Big news from the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) overnight. The titanic proton-punisher has once again smashed all records to achieve the most powerful particle beams ever generated by the human race, at energies of 3.5 Tera-electron-volts - the maximum redline power at which the mighty machine can currently be safely run. Slide …
So that's what happened!
"much the same as if HMS Invincible had suddenly popped out of nowhere"
So that's the origin of all those stories about time-travelling warships! When they switch it to full power the black hole it creates will rip open a gap in time.
I've seen this before
It's obviously what the Philadelphia Experiment was based on.
Someone from the future got sent back in time and that's how the story started!
The Philadelphia Experiment?
Nah, it was "The Final Countdown" (1980) starring Dirk Kouglas.
Negative reality inversion in dump core
How do we know one isn't happening as we speak? Has anyone gone down to check for Xen monsters and suchlike?
whilst the scientists slept, something stirred within the altered carbon..."
To take your crowbar with you.
7 TeV beams, which can be crossed
They really didn't listen to the safety advice in ghostbusters did they?
Special relativity fail
The energy in the beams, measured in GeV, really is the energy, not the velocity. Half the energy is half the energy. If the beam is at 3.5TeV rather than 7 it's still going near-as-dammit at the speed of light. Oh, and it's also proportional to the luminosity (brightness) of the beams - how many protons are in all the bunches. Which at this early stage is a tiny fraction of the maximum. The energy of a trundling Reliant Robin, perhaps.
The total energy in the beams is the particle energy in GeV (normally called the beam energy) multiplied by the number of particles. at 7TeV this equates to the kinetic energy stored in an aircraft carrier at 12 knots. Relativity does not apply to things whose speed is measured in knots, they were excused.
So, half the beam energy of 3.5TeV, assuming the same luminosity = number of protons, results in the aircraft carrier moving at root2 x 12 knots.
In full running condition, dozens of individual beams are packed into a square lattice within the beam cross-section, Im not sure how many of these they are running right now. This aspect of the machine is incredibly clever - how they cool down the transverse momentum of the protons so that they stay in tight 0.5mm beams for 100 hours. This looks to be working, as the screenshot suggests - and is worthy of another Reg article.
Keep up the good work.
Has it become one of those French aircraft carriers that can't go very fast? Why is the aircraft carrier in a tunnel? Aircraft carriers are not supposed to ram things. If the Swiss fund their Navy to build aircraft carriers in tunnels, that might explain the current importance of the Swiss Navy. Should the Swiss rethink their naval policy?
Comment of The Week Candidate
"Relativity does not apply to things whose speed is measured in knots, they were excused."
(shame you ruined it later: you mean 12 / root2)
The Milliard Gargantubrain?
A mere abacus - mention it not
Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster Impact ?
But can the impact of these beams be compared to that of a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster = "like having your brains bashed out by a slice of lemon - wrapped around a brick" ?
Thats a large gold brick I think you will find.
Is it powerful enough to run Windows Vista?
vista's no problem...
...but it only gets 10 fps in Crysis =/
What's more intriguing.
Is the 4.00 entry "Ramp started with bucket."!
Is that all this dimension distorting scientific wizardry is then? A giant game of Mousetrap?
What tunes are they listening to? I do hope it was "Stuck in an infinite loop" by Prof. J.D. Dougherty (http://www.haverford.edu/physics/songs/)
And after the core dumping..
a boffin was seen leaving the cavern, waving his hand around and was quoted as saying "I'd leave it a good half hour before you go in there."
Mine's the one with toilet roll hanging out of the pocket.
In the event of an accident..
...I'd say the safest thing to do would be to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.
Mine's the one with the floppy hat and extra long scarf.
Reverse... polarity... neutr - Pffft!
Thank you very much.
Although I am sure some politician somewhere could give grant money to determine how to reverse the polarity of a particle without polarity.
Meh, nothing but a hi-tech gravel trap!
The best comment... heh heh!
I for one am preparing
to welcome our new pan-dimensional reptilian overlords.
If / when John Titor's predicted micro singularities will manifest and I can trade in my sky plus boxes for a GE time machine?!
...how long it will be before some General reads that description of the effects of a beam escape, and starts thinking for the first time in his life. Can you spell "WEAPON"?
I'd be surprised
If they haven't already thought of it. That much money, power and size would only make it feasible for planetary defence at the moment of course. Kinda like the "honking big spaceguns" from SG-1
Does this mean someone's going to have to paint a new red line?
I seriously hope the top boffin actually got to utter the words 'MORE POWER!'
And when it they finally go whole hog, someone says lets take it all the way to 11.
I hope he got to say "Bring in the Logic Probe!" first...
the guy on the loud handle is called "Igor"
Bet theres a thunderstorm near by when its finally ramped up to maximum power
One stray bolt of lightning and Ka-bloomy!
@ Max Sang
The aircraft carriers aren't relativistic...
Yes, but they are relatively big.
How do you know?
I mean, those Kilrathi get everywhere.
Carrier has arrived
what about protoss ones?
Collateralised Credit Facility ....... the CDO meets ITs Nemesis.
"I wonder......how long it will be before some General reads that description of the effects of a beam escape, and starts thinking for the first time in his life." ..... Tom Kelsall Posted Friday 19th March 2010 14:34 GMT
Wow ..... that would be Tantamount to IT Performing Remote Miracles too, Tom Kelsall, and who would be Fool enough to Rule it Out, given what is Now Known about IT in ITs Remote Leading Circles and Circuses.
I would Fear for their Sanity though whenever they Realise the Damage they have been Doing to Themselves and Innocents, in the Name of Peace and Stability/Democracy and Capitalism .....which is surely their Madness confirmed.
750 tonnes of concrete
I'm not convinced a chunk of 750 tonnes of concrete would stop a 12knot aircraft carrier?
750 tonnes of concrete
I think you missed the bit where it is bolted into a cave in a large mountain.
750 tonnes of concrete AND...
a giant graphite sponge.. it works like a gravel trap where 4 tonnes of gravel can stop a 40 tonne truck (by creating 4 tonnes of grapeshot? and a 'ton' of noise). anyway The graphite converts the kinetic energy into something else, im not sure what but I do know that it is pretty radioactive and nasty.
mmmmkay. Bring back Naomi Klein. Can you spell Vapid Hippy?
Hopefully the technology will percolate - I would love to see 7TeV beams incompetently deployed on Road Wars.
Calm down Lewis
"unimaginably violent particle collisions at 14 TeV"
That's about 1 hundred thousandth of a Joule. Quite a lot for a single particle, but hardly unimaginable. A fart is several orders of magnitude more violent.
Yeah. But we're not talking about a single particle, are we? We're talking about several billion of them in a stream travelling at nearly the speed of light. I don't, therefore, think you're being entirely fair.
RE: aircraft carriers - at 8-12 knots an aircraft carrier takes several football-pitch lengths to stop using its own engines. If one hit something solid at that speed the damage would be very, very serious.
Aircraft carrier analogy
Analogies are good when you have the relevant experience to picture the them in your mind. I'm struggling with how destructive an aircraft carrier at 8 or 12 knots might be though. Seen an Australian Navy Frigate plough in to Hobart harbour at a couple of knots at the 75th Royal Australian Navy celebrations in the 80's and that did a fair amount of damage.
Still, with the way Royal Navy commanders have been handling their vessels recently I suppose it's only a matter of time....
was quite good at stopping things, too; HMAS Voyager and USS Frank E Evans. And she was only a "light" aircraft carrier.
You have your own ballpark example right there. You just need to imagine a ship around 4 times as heavy at 4 times the speed (16x energy). A factor of 64 should be easy enough to imagine.
I have never seen a Frigate ramming a harbour, so I do indeed struggle with the analogy, but I will shortly be visiting YouTube to see what I can find :-)
Pah. How hard can it be?
I'm sure most of the Reg readership have dumped core at some point in their careers.
Figuring out why it dumped is usually *much* more difficult.
Mine's the one with the old Unix manual in the pocket.
Yeah. I've dumped core in my time.
Mine's the one with the Indian Takeaway menu in the pocket...
One thing I'm unsure about ...
These protons whipping round and round gain angular momentum from the surroundings .. Earth
Not to question where the dump is located cos that may make things worse!!
Doom Gloom and 48hour days!!
How the Telegraph put it...
The beams weren't at full intensity (only 'pilot'), a mere 5 x10^9 protons as opposed to around 10^14 for a nominal run.
So more like the aircraft carriers you bring at bathtime.
- Analysis iPhone 6: The final straw for Android makers eaten alive by the data parasite?
- First Crack Bloke buys iPHONE 6 and DROPS IT to SMASH on PURPOSE
- Early result from Scots indyref vote? NAW, Jimmy - it's a SCAM
- First Fondle Register journo battles Sydney iPHONE queue, FONDLES BIG 'UN
- TOR users become FBI's No.1 hacking target after legal power grab