go? Seems like driving this guy off doesn't solve anything.
Are you offering your shed or spare room to him then?
Just a thought...
"Where does this guy have to go?" Romania? Don't mean to sound like a Daily Mail reader but...
Why didn't she charge him rent?
If she'd charge him rent, he could keep an eye open for intruders.
Alternatively, the local constabulary should hire and train an extra cop (and raise the council tax, explicitely mentioning the nice lady's address), to sit on a chair in front of her shed. I'm sure it will be a popular job, possibly a fair fin-de-carriere for older, slightly-rheumatic bobbies.
In both cases her privacy is a bit diminished.
Send them packing!
Send him packing, that's what I say!
We don't want no Johnny foreigners mucking up our sheds!
Doesn't he have his own shed to live in?
Back in my day, we were lucky to have a shed to live in, let alone one that some foreign blighter could live in.
It's a damn shame, what is the country coming to?
Why, when I were a young Anglo Saxon, we had hordes of foriegn johnnys invading our beloved land - Vikings, Jutes, Danes - you name it!
All these horrible foriegners taking our women and sheds - it just wasn't on.
What did we fight the great wars for if not to stop these rotters sleeping in our sheds?
Next thing you know, they'll be reading our papers too - perish the thought they got hold of my beloved Daily Mail, purveyor of quality content and informed reporting!
What is the world coming to!
Is nothing sacred anymore!
I'm going to lock up my shed from now on, just in case we get invaded by these dangerous villans!
You Were Lucky!
Oooh we dreamed of living in a shed etc. (in a Yorkshire accent).
Cops first, ask questions later
Frankly, I'm surprised this hasn't happened to more garden-owning citizens. The number of people hiding in sheds these days is staggering, it really is almost zero. Unbelievable. I have found vagrants living in my shed not once, not twice, but no times at all! Of course, my first reaction upon discovering that there is nobody living in, nor complimenting me on my shed is ALWAYS to call the police, especially if the persons I haven't found are Romanian and they have been doing my recycling. You can't be too careful, these days, I say. I would really like to see some government legislation on this (although there is a fat chance of that before the General Elections!!!??)
"no times at all"?
Sounds to me like you need a better shed, they're obviously being put off by the poor quality accomodation you're offering.
I once owned a house with a crap leaky shed and nobody lived in that, so it must be true.
Notice how she's holding the Coke can.
Looks like she made a bit of extra dosh...
Just checked the original story, and there was a second pic; also with her conspicuously holding a can of Coke.
There's no way that is accidental. The photographer gave that to her.
"Romanian Squatter! (Brought to you exclusively by the Coca-Cola Corporation)"
Is she a billionaire or something?
She had enough space in her shed to have the furniture in a position fit for a person to sleep on? Actually she had enough space in her shed for a person to come in without putting out half of the shed onto the lawn first?
Victor Meldrew Mode: I can't believe it!
Who cares about the shed
She looks pretty fit to me, so I'd sleep in her shed anyday
Fit she may be
But do you really want to associate with the sort of person who calls up the Daily Mail at the drop of a hat? You'd probably have to prove three centuries of anglo saxon lineage before being let over the threshold.
One might reasonably assume you'd be banished to the aforementioned shed for the mere suggestion of pre-marital fish 'n' chips. Maybe that's why she needs the space out there. Or maybe this so-called Bulgarian shed-squatter is in fact only the most recent casualty.
Oh, the humanity.
this is a me too post
paris icon. think of it, if she had a shed!
Only three centuries of lineage
My family were some of the earliest shed invaders, coming over with the Normans.
shurely shome mishtake...
With a name like yours, i would have expected you to have come over with the shed builders. But then, I suppose the same could be levelled at me :-)
What have the romans ever done for us, etcetera ad nausea
She should thank him...
If her shed was that easy to enter, and her powers of observation that weak, she could have been minus the lawnmower and garden furniture if he hadn't been there to guard them.
The photo is amusing...
quotation to go with photo:
"She is my sister. She is number-four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan. "
Can I be the first to welcome our
shed dwelling oh hang on a minute
playmobil shed available
... you know what to do ... you know you want to
Tilly does look quite nice. Will she appear on Page 3 soon?
Page 3 of the Daily Mail?
Living in a shed?
He were lucky.
she is bang tight like
maybe i could live in her shed. i'd quite happily preen her bush in exchange.
The Daily Mail Song
For anyone who hasn't heard it, the Daily Mail song is well worth a listen:
In soviet romania, shed lives in you!
Been happening here for a while. Although the picture chosen here isn't so attractive.
Ah well, if the economy goes to the toilet like is expected then all that's happening is they're ahead of the curve...
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- OHM MY GOD! Move over graphene, here comes '100% PERFECT' stanene