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back to article SeaWorld killer killer whale must die, Bible insists

The revelation that Tilikum - the killer whale which last week lived up to its species' name by killing SeaWorld trainer Dawn Brancheau - had killed before, prompted much debate as to whether the tragedy could have been avoided. In 1991, Tilikum was involved in the death of Keltie Byrne at an aquarium in Victoria, British …

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Coat

Stoned whales

....but how are they going to light up under water?

mines the one smelling lightly of soft drugs.

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Whale song

Had you ever wondered why whale song is so deep?

It's that laid back drawl that comes from the stoner (though how they keep the Rizlas dry is a mystery, they can get a light from undersea volcanos)

Whales never have any problems having conversations with Howard Marks.

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Badgers

stoning

I thought biblical types were all dead against drugs.

Doesn't commandement 420 say :

And thou shalt not smoke the leaves of naturally occuring plants (except at such times as big business lobbies Government to have it allowed).

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FAIL

Or....

..maybe simply don't use wild animals as family entertainment....

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Re: don't use wild animals as family entertainment

Can I get an Amen! to that?

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Oh yeah, really

American Family Association King James Bible (SeaWorld Edition)

But you can't give us chapter and verse on that one can you?

I smell baloney on that quote, and I bet "pantless" is also a secret biblical code for something else. Dan Brown would have a field day with this.

Bring in the Japanese, they would know how to solve this with a satisfying outcome for all parties, I hear whale meat is quite a delicacy, I'm not if it is sushiable, if that is the correct culinary phrase.

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Whale is very good.

It's like a darker, more irony veal with a slight fishy taste.

I wouldn't think it would be sushiable as it's not fish, but perhaps you could have a nice Orca Carpaccio?

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Irony?

I would suggest the irony would come if they kill the whale and eat it then they'd be eating more transubstantiated flesh.

Hope I got that one right if not the "black helicopters of God's light" will be after me; oh well, whiskey tango etc.

It's an animal you fucking idiotic conservative religious freaks - get over it.

Aside: I started watching Stargate Atlantis (yet again) this week and loved what the Wraith Queen "Marta" in S1E2 said to Colonel Sumner - along the lines of "we don't care if our food disagrees with us" - totally off-topic, but again, WTF. (Stargate people will understand).

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Pint

Besides The...

...meat, let's not forget the whale oil.

The last time i bought whale oil, it was $250 per ounce.

Of course that was a hella long time ago, when it was the only approved lubricant for the spring motor of a BOLEX H-16 or H-16R 16MM camera.

Since that time, the precision lubrication functions of whale oil have been taken over by the oil of a desert plant known a jojoba, which retails for £50 a liter.

At the peak of the whaling industry, whale oil was $1200 a barrel, but was replaced by petrolium pumped from the ground.

These days I stick to getting lubricated with 211.

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Joke

The Bible.

I never cease to be amazed at the comprehensive coverage of unlikely situations therein.

I have to say though, finding that it covers what to do in the case of homicidal zombie revenant* oxen is probably the most surprising thing I've heard so far.

*I'm guessing that the stoning for the first offence is supposed to be fatal, what with the instructions not to eat the resulting flesh** and all.

**Probably a sensible warning if they are prone to coming back from the dead. I'm not sure that Gaviscon is up to coping with the level of gyppo tummy that could cause.

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Surprised because a killer whale...

er... kills?

You keep an 11,000 lb predator in close confinement and train it do do tricks and feel aggrieved when it occasionally gets pissed off and reverts to type? That's the surprise for me.

It's not a source of innocent fun and education, its cruel exploitation of a dangerous animal for amusement. Until these dimwits figure that out, animals will suffer and people will die.

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And *should* die.

Yeah, I said it: I'd like to see something like that happen at a zoo or a "Sea World" every damn day.

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Correction

An intelligent, social predator, which naturaly roams thousands of miles in close confinement on its own (or in very small groups)

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Happy

I'm all for following the bible literally

and it was a whale not an ox. This guy is nuts, and god shall smite him for quoting falsley

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Bible ignored, nightswimmer molested.

Regarding the 1999 case of the poor chap/stupid retard who decided to sneak a little nightswim with creatures prefixed by the word "Killer", according to the AFA "His body had been bit and the killer whale had torn off his swimming trunks after he had died."

So it's not actually a run-of-the-mill Killer Whale, it's also a sick, perverted, interspecies necrophiliac killer whale.

Hang your head in shame, Seaworld, Tilly's about to have sexual assault and "interfering with a corpse" added to her rap sheet. Man, she's going to the chair.

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it's refreshing to see

someone from the "I have an imaginary friend called jesus" brigade with a sense of humour.

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Coat

I wouldnt want to be

the executioner.

Stoning to death an Orca type may kill you first.

Mine's got pebbles.

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Stop

If it was a tiger

nobody would be surprised.

So why the surprise when another apex predator - in a cage, being made to perform tricks - does it?

People really are stupid.

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Troll

Re: If it was a tiger

No but sea dwelling mammals are intelligent and wouldn't kill a fellow intelligent being. Like what people don't.

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Dead Vulture

here's the catch...

It wouldn't kill a fellow intelligent being, but have no problems with those beings -barely bigger than a seal- who misunderstood their place in the food chain.

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Stop

Dang these religious nutters

Why can't they just leave us all alone?

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Joke

answer

Because God tends to smite them dead when they bother him

<<runs from divine and not-so-divine retribution

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nutters

He's not a religious nutter, he's a very naughty boy.

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Coat

Ah yes, them olden days

When people were stoned when they committed adultery. Nowadays, they commit adultery when they are stoned !

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Re: Ah yes, them olden days

Or commit adultery and get sponsored by the state.

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I have a collie whelping ...

It's almost 4AM, 6 pups on the ground & two to go (hopefully, according to the ultrasound) ... I really don't have the energy to shred this nutball.

Can someone from the US please show the rest of the world that we aren't really a bunch of religious fundies?

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Sly
Coat

Vocal minority

makes people think the majority think that way. Gotta love the fact that people believe the vocal media ratings grabs over real news... oh wait... real news isn't reported much any more. Nevermind.

Mines the one with the PDA with the Bible on it in the pocket.

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Pics...

... or it didn't happen.

OK, don't need to see the pics of them *during* the whelping, but pics of 8 collie puppies would make this day much brighter!

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@Michael Hoffmann

It happened ... I have pics posted for various folks who participated in the last 40+ years of this blood line. They are available, if you know where to look ...

It's now nearly 24 hours later, we have 8 healthy pups, and my Ninny is doing a really good job as a first time mother ... I'm a really happy camper. So is mom-dawg-Ninny, which is vastly more important than my opinion! :-)

Life goes on. Learn to not look like a wounded seal ...

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Joke

I just had a revelation

'the ox shall be stoned, and its owner also shall be put to death.' (Exodus 21:29)"

You just need to be very stoned or raving mad to use most of this book's 'teachings' in any modern context. Yeah, I love religions, dude!

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FAIL

ORCA

ORCA also know as Killer Whale... What part of this most obvious name do people not understand.

On the religious subject, just how do you stone a whale I mean what get it out of the water first, or just throw them into its tank...

Either that or spike it food with a good amount of hash...

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Happy

how do you stone a whale

put hash in the sardines?

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Coat

It's in the name

It's just as well they don't keep Sperm Whales in captivity. Imagine the mess that would make.

Mines the one with Free Willy in the pocket.

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who the hell

I mean seriously who is big enough and strong enough to stone a whale to death !!

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FAIL

stoning?

Stoning an Ox may work but I'm not sure that throwing stones at a 6 ton seamonster lurking behind armour plated glass is going to be very effective as a lethal solution.

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Coat

metaphor

Please be consistent: either take both metaphors literally or not. If it's a whale and not an ox, it may as well be an Exocet missile instead of a stone.

Mine's the one with the heavily annotated book of worship in the pocket.

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Jonah's whale...

...isn't killed apparently. But then, it was doing what God wanted, and Jonah survived. In a bible story, though, that doesn't guarantee your safety. God might make you (if you're a whale or another big fish) swallow his prophet, to teach the prophet a lesson, and then punish you for harming his prophet. Because God is * ****.

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Boffin

I thought it was the American way to kill things

I guess the whale thought that seeing as he's done the time, he may was well do the crime.

Forget the sharks, we got humans with frikkin' laser beams!

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Stop

The clue was in the name

Killer whale. Nuff said.

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More seriously

Was the whale wearing clothing made of mixed fibres?

And how much gear would you have to use to get a whale stoned?

I would like to hear the splendidly eye-browed Arch Bish of Canterbury's views on this one, for (im)moral guidance.

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Joke

jonah was a midget perhaps?

Has anyone consider the possibility that the Orca was just trying to replicate a scene from the bible - Jonah and the Whale anyone?

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Anonymous Coward

Whale / religitard smack down

I think we should throw the entire organisation's membership into the pool, suitably armed with stones, and see who's god is the most powerful.

My bet would be on Veles, god of the beasts, but unfortunately he reckons gambling is a sin :-(

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IT Angle

Sound principles

Easy to mock the ancient Judaic laws, but the principles are quite sound.

Basically if an animal kills someone, then in order to stop a repeat event, the animal should be destroyed. If the owner doesn't do this and it kills again, then the owner is held responsible (for the life that has been lost).

The death penalty was required for murder and when, by omission of action by said owner a (second) death occured, this was deemed to be the same (legally) as the owner committing murder.

The underlying principle is simply that human life is held to be more important than animal life.

Sounds very similar to the legal principles we operate today: - i.e. dog kills child, dog is killed, owner of dog is held culpable by law. Or corporate manslaughter. Duty of care..... Don't here any mocking here.

Except in this case, there seems to be an exception because the animal is 'wild'. It's a fair point to make as to whether such an animal should be in captivity (personally, I don't think such animals should be kept in captivity) BUT this animal has killed 3 people and whoever has responsibility for it needs to either destroy it or release it.

And, given it's track record, someone (CEO Seaworld perhaps?) needs to be held legaly accountable for what happened. If they were, you might not find them so willing to keep such a creature in the first place.

As i said, sound principles but...... mock on, until it happens again.

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Go

Practicalities

There can be only two practicalities with this scenario:

1) Killing the ox destroys that violent gene;

2) Killing the owner destroys the gene that allows people to be killed without remorse.

In both cases if either had ever procreated then it only makes sense that any offspring is also put to death. QED.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Sound principles

Of course the essence of various ancient laws often make sense in the right context. For example, "don't eat pig" makes a bit more sense once you've seen the film Snatch and have considered what kind of diet wild pigs might have. But it's the rigidity of interpretation of these ancient laws that ultimately undermines the spirit of these rules and usually sends those advocating them off on wild tangents that at best make little sense, and at worst actively harm people and society.

Generally, the "ancient civil code of Israel" (Charlton Heston possibly required for the voice-over) belongs in ancient Israel, not in modern America, because human knowledge has refined the source material that produced such a code, confirming some things as common sense that keeps everyone healthy and happy, adding other things that people just weren't aware of back then (and there are plenty of those), and debunking other stuff that amounts to superstition.

Getting all shouty about a religious text invites ridicule because it implies an unquestioningly rigid view of that text, setting it above the actual knowledge that should be defining how a society should function.

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Snach?

I haven't seen the movie, do they mention trichinosis? I imagine the understanding of cooking by ancient folk wasn't quite up to par with today and rare pork was more common. I also think the quoted passage was more in reference to the potential for the ox to be diseased eg. mad cow or similar. Such diseases would likely have been seen as demonic possession or other related evil and historical tribal knowledge would likely have shown that eating the diseased meat was not conducive to good health. Basically, I think there are reasons for most of what appears in the bible, it's just that they didn't have a good grasp of the reasons and attributed most things to the good word, "Word Up!"

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Pint

If There Were Nothing...

...to Old Wive's Tales, they wouldn't have lived to be old wives. The Jews were envied by other cultures because they were healthier.

Same misfortune befell witches, who, by making soap (thats what's in the big kettle) and practing other healthy habits, avoided the common pestulances of the day.

It's impossible to ignore a pox, but beer helps you tolerate it.

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People seem to forget

that these silly laws were not so silly. It may seem odd to not eat pork or shellfish, but would you want to eat them in a hot country with no refridgeration?

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Alert

Hardly surpirsing is it?!

Keep an animal that roams thousands of square miles of open ocean in a 50m wide pool of water and it goes a bit mental!

Doesn't take David Bellamy to work that bloody obvious fact out!!!

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jai
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physically impossible?

how do you stone a killer whale? the velocity of the rock is going to drop drastically as it enters the water, you might get a lucky strike if it's close to the surface, but then it'll dive down and there's no way someone could throw a stone with enough speed to hit with any force

for that matter, how the hell you do stone an Ox without pissing it off and getting gorged/trampled yourself?

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