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back to article Avatar whups Confucius's sorry ass

Sci-fi epic Avatar has administered a righteous kicking at the Chinese box office to a locally-produced film about the life of Confucius - despite the authorities' reported attempt to ensure the home-grown product's success. Historical drama Confucius has taken a mere 97 million yuan ($14m) since its release on 22 January, and …

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Anonymous Coward

authoritarian political and social theory

Sounds like Confucius should do well here in the UK also.

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Linux

International release?

Anybody know when Confucius will be released on DVD?

Tux, cuz I don't do Windows.

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Grenade

Confucius never blew that much shit up

and, as we all know, the only thing that really counts in modern cinema is how much shit you blow up, how big that shit is, and how big you blow it up.

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Unhappy

RE: Confucius never blew that much shit up

And yet no one will pick up my film "Elephant dropping vs TNT". :(

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Allegedly 3D only?

So was it or wasn't it released on standard 2D in the end? Sociologists have to know! If on general 2D release then look out for future "litmus test" releases used to guage the revolutionary potential of the unwashed masses. Then again maybe the Chinese are flocking to cinemas to witness that mythycal creation known as a "quality product"! (in terms of CGI at least)

Ahh I rip the piss but all the while I'm alright. As of new years eve I'm a free man, out of the steenking post-industrial piss-pit that the UK has become, now living comfortably (VERY comfortably) "off the land" in Portugal. Like I said: SUFO - Sell Up, Fuck Off. If this post sounds a bit ranty its cos I was just at me neighbour's cellar sampling his latest vintage. Still a bit "fizzy ribena" but very palateable and does the trick regardless.

Yeah, life's good if you don't stand for any of its shit!!! Now I'm gonna roll a joint. And probably have the Moderatrix (I get the feeling she is now legion, though) bin this post. A move I heartilly recommend due to my intoxicated state.

Recommended, but not expected...

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Coat

chinese confused

why movie about confucius does not get confused with avatar...

Coat, i'll go check myself into the psychiatric ward for mildly confused people

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Silver badge
Joke

Sir

At least they are being philosophical about it.

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Flame

lmao

I know many euros claim the States has no culture but we sure can export it well with the Hollywood machine. China is dangerous and all but any rational state would avoid wiping us out because hopefully they need our movies (of course lots of UK, OZ actors, directors in Hollywood as well). Of course this also explains why the Middle East is such a danger, they don't seem to want anything we offer. I guess nirvana is goat farming in a land of only true believers and then enjoying your 72 virgins when you die.

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Silver badge

For your information

China is a communist state. The 72 virgins you refer to has to do with integrist Muslim teachings in terrorist circles.

The two are not alike, and should not be confused at all.

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Bronze badge

Liked it.

I saw the shorts for it when I was in HK last week. I'm looking forward to an english-sub release.

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Anonymous Coward

Surprising?

If I want to watch stuff about Confucius, I'd tune in to the History Channel. I'd rather sleep at home and not in the cinema.

Oh well, the Chinese seem to be unable to produce interesting movies or cartoons; their lame attempts at exploiting the "Monkey King" legends are surpassed by the Japanese anime portrayals (one of them would be Dragon Ball Z).

On the other side, they did bring us Shaolin Soccer!

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FAIL

Only in 3D?

That's like saying, "you're not allowed to see the pointless version that really sucks, only the version that has the ooh aahh, fireworks factor that people will watch only to see the cool effects". What were they thinking?

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Headmaster

Headline

But why was Confucius' donkey sorry?

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Anonymous Coward

@asdf

I am sorry there, old man, I seem to have absolutely no clue what you are talking about.

Big budget 3D films about pretendy people travelling in pretendy spaceships to pretendy moons of pretendy planets to mine pretendy minerals despite the pretendy blue aliens wanting to continue to hug their pretendy trees and ride their pretendy flying things without having their pretendy homes mined by the aforementioned pretendy people is not culture, even if it is in 3D.

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Joke

Wait for Confucius II

Given H'wood's propensity for remakes, surely it'll only be a matter of a few years before some one decided to take the Chinese film and remake it for the sweating masses, (in super hi-def 3D smellovision, or whatever's in vogue at the time).

I predict that the lead will be taken by either Robert Downey Jr or maybe Steven Seagal. "Confewshush" will go into exile to do his 'thinking thing' after his family is brutally slaughtered by Ghengis Khan and his Mongol hordes, only barely escaping himself. Then he'll come back to revenge himself on GK and hordes with "kick-ass" kung fu moves along with major explosions (after he discovers gunpowder and guns in an A-Team type segment). GK will then kidnap the Emperor's daughter, Conf will then rescue her, fight GK to the death in the Forbidden Palace, before inflicting major gunpowder-related damage on the Mongol hordes that are threatening to invade the Palace. We find out that GK is actually some evil space alien, and Conf is actually an amnesiac alien prince himself. Film finishes with Conf embracing female lead while staring dramatically into the sunrise promising to 'protect this land that I love'. GK to be played by Alan Rickman, John Malkovich or Anthony Hopkins. Not sure who would be slated to play the obligatory sidekick - Jet Li or Jackie Chan?

Should I get writing that screenplay at this point...? ;)

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Re: wait for Confucius II

Damn, I thought you were a genuine Hollywood script writer - that seems far too close to a likely movie plot...

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No miracle.

Even a reshowing of the 60's Godzilla movies would top that lame lesson in revisionism of a pretty smart guy for his day.

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