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back to article Holy Father turns on to Dad Rock

The Vatican has prescribed the perfect iPod playlist for Catholics looking to spend their summer trailing between carefree rock festivals rather than scouring their soul on foot-lacerating pilgramages. The playlist can safely be filed under Dad Rock, encompassing artistes from The Beatles, Pink Floyd and Fleetwood Mac, to Paul …

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Grenade

I wonder...

...if any homosexuals were involved in the production of any of that music? If so, the Vatican has just endorsed the products of people whome it believes should be eradicated from the human race. Interesting.

While I'm at it, did I ever mention the Church used to own slaves and was compensated handsomely by the government for its losses when slavery was abolished? And that they never returned the money? I did? Oh OK then.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: I wonder...

Mmm. I'd just like to pre-empt the inevitable by saying YEAH AND MICHAEL JACKSON WAS A HOMOSEXUAL PEEDO SO YOU CAN TOTALLY SEE WHY THE CATHOLIC CHURCH WOULD ENDORSE HIS WORK HEE HEE.

Now that's out of the way you can all proceed to finding new ways to call Bono a twat and share your musings on what exactly you would have liked to have done to Stevie Nicks back in the day.

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Flame

Stevie Nicks

What do you mean, back in the day? I'd have been about 8 you sick little monkey! Mind you, a quick check of the google shows that, well, yeah, ok, back in the day I'd have been a lucky 8 year old

Anyway - I thought all the best musicians went to hell? No Robert Johnson on there then?

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Anonymous Coward

Go take

your bigoted views elsewhere.

They don't "believes should be eradicated from the human race" at all.

What a suprise, an institution run by 90 year old me have outdated views. Homosexuality was illigal in the UK untill 1967.

Most groups owned slaves. Including the government. Not right, but hardly ground shaking news. Have you made sure your family never profited from slavery? What, the British Empire was built on slaves? Have you ever made recompens for that?

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Anonymous Coward

Eradicated?!?

Wow, that's a fairly hefty grenade you've tossed there.

You realise that the cafflicks only say "don't stick your willie up another man's bum", right? They don't say "die! die! die!" or anything like that. They also say "don't stick your willie up a woman's front (or back) bum if she's not your wife". Again they don't say "die! die! die!"

There are members of the priesthood who fancy women. They are asked to refrain from sticking their willies up women.

There are members of the priesthood who fancy men. They are asked to refrain from sticking their willies up men.

Well maybe the lack of a marriage option for gay people is unfair, but it's hardly the same as calling for mass murder.

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No no

Not to get bogged down in semantics, but you're both wrong. You are allowed to be homosexual all you like and be a Catholic at the same time. Yay. If you actually have sex with another man, or indeed any woman who is not your wife, you're to be stoned. Not so yay.

Also, not sure where the good old Empire comes into this. The Empire was all about commercial interests, not just caving someone's head in because you don't like their lifestyle. With Britain you may not actually have been free, but you were allowed to live pretty much as you saw fit and were protected. Even Gandhi has been quoted as saying something along the lines of 'Meh, it could be worse'.

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Heart

This possibly comes from

The Joy Behar show. She recently had a guest on who made this claim (and a few others, equally spurious). Not exactly the most scholarly source of information... but then again, why should that be a requirement for forming opinions...

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Joke

I thought they only said

I thought they only said "man should not lay with man" nothing about putting willies up holes. I thought that meant it was OK as long as you did it standing up! Damn! I really should of read the small print!

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12345

"There are members of the priesthood who fancy women. They are asked to refrain from sticking their willies up women."

Good thing it doesn't say anything about little boys, innit.

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Silver badge

@Jim Coleman & all the rest of you ...

Actually, it might surprise you that Catholicism doesn't have a problem with homosexuality. *I* was surprised, but I heard it from a Catholic Priest, in his own words ...

Standing in line ("queue" to you Brits) at a local supermarket, a couple of 30-something women were arguing about California's Prop 8 (anti gay marriage law) just in front of me. In front of them was a local Roman Catholic priest. The anti-prop8 gal tapped the good Father on his shoulder and asked him to let her friend know the Church's opinion (why this would matter is a matter of speculation ...). He allowed that according to his cannon, being gay itself wasn't against Church Law, and as far as he was concerned if gay people wanted to get married, let 'em. The anti kinda gasped, and asked how that could be ... The good Father responded that being gay wasn't a sin. When pressed, he further amplified it by saying that who falls in love with whom isn't the Church's issue ... The only thing the Church has issues with is having sex without the intent to conceive, and THAT is a sin. Miss anti turned white, then red, and cut a trail out of the store to minor applause.

Please note that I'm not a fan of any organized religion, and I voted against Prop 8 ...

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Anonymous Coward

RE: no no

The bible also has characters (like Abraham) who have more than one wife. El Papa and his loathsome congregation aren't too keen on that.

It's obvious what has happened though - over the years they've highlighted the bits they like and made them "the rules" and glossed over the bits they don't like...

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FAIL

RE: @Jim Coleman & all the rest of you ...

This is because the church glosses over the bits of the bible they don't want and change the rules when it suits them.

"The only thing the Church has issues with is having sex without the intent to conceive, and THAT is a sin."

So basically, homosexuality IS a sin... as is contraception.

These guys need a jolly good kicking and humainity needs to forget all about this "sky fairy" nonsense!

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Silver badge

@AC 11:07

"So basically, homosexuality IS a sin"

No. Homosexuality is not. Engaging in homosexual sex is. Subtle, but real difference.

"as is contraception."

Yes, according to the Catholics. Even (especially?) if the couple in question is married. Note that I'm not agreeing with Catholicism's opinion on such matters, I was just reporting a conversation that I overheard. For all I know the priest was in a foul mood and decided to put the wind up MissAnti8.

"humainity needs to forget all about this "sky fairy" nonsense!"

Agreed.

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Thumb Down

um

so who gives a fuck what bunch of sexually frustrated, hate spewing bigots in dresses with delusions of adequacy and relevance think?

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Silver badge
FAIL

Re: um

Yes, we wouldn't want to spew hate would we.

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wow

so where was my hate speech?

sexually frustrated - well, apart from the irish catholics, that's largely true;

hate spewing - nope, doesn't denigrate their lifestyle choices - just an observation on what they say

dress wearing - ok, you got me there - that is demeaning. Those lovely frocks are obviously their choice and I respect that

delusions of adequacy and relevance - so remind me, what's % of the UK population go to church these days?

talk about a teaspoon of piss in the sunday school teachers tea..

really

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Grenade

RE: wow

Last I looked 1.7 million were regular CoE attendees. Now there are over 50 million people in England, so that equates to about 3.4% of the population.

..and if we were to take children out of the equation (they only go because their parents make them). It might even be lower than 3%.

Obviously, this doesn't take Catholics or any other Christ-fearers into account. It's still a pretty low number considering that CoE is (supposed to be) the #1 religion in England.

Before anyone splits any hairs, remember all these branches of Christianity are seperate for a reason - they all have different interpreations of what some bearded man in the sky wants them to do... and they can't all be right!

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Coffee/keyboard

LOL!

"Bono is these days more famous for acting as if he is Jesus than for singing about him"

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Grenade

Bottled

I see they bottled it on the Stones 'Sympathy For The Devil' then.

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Gold badge
Grenade

Self-destructive tendancies.

There was I thinking that the reason that Neil Young refused to play with Crosby, Stills and Nash for so long was because of Dave Crosby's excessive coke habit, which Neil disapproved of. Also that the reason that Neil was limited on studio time and appearances for reasons of illness was because of his epilepsy and not due to booze or drugs as is more usual in the industry.

Nice of you to clear that one up for me.

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FAIL

Please tell me

>so who gives a fuck what bunch of sexually frustrated, hate spewing bigots in dresses with delusions of adequacy and relevance think?

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what hypocrisy means.

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Strange dictionary you have there.

If you had gone for "Irony" it may have worked...

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Click The Green Button Above

Just voted up the post you mean, AC, now had rolled down to yours one. +1. Binary thinking.

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FAIL

RE: Please tell me

Are you accusing the original poster of being sexually frustrated and having delusion sof adequacy and relevance or are you accusing him of wearing a dress? The world needs to know!

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Coat

oh, come on

..where's Psalm 69 by Ministry? It has far more suitable lyrics, if we're plundering manky old geetar choons for the spells and smells merchants..

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"All your dreams are made, when you're chained to a mirror and a razor blade"

Vatican-endorsed cocaine lifestyle. Interesting.

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Silver badge
Coat

Wrong floyd track

Should have been 'Sheep'.

I'll get me coat with 'Dawkins' on the back

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More Irony.

Brilliant!

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Pirate

@censored

Has the Pope actually listened to What's The Story(Morning Glory) ? Maybe he thinks the mirror & blade are about being obsessed by shaving.

Perhaps they should've included the Queens of the Stone Age's "Feelgood Hit of the Summer" as well, as its got a nice sounding title.....

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Coat

So...

... the Vatican have forgiven John Lennon for saying that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus...?

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Re:Homosexuality

They don't just ask their priests to stop "shoving their willies up mens bums", they say homosexuality is a sin. They probably in many cases go so far as thinking of it as a disease. While this isn't quite eradicating it in the sense of killing them all they would very much like to "wipe out" the practice by "curing" homosexuals.

As much as I'm not a fan of religion the vattican certainly isn't known for being progressive. While the anglican church has debated over openly gay bishops the catholics have yet to allow women as priests. I'm not a fan of discrimination based on religion, but how do you deal with this when the religion itself is fundamentally discriminatory in itself? My solution is to criticise the institution and its leadership without criticising individual believers unless they act in a bigotous manner. This is more or less how I handle governments too, I consider the government of a country as separate to the individual citizens thus I don't blame Americans for invading Iraq I only blame the relevant (mis)administration.

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Paris Hilton

Wipe out

As far as I know the Vatican has no desire to "cure" homosexuals. It does not consider homosexuality a disease, and it does not categorise homosexuality as a sin.

The church is a human organisation, massive in membership and very old. It suffers the same challenges as other big, old, creaky organisations. It's not that surprising that they are slow to modernise. Look at IBM in the eighties or the problems Microsoft had with the new fangled internet, or the NHS now and their problems with modernisation. Or the EU or the UN.

The church also suffers from people repeating that it "probably thinks <this>" or "probably says <that>". As a result people come to believe that it harbours many crazy practices or opinions which it does not.

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Joke

Ben's Playlist?

Jack Coleman?

"...if any homosexuals were involved" -

well, also, isn't there a place for, say, murders, drug dealers, baby food producers etc, as we have here, no doubt, an audiency with an overwhelmlingly wider range of habbits?

And, generally, what we have here is ~prob. Ben XVI's week-ago playlist.

Hi Sarah, feels fine. [lick]Must there be a new feature to build a play list for a definite person on this[/lick]/another cool site?

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Joke

Revised Vatican Setlist

previous posters

Rolling Stones - Sympathy for the Devil

Ministry - Psalm 69

My two eurocents

Killing Joke - Walking With Gods

+ yours commentards

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"Well known Jehovah's Witness"

There's also at least one gentleman of the Hebrew persuasion in that list as well. Precious few ladies, though.

Tell 'em to come back when they've got a Pontiff that rocks out to Aretha Franklin or Tina Turner. Whatever.

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IR

Ooh

Interesting that Graceland is on there because of the song Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes, which is about how some people are so wealthy that they decorate with precious jewels and expensive metals rather than help the poor. Actually, it is hard to find at least something or someone on each of the albums mentioned that wouldn't be ironic for the Vatican to recommend. To paraphrase Hicks, let me live with the Satanists, they have all the good albums.

Most of the list wouldn't be out of place on a Top 50 albums list that comes up every other year from one of the music mags, the majority in the top 10. So nothing special.

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Happy

(What's the story) Morning Glory?

Yep, certainly gets the girfriend thinking about god

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Paris Hilton

It's all a fiendish plot....

... to destroy the pop icons of us old rockers, I tell ya. How could anyone pretend to be cool when they're listening to Pope-approved groups??

(Sorta like playing Barry Manilow in public places to frighten the yoof away, but in reverse).

Well, it ain't gonna work. Pink Floyd are gods and the Pope doesn't get a look in. (Puts on Young Lust:

Ooooooh I need a dirty woman

Ooooooh I need a dirty girl...)

That's better. Let's see the Vatican approve *that* :)

Paris because... well with those lyrics how could I not...?

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Catholic church and homosexuality

You know, all this information is on the internet? Especially with the Catholics, they've got reams of the stuff up there.

A quick search reveals a letter to the bishops from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith on the Pastoral Care of Homosexuals. In it, the Congregation seems to emphasise two points (the second rather more strongly). Firstly that homosexuals should be treated inclusively and with understanding and, secondly, that the homosexual act itself is immoral and can not be condoned or excused.

To be honest, I rather get the impression they're patting themselves on their collective back. They've already said that sexual activity can only ever be within marriage and that marriage can only ever be between a man and a woman. They must think they've got it sewn up rather nicely.

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Coat

That Vatican playlist in full,

It all makes sense, I see some common themes....

The Beatles - Revolver - Yeah lots of funny chemicals

David Crosby - If I Could Only Remember My Name, and the 60s, the 70s and most of the 80s. Is it true you can get high just by touching Mr Crosby

Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon - Does Syd Barretts name ring a bell?

Fleetwood Mac - Rumours - LOTS more chemical fun and marriages breaking up?

Donald Fagen - The Nightfly - Hmmm, first two Steely Dan LPs “Can't Buy a Thrill” and “Countdown to Ecstasy”

Michael Jackson - Thriller - alleged to like little boys, just like a lot of priests

Paul Simon - Graceland - shacked up with Princess Leia and her habit for a while, didn't he also write "Mrs. Robinson",

U2 - Achtung Baby - Ze britisher bombers are ovzerhead, man ze flak gunz

Oasis - (What's the Story) Morning Glory? - already covered by earlier posters

Carlos Santana - Supernatural!!! quick send for Richard Dawkins

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FAIL

Load of rubbish.

Needs more SLAAAAAAAAAYYYYYER!

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Happy

They also missed ...

The Electric Prunes' "Mass in F Minor"

and of course Leonard Bernstein's "Mass", although they really didn't like that from the first minute of the first performance.

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