back to article Men lie more in online dating - except about their weight

Help is at hand for those who make use of - or perhaps help to run - online dating services. A new study has revealed who is most likely to tell lies about what aspects of themselves when seeking love on the interwebs. In short, if you go to a romantic rendezvous with someone you met online and they turn out to be a different …

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Why does anyone on dating sites lie about physical attributes?

After all, when they meet the person they have been lying to, they will see quite quickly that its a short, fat, bald man than a tall, thin, blue eyed, blond hair type of thing.

But then people do lie in person. That fake diamond ring, padded bra, tight undergarments hiding their fat, keyfob for a sports car rather than the old banger they really drive, using tricks to hid the mark where their wedding ring sits, and thats before they open their mouths.

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FAIL

At least its all real

At least the data in the survey has been obtained from actual people rather than fake profiles.

Is there a comparison statistic for fake people (created by the dating industry) about how much they are lying?

It is one thing to be suprised that "Annabelle, 28 from hampshire" is slightly overweight, and not 6" 4but entirely different to find out that she doesn't exist at all.

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Rich?

My guess for the number one men's lie would have been "I'm single"

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Welcome

True

I've met three women from dating sites over the last few years, and all of them complained that most men they had met turned out to be married, and just after something on the side

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Stop

Ahem

First woman I met off a dating site said she was divorced - she wasn't. In fact, her husband (who lived in the US) was under the impression everything was fine and she was just visiting family in the UK for a couple of months.

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FAIL

And the news is?

My 8 year old could have done this research. Is there really anything anybody didn't expect in this? Women are worried about their physical appearance, men say anything to appear more attractive to the opposite sex so they can get in to their knickers, and everybody wants to be liked. Duh!

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FAIL

In the words of House M.D.

Everybody lies.

Nothing new to see here, move along etc etc.

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Joke

not sure I'd look on the brightside

If I was a woman (or indeed a gay man come to that) and I turned up to a date to find that the man had not lied about being 15 stone but was in fact 4'6" instead of the advertised 6'4"

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Unhappy

Lying Mare...

Not just men who lie about their age. Tried the online dating thing and gave up after meeting too many women who lied about their age.

"Slim, attractive, mid-30s" - make that over-weight, over-the-hill and knocking on the door of 50...

A sexist comment? Possibly, but as the poster above said, why bother lying when you are going to meet that person?

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Lying Mare...

'Lying mare' - well, you may be telling the truth about someone who lied but yes, that is rather sexist. At the least it's an extrapolation too far.

But y'know, whatever. I don't care about who any of you date, don't date, refuse to date, lie about dating, bitch about, or fantasise about killing and dumping in a ditch.

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Flame

I don't know which is sadder

the fact that people are so desperate for dates that they look for them *online*

or the fact that they *lie* while searching for the said dates.

any way, I find 2D girls to be better (no, this is not *sad*)

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: I don't know which is sadder

Wow, you find 2D girls?

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The alternative is what, exactly?

It should be obvious that some groups of online daters are a little over-represented as compared to the real world because they lack the ability to socialise in places containing a suitable partner.

Leaving that aside, it can take a substantial effort to meet people in real life. It's not enough to be a rounded person with friends and hobbies - they have to be the right type of friends and hobbies to locate a partner.

The options therefore are to continually try new hobbies, find new friends or spend a considerable amount of time in places inhabited by single people of your choice; an activity you may loathe if you dislike the location. I submit that selecting new hobbies/friends/places where the emphasis is finding a partner/shag rather than enjoying yourself is substantially more sad and soul destroying than online dating.

Online dating is probably the best alternative solution. It can be done when you're not busy with anything else, it's always there and will more reliably deliver single people that can be contacted, as opposed to hobbies, parties and suchlike. The fact online dating has its own set of pitfalls that means it's not necessarily more successful than real life is a different matter.

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Anonymous Coward

but don't you find

that your relationships lack depth?

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Thumb Up

2D girls

They all have the same surname, .jpg.

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Anonymous Coward

lady palm

I read that as he'd rather entertain lady palm and her 4 daughters over some (probably illegal by the time I finish typing) cartoon porn, than meet a real person.

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Coat

2D girls

..aren't they called models?

Sorry, cheap shot (speaking as someone who prefers girls/guys who don't look like they will snap in half if you're not super-careful)...

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Anonymous Coward

2D

2D, that's a high school class, right?

You sick, sick puppy.

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2D girls

They are called blow-up dolls with a puncture.

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Anonymous Coward

Exactly!

Met my lass online about a year ago now. Im mid twenties, (and pretty normal I reckon), with a small tight group of friends, none of whom had any friends I was remotely interested in, but I dont like night clubs.

Looking online was far far less stressful than taking up new hobbies I wasnt interested in, which is effectively lying to potential partners in itself.

No lies on either of our profiles.

Best thing I ever did I reckon.

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Paris Hilton

@Les Matthew

I've met some surnamed png, gif, and bmp; though the latter tend to be larger by far.

All of them are quiet and quite nice. the really loud ones are named mp4 and flv.

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Happy

2D

Actually most men I know find DD girls attractive :P

<duck to avoid the shower of padded bra's >

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@"Wow, you find 2D girls?"

He has a thing for Kate Moss.

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Coat

In the world of online dating

Everyone is really a 45 year old trucker called Dave.

Signed,

Dave the Trucker

/mine's the one with the Scania keys in the pocket

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Silver badge

truth?

Does anyone every tell the truth online?

I thought their were RFCs about that.

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It's difficult to dispute much of that, however..

There's at least two extremely basic errors with what he's saying.

First, that lying is "not necessarily manipulative, but rather reflects a desire to be liked and to fit in". That may be particularly kind phrasing, but it is very definitely manipulation. The fact the intention is not a malicious one does not stop it being manipulation, even if the person has convinced themselves otherwise.

More seriously, the assertion that the lies people tell depends on the type of people they are. Without seeing proper analysis I suggest the lies people tell depends on what they have done rather than who they are. There might be a correlation between extroverts and number of partners, but that does not equate to 'extroverts lie about their number of partners because they are extroverts'.

Certainly, if the 'non smoker, rare drinker' I had a date with once had been upfront that the first thing they'd do on the date was light up a fag and expect a G&T I'd never have met them.. (I don't like dating smokers, for obvious reasons).

It's not really a surprise that people will present themselves in the best possible light, and when that continues to fail, will start lying to increase their chances of success.

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Anonymous Coward

For some reason

I can't get the image of Mr Logic (from Viz) out of my head

But may I say, best of luck to Peter in his attempts to find a soulmate

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Thumb Up

Cheers! (I think...)

I'm not particularly like Mr. Logic - I do a lot of socialising and meet new people. The problems are age old ones such as one person not fancying the other (last week it was someone not fancying me, this week it is me running away from someone I find uninteresting and unfanciable), different requirements, distance and suchlike. I spent the weekend with more than one person who would probably be interesting and attractive enough - if only they weren't also attached.

Online dating at least provides a very large population of people to contact/be rejected by (if you want to be cynical). I can't say it's been staggeringly successful in finding anything beyond short term partners, but it has resulted in at least one long term friendship.

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Unhappy

Too many lies

I'm on a dating website, and I've discovered the hard way that the pictures women post of themselves are never recent or acurate ones.

One date had the check to put a 10 year old picture up.

I'd like to add that I haven't lied at all with my dating profile. Maybe that's why I'm not getting anywhere ? (And no comments about me being 20-stone - I'm not !)

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Badgers

2D?

Is that double D?

I meet 4D women all the time, they're the ones who don't have time for you.

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Bronze badge
Troll

Bummer

I never lie in my profile, that is obviously why I am not meeting lots of women!!!

And those who do reply, say they look like Paris Hilton, but turn out to look like this!!!

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Silver badge
WTF?

A prof, eh?

I presume this "national matchmaking service" was US based so the best he could surmise was that the stats reflect USian mating behavior. That is not to say that people are really different anywhere else, just that they might lie about different things. With this kind of bleeding edge research, he must have a PhD in Duh, hasn't read a resume or cv and, being from Kansas, never been to a singles bar.

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Heart

What?? Really???

You are allowed to LIE on those websites?? Isn't that cheating??

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FAIL

Dating, schmating!

If you really want Sex and Companionship, hire a hooker and buy a dog!

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Joke

But

But for you, one would wonder the order....

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Boffin

Lies, damn lies, and statistics

So if most statistics are made up, what is the deal with statistics about number of people telling lies??

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Bronze badge
Grenade

the real truth of who lies most

it's the spam harvesting fake accounts.

Another observation is the distinctly great possibility (based on waaay too much personal experience) that the difference shows men willing to admit to it because they intend to meet and women not admitting it because they don't intend to meet so won't get caught out. they're there for the "game" and get almost everything they need from the search and scoring based on the pursuit of men. I've known women who don't even actually care or realize that the person they're chatting with aren't computer NPCs but actual humans with feelings. The more effort their "mark" makes, the better she feels (I'm worth that much!) but that's as far as she dares go-and the more lies deliberately behind creating her "character" the easier it is for her to justify a complete break from it with no chance of consequences.

That doesn't even touch the women who "multi" or create accounts as members of the 'other faction".

for example, ever notice how a huge, almost majority, of 'women" on dating sites claim to be bisexual? Seen that many hawt women with girlfriends in the real world at anywhere near that proportion? Ones that would actually share that "girlfriend" without serious hissy fit jealousy issues? (It's like herdin' cats...really!) even tho their profiles brag of exactly that?

Don't forget that many of the "women" on these sites, well, simply aren't.

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Big Brother

Title

Simply put, online dating (and no, not restricted to "dating" sites) avoids the evolutionary problem of finding a suitable mate within proximity, by chance.

Pontificate at your own expense.

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Jobs Horns

nothing new :-)

I lie online all the time (except when appying for a job) :-)

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Best thing I did

Having met my wife via match.com, I even told the story in my wedding speech. The older generation raised their eyebrows, but I explained that in a world where professions are becoming increasingly specialised and people are working ever-longer hours, it is becoming difficult to meet potential partners. There was a reason that when I tried speed-dating, the majority of the girls were teachers, and they told me that the guys were mostly in IT. Yes, there were all (mostly, anyway) normal people, but in your parents day you met at work or lived in the same street. Online dating is a way to be completely honest about who you want to meet and why, without spending ages buying people drinks in a dodgy club.

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Alien

Doo, do, doo, do, doooo

It is not accurate to assume that everybody can find dates in the same places. I have used online dating but live in a country so small that the girls that do online dating either: post cartoon/anime pictures as their profile picture (sigh), post pictures that have their kids with them (these are actually your best shot, they are honest), or are fake profiles. The alternative is taking the clubbing scene however I don't dance or smoke so that would be kind of hard for me. Meeting people while doing hobbies? I'm an inline skater and power bocker and no girls were looking for dates. Smaller countries are very skewed.

Those railing against online dating would not need online dating but don't discount it for the guys and gals that find a use for it, be it that you are too frakking busy to take up clubbing, don't like clubbing, are introverted and those that just want to increase their chance.

Be honest, people will appreciate that.

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Bubbly

This surely means overweight and won't shut up.

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i disagree...

...number one lie is knob-size!!

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