I...
am not letting you redesign my phallic symbol!
US must redesign killer hot dogs
The American Academy of Pediatrics is determined to tackle a major threat to the wellbeing of US kiddies: killer hot dogs which present a clear and present choking hazard. According to a report (summary here) in the academy's journal Pediatrics, choking is "a leading cause of morbidity and mortality among children, especially …
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Tuesday 23rd February 2010 11:40 GMT nichomach
Deplorable use of common sense, there...
"She noted: "As a mother who has fed toddlers cylindrical foods like grapes, bananas, hot dogs and carrots, I 'redesigned' them in my kitchen by cutting them with a paring knife until my children were old enough to manage on their own.""
I can understand the woman's asperity... Common sense fail by safety 'elf. Pointing out the bleedin' obvious win by sausage lady.
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Tuesday 23rd February 2010 15:11 GMT unitron
Satirical grammar?
What's satirical and funny about using the word "less" when the word "fewer" is called for?
Unless he was trying to imply a lack of intelligence and education on the part of those children, and making a joke at his own expense by implying the same about himself. Seems extraordinarily subtle, and likely to go unnoticed by a vast majority of his audience, regardless of their level of intelligence and education.
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Tuesday 23rd February 2010 13:52 GMT Anonymous Coward
re: scottboy
Both sentences are of course correct, but yours manages to contain the adjective Hick's did in fact not use in the quote I was paraphrasing. Of course you would know this had you actually watched the stand up routine in question (and remembered it), but don't let that spoil your fun.
Narcissism thinly veiled as an attack on someone's grammar never gets tiring and I'm sure this post, and many others on this site, will provide you with plenty more opportunities to amuse yourself by rewriting things; not to add any meaning or insight, just to prove that you are better than the original author.
A++++, Would troll again.
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Tuesday 23rd February 2010 15:33 GMT unitron
Actually, they aren't
Only one sentence is correct.
If you're talking discrete, countable units (and giving a specific number of attendants means that you are), you use "fewer", and if not, you use "less".
Thus, if you add fewer cups of water to something, you have added less water, but you can't have less cups or fewer water.
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Tuesday 23rd February 2010 13:32 GMT Anonymous Coward
@Harrumph
<quote>Also, try good old thick British style sausages that you can just cut up.</quote>
Mmmm, yeah.
http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/4636889.Sussex_man_chokes_to_death_on_sausage/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1232942/Toddler-dies-choking-sausage-nursery.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bradford/7376072.stm
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Tuesday 23rd February 2010 16:55 GMT Steve Mann
Bah!
Meat content in UK Sausage? Don't make me larf! I get my Cumberland sausage from Myers of Keswick (in Manhattan) and he readily admits he can't call 'em sausage in the US as legally they don't have enough meat in 'em. Delicious, though.
Wasn't the general lack of meat in bangers the plot of a "Yes Prime Minister" episode in the '80s? As I remember it, the E(E)C was going to reclassify them as "Meat By-Product High-Fat Offal Tubes". Of course, that was only make believe, but still, when Hacker read the list of ingredients it put your average hot dog to shame in the "almost edible tat" stakes.
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Tuesday 23rd February 2010 11:46 GMT Jeroen Braamhaar
Yeah right ...
.... or we could start using common fscking sense and teach children to eat at a normal pace instead of wolfing down their fastfood ...
Oh wait, I forgot, Common Sense is outlawed in the US at the behest the ambulance chasers, "public interest" groups and various lobby groups.
What a tardegy!
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Tuesday 23rd February 2010 11:46 GMT irish donkey
American babies are breastfeed hotdogs..... LOL
Maybe you should try just supervising your children when they are eating their dinner.
Crazy idea we English have. Have dinner as a family and promote sensible eating.
Its a crazy idea and it might just work, not all responsibility can be foisted off onto somebody else
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Tuesday 23rd February 2010 11:48 GMT Richard Jones 1
Gorgon Braun has the answer
This is a simple one to answer and good old gorgon braun has the answer. Send all babies to a government crèche until they are say 6 years old and thus able to eat food as the parents cannot be trusted (sadly in some cases, clearly cannot be trusted) to care for them and teach them to eat food properly.
Mind you on second thoughts, given the UK's record of dealing with children this might not be such a good idea...
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Tuesday 23rd February 2010 11:49 GMT Anonymous Coward
It's a title
She noted: "As a mother who has fed toddlers cylindrical foods like grapes, bananas, hot dogs and carrots, I 'redesigned' them in my kitchen by cutting them with a paring knife until my children were old enough to manage on their own."
A sensible parent?! I'm going to have to go and sit down for a bit, oh wait, I am sat down! Excuse me while I fall off my chair.
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Tuesday 23rd February 2010 11:49 GMT Evil Auditor
"some savvy inventor will find a way"
I'm not a savvy inventor but i'm sure minced hot dogs will become very popular among those nanny-state-taking-away-all-hazards-and-pillow-packed morons. Life is deadly - live with that! (Or rather die, eventually)
Ah, there is light at the end of the tunnel and not the light/tunnel as in near death experience but very concrete as in Janet Riley: "...I 'redesigned' them in my kitchen by cutting them..."
EA
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Tuesday 23rd February 2010 11:55 GMT DavyBoy79
Simple idea really
Extrude them through a star shaped extruder. Make them larger so you still get the same amount of meat, but now you have breathing channels running along the length. It would also make a great place for the various sauces and additions to sit on the hot dog without out sliding off!
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Tuesday 23rd February 2010 11:55 GMT Anonymous Coward
Just put a hole ...
... running through the middle of the hotdog, so when the little darling deepthroats it they don't suffocate.
Problem solved. Alternatively don't feed your 3 year old child shitty hot dogs.
Quick ban hard things, and fire, and sharp things, and gravity, and loud things, and things you might choke on, and and and... fun....
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
